Evidence-based leadership resilience, executive presence, burnout prevention, and stress management for leaders under pressure. Keynotes, coaching, and practical systems by Snowden McFall.
Not long ago, I met a gentleman who was downtrodden and beleaguered. He explained to me all the reasons his business was not doing well and declared that he was just no good at that Internet stuff. The stress was impacting his company and his ability to lead. He also went on to say he had avoided a certain market because he was afraid what they might do. He had all the perfect excuses for why he couldn’t succeed. I felt sorry for him and had compassion for him. But ultimately, he made his own choices and he is now sitting in his discontent.
Excuses– we all make them and we all have them. And ultimately, they mean nothing. NOTHING. They are just rationalizations as to why we think we can’t do something.
In this man’s case, he could have taken courses to learn the Internet, hired a college kid to do it for him, or used his own kids. There are so many different ways he could overcome his fear of the Internet but instead, he just gave up.
Don’t give up. And NO MORE EXCUSES!
You can overcome almost any challenge. Ask for help. Take courses. Check and see if your assumptions are true. Network with others in your field and learn how they handle these issues. Just don’t sit around whining. Take action to overcome these challenges.
I once heard Christopher Reeves speak after his debilitating accident. He talked about control and how he had lost so much of it when he became paralyzed. But then he realized the one area he could take control was how he treated his caregivers.
If someone like that can take control, take action and move forward, you can, too.
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Are you one of those people who is chronically late? Who always rushes from place to place and leaves people waiting on you, creating tension before you even start? Do you realize that being late is actually a broken agreement, that it says to the person you are meeting “You are not important enough to me to be on time.” It’s unfair, insulting and unprofessional, and that’s so not like you.
How to Be on Time
• Choose and prioritize. Make the decision to be early instead of late. Set your clock 15 minutes ahead, set your phone alarm to beep you 15 minutes before you have to leave and then 5 minutes so that you make it on time. Use whatever little tricks you have to get out the door in plenty of time.
• Plan on delays, in traffic, in elevators, in subways, etc. Life is like that, so build in a time cushion. I have a meeting this morning that takes me 1/2 hour to get to- without traffic glitches. So I will leave at 45 minutes before to give myself a 15 minute cushion. If you’re early, stay in your car and get things done before you go in. Showing up 5 minutes early is fine, 15 is probably too much.
• Call when you are running behind. Demonstrate respect for the person you are meeting. Give them an accurate assessment of when you will arrive.
• Prep for meetings and events the night before. Have everything you need all set to go. That saves scrambling around at the last minute.
• Have one place in your house for keys, cellphones, etc. Leave your keys there. This prevents last minute rushing and looking for lost items.
Once you make the commitment to be on time, you will find the quality of your relationships improves and you will feel better about yourself, instead of guilt and ashamed. You’re capable and competent, you know how to handle this. Just do it and reap the rewards.
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A new study from Biological Psychiatry shows that women burn fewer calories under stress and are more likely to reach for the wrong food when they are upset. For many people, that means indulging in sugary carbs, which elevates blood sugar, contributes to diabetes and makes you put on belly fat.
This gets further complicated by lack of sleep. If you get less than 7 hours of sleep a night, you are more likely to carry an extra 20 pounds of weight.
The solution: eat breakfast early, much on several small healthy meals throughout the day (think nuts, salads, veggies) and go to bed early. Your overall health will definitely improve.
Believe it or not, yes. New research in the Journal Psychoneuroendocrinology shows results of a study done on mindful meditators. Researchers in the US, Spain, and France report the evidence of specific molecular changes in the body following a period of intensive mindfulness practice.
The study investigated long-term meditators. After 8 hours of mindfulness practice, the meditators showed genetic and molecular differences, including reduction in levels of pro-inflammatory genes, which is related to speedier physical recovery from stress.
The Way You Think DIRECTLY Influences Your Health
Dr. Bruce Lipton says that gene activity can change daily. “If the perception in your mind is reflected in the chemistry of your body, and if your nervous system reads and interprets the environment and then controls the blood’s chemistry, then you can literally change the fate of your cells by altering your thoughts.” (Michael Forrester’s article in Tuned Body)
This is a revolutionary concept for many people, and yet those in the fields of psychology, personal development and self-help have long known that what you put your attention on manifests. Your thoughts have a direct impact on your outcomes. Meditation is one of several stress management strategies shown to help calm the nervous system and support recovery during difficult periods.
Implications for Serious Illness
Dr. Lipton believes that your body will come into alignment with your belief systems. If you are battling cancer and you believe you only have 6 months to live, you probably will. The opposite is also true. If you have a strong belief that you can conquer whatever illness you are battling, that can go a long way towards your recovery.
Bottom line: meditation can help you relieve stress on a genetic level and your thoughts, subconscious or not, have a huge impact on your health.
For more information, go to www. wisc.edu, www.brucelipton.com.
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You may have read about her or seen her on Ellen®. The story of the the young waitress in Concord, NH who paid the bill for two furloughed women from the National Guard. That meant she made only $8 in tips that day, which did not cover the struggling single mother’s gas.
The soldiers posted the kind note Sarah had written them on Facebook® and Sarah ended up on Ellen, where she received an amazing surprise. Ellen gave her a $10,000 reward for her kindness.
Or maybe you read about Adam Warwick, a biologist with the Wildlife Commission, who saved the life of a black bear in Florida, who had been shot with a tranquilizer and almost drowned in the water. Adam fearlessly jumped in and saved the bear, without regard to his personal safety.
There are stories like this everyday, but you probably don’t hear them much because the news focuses on the bad and sensationalist stories. There are real heroes among us. If you don’t think so, check out this video on youtube about 5 heroic kids. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QrT5Iizviw
Acts of kindness give your life meaning and bring incredible joy to your life. Focus on the good you are doing, others are doing and celebrate that.
I recently had lunch with two great women who have achieved substantial success in life and business. However, like so many people, they were taking way too much responsibility for others. As I speak around the country about burn-out, I see this trend over and over. You are NOT responsible for the actions of others. If someone comes into work in a bad mood, it’s not your fault. Nor do you have to fix it. Women in particular are great “fixers.” Stop. Focus your energy and attention on being the best you can be, and let go of worrying about the behavior of others. You can’t control them anyway, and you certainly cannot change them. Let every individual make their own choices. How to Stay Clear of Over-Responsibility
• Don’t Take it Personally If someone is rude, short-tempered or curt with you, recognize it’s about them. They may have been in a fight or lost a loved one or been cut off in traffic. It’s not about YOU.
• Take a Good Look at Your Schedule How much of it is taking on others’ tasks and responsibilities? Have you over-committed? Are you doing the work others should be doing? Stop, renegotiate those commitments, and don’t take on anything that isn’t yours.
• Lighten Up Life is so hard if you continually worry about others’ opinions and problems. Yes, it is appropriate to give back to the community and do service work. But not at the expense of your health and well-being. Focus first on your life, your needs and your issues, and allow yourself to relax and have joy, freedom and peace of mind.
Not long ago, we celebrated my father-in-law’s 80th birthday in Boston. A successful businessman who is mostly retired, he is a vital, vibrant man who has chosen to live life entirely on his own terms. He plays tennis several times a week, square dances regularly, and participates fully in the lives of his children and grandchildren. He has a keen mind, a loving heart, and a positive attitude — and he is an inspiration to me and to everyone who knows him.
What strikes me most is not his accomplishments. It is his deliberate choice of focus.
The Leadership Resilience Connection
The ability to choose your focus, your attitude, and your direction — especially when circumstances invite distraction, negativity, or collapse — is a cornerstone of leadership resilience.
I have coached hundreds of leaders over three decades, and the pattern is consistent: the ones who sustain high performance under pressure are not the ones with the easiest circumstances. They are the ones who have learned to choose deliberately, even when everything around them is pulling toward reaction.
In contrast, I once met a woman who had chosen — entirely unconsciously — to be miserable. She focused on the negative, consistently. When I mentioned that my father had passed away a few years earlier, she declared vehemently that whatever I had experienced, hers was ten times worse. I was not aware it was a competition.
My heart went out to her. She was so attached to her drama that she could not see how completely her focus was shaping her reality.
What You Focus On, You Create More Of
This is not positive thinking for its own sake. It is neuroscience. Research on stress and performance consistently shows that leaders who default to threat-focused thinking — ruminating on what is wrong, what could go wrong, what has gone wrong — activate stress responses that impair decision-making, narrow perception, and accelerate burnout.
Leaders who practice deliberate focus — not denial, but conscious redirection — sustain clearer thinking, stronger relationships, and more sustainable performance over time.
We can all get caught up in our drama and our problems. But is that truly where you want to put your attention? Because what you focus on, you create more of.
I would rather create more clarity, confidence, and resilience. How about you?
Three Choices That Separate Resilient Leaders from Depleted Ones
After 30 years of coaching executives and senior leaders, I have observed that the leaders who sustain high performance over time make three deliberate choices that others do not:
They choose what they pay attention to. Not everything that demands your attention deserves it. Resilient leaders develop the discipline to distinguish between what is urgent and what is important — and to protect their focus accordingly. This is not avoidance. It is strategic attention management.
They choose how they interpret pressure. The same organizational challenge, the same difficult conversation, the same quarter of missed targets — two leaders can experience these identically and respond completely differently based on how they interpret what is happening. Leaders who frame pressure as information rather than threat make better decisions and recover faster.
They choose to invest in recovery. Sustained high performance is not about working harder. It is about building the habits of regulation, rest, and restoration that allow you to bring your full capacity to the work that matters most. This is the element most senior leaders sacrifice first — and the one that costs them most over time.
These three choices are not personality traits. They are learnable skills. They are exactly what leadership resilience coaching is designed to build.
The Choice in Front of You Right Now
“To win or lose, To love or hate, To try or quit, To risk or withdraw, To accelerate or hesitate, To dream or stagnate, To open or close, To succeed or fail, To live or die — Every one of these starts with a CHOICE.”
— Snowden McFall
My father-in-law at 80 is not remarkable because of what he has accumulated. He is remarkable because of what he has chosen — consistently, deliberately, over a lifetime. He chose engagement over withdrawal. Vitality over decline. Presence over distraction.
Every leader faces that same set of choices, not once but daily. Under pressure, in difficulty, at the edge of depletion — the choice of focus is still available to you. It is, in fact, the one thing that is always available to you.
All of us have intuitive feelings- those gut instincts which warn you about someone or something. Over the years, I have found that as we cultivate and appreciate our intuition, it can be a great source of wisdom and knowledge.
At one time, my husband had 120+ employees. Whenever his management team hired a new key employee, I heard something about the main applicants. In the past decade, my gut warned me about three different individuals. One created significant disturbance on the job. Another left after only a few months. And the third never even showed up to work.
My gut had been correct and now both my husband and I honor it. Trust your intuition, act on it at work and at home.
Even if all you say is” Something just doesn’t feel right about this- what do you think?” you give voice to your concerns and can often prevent serious problems later. Trust your gut.
“Cathy, Eric and their son Michael Keesling had retired early after handling a flooded basement and setting up a gasoline pump to empty it. Their beloved mellow cat, Winnie, sat in the window enjoying the sounds of the evening. All of sudden, Michael passed out in the hallway. Cathy and Eric soon lost consciousness as well, because of a gas leak. The normally gentle Winnie sprang on Cathy, pulled her hair and yowled in her ear to wake her up. Cathy kept blacking out, but Winnie insisted. Finally, Cathy called 911 and the family was rescued. If Winnie had waited 5 more minutes, they would all be dead!”
Pets are amazing healing agents and powerful lifesavers. Trained dogs today can detect bladder cancer by sniffing urine and fire dogs can identify arsonists by smelling gasoline on their hands. Service pets save the lives of their owners every day. They are also great stress relievers.
One study cited on WebMD found that 48 stockbrokers who adopted a pet had lower blood pressure readings under stress than non-pet owners. Another study found that those suffering from serious diseases, such AIDS or cancer, are far less likely to be depressed if they have a strong tie to a pet.
According to the the University of Minnesota’s Stroke Research Center, simply owning a cat can cut the risk of heart attack. After studying subjects for 10 years, those who owned a cat were 40% less likely to die from heart attacks.
Pet ownership:
• lowers blood pressure • prevents depression • reduces incidence of stroke • helps improve physical activity • helps people be more social • reduces loneliness.
So if you are battling stress like 80% of Americans, consider adopting a pet at a shelter. It could save two lives- yours and theirs.
One of the most common questions I hear as a professional speaker is how to overcome nervousness and anxiety when presenting.
The answer is simple and reliable: preparation. When leaders prepare deliberately, confidence follows. Anxiety fades. Presence strengthens.
Four Ways to Prepare for Great Presentations
1. Prepare Your Material
Know your message thoroughly. Research your topic. Understand your facts. Most importantly, develop meaningful stories. Stories create connection and help audiences remember what matters.
2. Prepare Your Audience
Learn who you are speaking to before you arrive. What challenges are they facing? What wins are they proud of? When possible, reference their reality so they feel seen and respected. Participation builds engagement and reduces distance between speaker and audience.
3. Prepare the Space
Familiarize yourself with the room and technology. Ensure sightlines are clear and audio works properly. Simplicity matters. Slides should support your message, not replace it. Worksheets and interaction often create far more impact than presentation decks.
4. Prepare Yourself
Practice out loud. Get feedback. Do not memorize, but be fluent. Allow space for humor and humanity. When leaders handle small mistakes with ease, audiences relax and trust them more. Dress in a way that reflects confidence and professionalism, and show up fully present.
These preparation habits do more than improve presentations. They strengthen executive presence, communication clarity, and leadership effectiveness in high-stakes moments. Explore how leaders develop these skills at Communication and Executive Presence.
Preparation turns nervous energy into grounded confidence. When you prepare well, you do not just deliver information. You lead.
Not long ago, I met a gentleman who was downtrodden and beleaguered. He explained to me all the reasons his business was not doing well and declared that he was just no good at that Internet stuff. The stress was impacting his company and his ability to lead. He also went on to say he had avoided a certain market because he was afraid what they might do. He had all the perfect excuses for why he couldn’t succeed. I felt sorry for him and had compassion for him. But ultimately, he made his own choices and he is now sitting in his discontent.
