Evidence-based leadership resilience, executive presence, burnout prevention, and stress management for leaders under pressure. Keynotes, coaching, and practical systems by Snowden McFall.
One of the interesting things about success is that many people don’t feel they are worthy of it. In fact, they judge themselves harshly for past mistakes and use that as a reason to feel like a fraud when they achieve key goals or levels of success. Sometimes they end up sabotaging themselves and limiting their growth, all subconsciously. One of the keys to overcoming the fraud syndrome is authenticity.
Be Authentically Yourself
Watching the tv show “The Glee Project,“ what struck me most was how the producer and casting agent wanted these talented young people to be just BE THEMSELVES. All too often, people feel they have to fit into some mold to succeed. We think we have to achieve a certain degree, look a particular way, dress in special clothes to be accepted and loved.
And the truth is the opposite. When you are truly yourself, you are your most loveable and approachable. As people age, they tend to relax more and more, caring less about what others think of them. That is incredibly liberating. As Emerson wrote, “To thine own self, be true.” Live life according to your values and principles, be the wonderful, unique and gifted person that you are and share the best of yourself with others. The world will be a poorer place if you don’t.
@2011 Snowden McFall. All Rights Reserved. No duplication without permission
Like many people, I recorded the finale of the Oprah Winfrey show. Rather than have guests, she gave us a keynote speech filled with incredible wisdom. I’ve shared some of those nuggets below with suggestions for how you can implement them at work. One of my favorites is “Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.” How can you prepare for that window of opportunity in your life?
Oprah has inspired millions for decades, and yet managed to make each one of us feel like we mattered to her. Quite a feat, quite a remarkable woman
What Energy are You Sending Out?
Oprah’s also shared about brain specialist Jill Taylor, the author of My Stroke of Insight. This compelling book chronicles her journey from massive stroke to full recovery.
I read it recently when my father had a stroke and it gave me great insight. Jill said “Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into my space.” Doctors who treated her as though she wasn’t there discouraged her; those who looked her in the eye and encouraged her made a world of difference.
So the question is, what kind of energy do you bring into the space of others? It is upbeat, confident, compassionate, or is it critical, impatient, demanding? Think about how you can make a difference in the energy you carry. Also consider what energy comes into your life from others; you may want to limit your exposure to negative people who complain and disparage others.
@2011 Snowden McFall. All Rights Reserved. No duplication without permission
One of the most effective burnout prevention strategies is also one of the hardest skills to practice: saying no.
Many people who appear calm, effective, and resilient are not managing more than everyone else. They are managing their boundaries better.
Why Saying No Protects Your Energy
If you have a demanding professional life and want to sustain performance without sacrificing your health or family life, limits matter. Evenings filled with constant commitments quickly erode recovery time. More than two nights a week of work or community obligations often begins to tax both energy and relationships.
When pressure is already high, adding new responsibilities compounds exhaustion. Saying no is not avoidance. It is discernment.
How to Say No Without Burning Bridges
An especially effective way to decline additional leadership or board work is to be clear and respectful:
“I only want to give you 100% effort, and right now I can’t do that with all my current commitments. Please ask me again next year so I can re-evaluate.”
Most people appreciate honesty. They would rather have you at your best than overextended and disengaged.
Learning when and how to say no is one of the most reliable ways to prevent burnout before it takes hold. Explore additional strategies leaders use to protect energy and performance at Prevent Burnout.
One of the most important dimensions of any marketing plan should be customer retention. The best way to keep your business healthy is to take excellent care of your employees and existing customers.
Even if the primary work you have done for them has been completed, check in regularly- at least once every 4-6 weeks. Educate your customers, send them articles, post information on your website, send out ezines. Have lunch when you can. Send them greeting cards.
A personal touch means so much.
Let them know you value you them. Always thank them for referrals- write handwritten notes and let them know how much you appreciate their business.
Never, ever, take them for granted.
To sign up for Snowden’s ezine newsletter on stress, happiness, marketing and motivation, go to: http://firedupnow.com/firedupemailregister.html
A great many studies including one on 2000 people found that being kind to others decreases stress and enhances mental health. Pick one day this week and choose to deliberately commit 5 separate acts of kindness. These should be chosen and intentional acts, but they do not need to be big things. Something as simple as paying the tokens for the people behind you in the toll booth or paying for the next person’s coffee, or taking a muffin to 5 different people in your office- all of those would be great conscious acts of kindness which impact others and most importantly, make you feel happier.
Other examples:
• make a pie for a neighbor who has been shut-in
• pick up extra groceries for a lonely person
• bring doughnuts or bagels to work
• send flowers for no reason
• feed a homeless animal
• clean out your closets and donate to the homeless
Any step you take to share from the heart will make you happier.
Water and Food Make a Big Impact Many people are working longer hours and doing the work of several people. Hunched over a computer or isolated in a cubicle, these folks’ very work environment is not conducive to health. So change that. At least 3 times a day, get up, stretch, go for a walk outside, and drink a full glass of water. A 5% drop in body fluids will cause a 25-30% loss in energy. 80% of NorthAmericans are dehydrated!
Add lemon since the scent of lemon cuts keyboard mistakes in half. And eat some pistachios or walnuts to cut inflammation, boost your energy and prevent depression.
Pay Attention to What Brings You Joy!
Harvard research shows the direct correlation between happiness and success; it’s the opposite of what many thought. Be happy first and then you will have greater success in all areas of your life. Happy, optimistic, motivated employees sell 56% more, and are far more productive in all areas of life.So focus on what brings you joy, and do that more often to cope better with stress and have a happier life.
You may think that when you get to a certain level of income, or find the right life partner, that you will be truly happy. But the research shows just the opposite is true. You need to be happy first, and then the success, relationships and accomplishment will come.
You may think that when you get to a certain level of income, or find the right life partner, that you will be truly happy. But the research shows just the opposite is true. You need to be happy first, and then the success, relationships and accomplishment will come.
The latest research out of Harvard on happiness is that the most successful business people, entrepreneurs, doctors and workers are happy first. Sustained performance at the executive level depends on leadership resilience, not willpower alone. Our brains are actually wired to work at maximum creativity, resilience and effectiveness when we are in a state of relaxation and joy. Consider this:
• Doctors put in a positive state before diagnosing show 3x more intelligence and creativity & make diagnoses 19% faster than doctors in a neutral state.
• Optimistic salespeople sell 56% more than pessimists. (Are your salespeople optimists?)
• Happy students far outperform their peers on tests.1
So how can you get happier?
The old maxim “what you put your focus on manifests” is entirely true. When I was researching and writing my book on stress, I was very attuned to stress; it was my focus. And so, I attracted more of it into my life (subconsciously, of course.) During the year preceding my stress book being published, my sister–in-law died of melanoma, three girlfriends battled cancer and I faced some significant dental issues.
The contrary is also true. Since I have been researching happiness, the quality of my life is significantly better. My husband got a great new job 7 months ago, my friends are coping well with their illnesses. I still have some dental issues but they are being handled easily and effectively. I am the one who made the switch to be happier, and you can, too.
If you’ve been worrying about paying your bills, getting more business, or your health, a much better use of your time and energy would be to focus on getting happy.
Your health and cash flow will improve in direct proportion to your genuinely positive attitude and optimistic perspective.
Here are 3 quick ways to increase your happiness
1. Celebrate your successes- large and small. Create a victory wall at work where you post achievements of any level- articles that have been published about you, your people or your company, progress on work goals. Praise others publicly and specifically, and encourage them to do the same.
2. Find something to look forward to. In one study, people who just thought about watching their favorite movie had an increase of 27% in endorphins- just from thinking about it. Every time something stressful occurs, think about what you are looking forward to and shift your state of mind.
3. Do something you love to do for fun at least 3 times a week. Schedule in your favorite activities and don’t give them up- they will make a huge difference in how you joyful you are and how successful you are at work.
Your life can thrive in all areas, but you need to thrive first. Take the time to really focus on your own happiness and see how it impacts everything!
1. (Data from the book The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor)
When someone is speaking to you, do you stop what you’re doing and look them in the eye, giving them your full focus? Most of us do not, because we’re multi-tasking. This can be a big mistake if you want your co-workers and loved ones to feel valued and heard. Focus on them, don’t do anything else, nod and don’t interrupt until they’re finished. Most of us interrupt because we’re afraid we won’t get to say what we are thinking. Let go of that and give them your total undivided attention. Have open body language and demonstrate your interest by nodding.
According to Peter Drucker, 60% of all business mistakes are the result of faulty listening. That’s a huge number- 60%! A little more time actively listening could make a huge difference.
Leo Buscaglia said “The greatest gift of loving is to listen.” Let others know you value and appreciate them by truly listening. This resilient leadership strategy will strengthen your relationships at all levels.
A 2006 Journal of Advanced Nursing study showed that listening to music one hour a day for a week reduced symptoms of depression by 25%. Music, especially classical music, can also serve as a powerful stress-relief tool. Listening to Pachelbel’s famous Canon in D major while preparing a public speech helps avoid anxiety and lowers heart rate and blood pressure, which usually accompany public speaking. Music therapy can also elevate mood, improve immune system function, reduce fatigue and improve self-acceptance in people. Music therapy has been shown to have beneficial health effects on cancer patients, multiple sclerosis patients, and surgical patients.
I use different CD’s in the car. When I need to get Fired Up!, I have energizing, upbeat music that empowers me. When I need to relax, I listen to soft jazz and soothing instrumentals. Try this yourself, especially if you spend hours in the car each day. Make custom playlists on your MP3 player.
Did you know that we start out our life as 99% water, before we are born? By adulthood, we are 70% water and when we die, we are probably 50% water. As Masaru Emoto writes, “We exist mostly as water.” This relates closely with the broader principles outlined in our leadership resilience hub.
Every cell in our body depends on water to function properly. Throughout the day, we lose about 8 cups of water, which must be replenished. A 5% drop in body fluids will cause a 25-30% loss in energy; a 15% drop causes death. It is estimated that 80% of North Americans are suffering from dehydration, which results in:
• energy loss • mental and physical exhaustion • headaches and stiff joints • sleep disturbance • anxiety and stress • kidney stones • cancer and diabetes.1
“The human body produces pain and develops various diseases when it is suffering from drought.” Fereydoon Batmanghelidj, M.D
Can you see now why the old adage, “drink 8 glasses of water a day,” is more important than ever? Often overlooked, water is vital to health, to life and to stress reduction. Try to drink filtered clean water, relieved of toxins like mercury, chlorine, etc, that are often found in public water systems. Never drink water from a bottle that has been sitting in the hot sun all day…that can be a carcinogen. And caffeine drinks actually leach water from your system, so you need to drink more to replace those beverages.
Many times, when we think we are hungry, we are actually thirsty. You usually need to drink a whole 8 oz when you get up in the morning and replenish throughout the day. When you start drinking more water, the changes can be substantial. You often regain energy, vitality and clarity. You will be amazed at the change in how you feel.
1.Beuermann-King, Beverly, “Water : A Necessity in Maintaining Mental Health,” July 20, 2009, www.WorkSmartLiveSmart.com
