Category: Leadership Resilience

**Are Your No’s Holding You Back?**

How Often Do Say Yes to Possible Success?

How many times a day do you say no to opportunities, invitations, assignments, challenges, chances to advance your career, things that would stretch you out of of your comfort zone? If you say “no” too often, you could be holding yourself back.

Why Shonda Rhimes Made a Year of Yes

learn to say yesFor those of you who don’t know Shonda, she is the sensationally successful writer and creator of the ABC Thursday tv night hits, “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Scandal,” “Private Practice,” and “How to Get Away with Murder.”  For one woman to dominate a night of network TV is extraordinary.  For a woman of color to do this is amazing and wonderful. And she created starring characters who were all female.  So she has truly been ground-breaking in her industry.

But until a few years ago, she stifled her happiness and her whole life success by saying no too often. No to big interviews, no to speeches, no to invitations to smooze with high powered people in her industry, no to socializing period. And it hurt her, in more ways that one.

An introvert, Shonda thought it was enough to write her scripts and raise her daughters.   She kept turning down chances to really get out there and make a difference. One day her oldest sister said, “You never say yes to anything.”  And that really impacted Shonda.  So she decided to say “yes” for a solid year.

When her alma mater, Dartmouth, called her to do a graduation speech, she said yes. She was terrified, but she did it anyway, and was candid, funny, and effective.  She went on Jimmy Kimmel (not quite live.)  More and more opportunities emerged for her to inspire others and share her experiences, and she leaned into them.  And her life changed in a very good way.  She never had realized how miserable she had been as an isolated introvert.  And now that she was interacting with the world, connecting with others in meaningful ways besides her writing, her life became fuller, richer, happier.   So much so that she decided to extend her year of yes into a life of yes.

How to Change Your Life with More “Yes”

•  I’m not talking about saying yes to everyone who asks you to do their work or handle their problems.   Instead, look at the times in your life when someone has invited you to do something out of your comfort zone, where you felt you weren’t worthy and you shrunk back and said no.  Next time, say “yes.”  Next time, stretch and experience something new.

• Emulate those you most admire.  Where do your mentors and role models go?  What events do they attend?  What kinds of conferences do they go to? Consider doing some of those things.  Consider attending an event that is way out of your comfort zone.  Get into Wonder Woman pose (those of you who have heard my speeches know what I am referring to,) psych yourself up and act like you deserve to be there. You do.

• Take on new challenges at work, ones you’re not quite sure of.  And then learn everything you can to be a smash success at them.  If you need to ask for help, do so.
Show them what you are truly capable of.  And show yourself.

You have so many gifts, talents and abilities that you don’t even acknowledge.  Start saying “yes” to yourself and see how your life, love, joy and abundance expand.

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Can Yoga Cure the Effects of Aging?

“Yoga is invigoration in relaxation.  Freedom in routine. Confidence through self-control.  Energy within and energy without.” Ymber Delecto

yoga from Stress Express by Snowden McFallThree bad car accidents over 20 years have left me with some tension, imbalance and misalignment in my neck and shoulders.  Chiropractic helped a great deal, but what really healed me and continues to is yoga.  Almost every day, I get up and do yoga stretches and postures.  The spinal twist regularly realigns my neck bones after shifting them in sleep.  Tree posture helps me keep my balance and I even do it while shaving my legs.  Warrior 2 helps me stay strong and plank firm my arms and belly.  I am in better shape than I was in my early twenties- all due to yoga.

Practiced for over 5000 years, yoga is a powerful and popular form of exercise that over 11 million Americans practice regularly. Last week was International Yoga Day, with good reason.

Is Yoga a Cure for Aging?

A study in Oxidative Medicine and Cellular Longevity found that 12 weeks of yoga slowed cellular aging!  Yoga , breathing and mediation was done for 12 weeks, 90- minutes a day 5 days a week.  Cellular damage was reversed and depression decreased.  A new study in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that a 3 month yoga retreat reduced inflammation and stress in the body. People who attended felt less anxious and stressed, and inflammation decreased.

Most of us cannot take three months to do a yoga retreat, but what we can do is incorporate yoga more in our daily lives.

The Center for Integrative Medicine of Thomas Jefferson University found that a 1 hour session of yoga lowered cortisol (the stress hormone) in participants with no previous yoga experience, even seven days later. Practicing yoga for 20 minutes increases your focus and ability to learn, far better than aerobic exercise.

Yoga:

• increases flexibility through stretching
• improves posture and tones muscles
• promotes better breathing
• massages all internal organs of body
• increases lubrication of tendons, joints, ligaments
• flushes toxins out of the body
• reduces depression, alcoholism and PTSD
• provides a deep sense of relaxation and boosts moods

How to Incorporate Yoga Into Your Life

• go to a beginner yoga class and tell the instructor you are new.
• use a yoga video from Gaiam or Yoga Journal and start at the beginner level.  Start slow and be gentle with yourself.  If something hurts, don’t do it.  Go at your own pace.  Watch Rodney Yee- his videos are terrific.
• start stretching regularly.  This will make a big difference for you- guaranteed.
• incorporate meditation of some sort into your daily practice.  There are lots of great meditation apps.

Years ago, I watched a Dr. Oz segment on aging. All the exercises demonstrated that helped with aging were yoga postures!  So start now and revitalize your body!

 

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Have You Reached an Upper Limit on Your Leadership Capacity?

Your next opportunity to be fired up!How Often Do You Unknowingly Sabotage Yourself with An Upper Limit?

Many leaders unknowingly sabotage their own success when they approach a new level of responsibility, visibility, or influence. This phenomenon is often referred to as an upper limit—an internal comfort threshold formed by past experiences, beliefs, or conditioning.

When leaders begin to expand beyond that threshold, increased pressure can trigger self-sabotaging behaviors that undermine clarity, confidence, and resilience. This pattern directly impacts leadership performance under sustained stress, which is why understanding upper limits is essential to building long-term leadership resilience.

As leaders expand beyond their comfort zones, internal resistance often appears. This resistance can take the form of worry, overthinking, procrastination, conflict, missed opportunities, or physical exhaustion. These behaviors interrupt momentum and pull leaders back into familiar patterns, even when growth is available.

In leadership roles, this can show up as hesitation during decision-making, avoidance of visibility, strained communication, or emotional reactivity under pressure.

Why Do We Sabotage Ourselves and Put An Upper Limit on Love and Success?

In his book The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks describes four common belief-based barriers that surface as people approach their upper limits. These beliefs often operate subconsciously and are triggered during periods of growth and increased responsibility:

  1. Feeling Fundamentally Flawed or Bad
  2. I Might End Up Alone or Be Disloyal to My Family
  3. Success and Abundance Might Be a Bigger Burden
  4. Fear of outshining someone important, often a sibling, peer, or partner

So we sabotage our success with worry, criticism, blame, deflecting, arguing, getting sick or injured,lying, etc.  All of these make us feel upset or bad about ourselves and quick burst the bubble of expansion and excitement.

The good news is you can learn to stop those destructive behaviors, expand beyond your upper limits and start embracing more love, abundance, success and happiness.

I highly recommend you read the book and step into a greater vision of what your life can be.   Hendricks talks about living in your Zone of Genius, and allow yourself to feel good all the time and have everything go smoothly in your life all the time.  It is possible.  Each of us has an incredible reservoir of wisdom, talent and resilience, which enable us to do much more than we think we can. For leaders, these patterns often surface during inflection points, expanded scope of responsibility, greater visibility, or sustained decision-making pressure, which is why they have such a direct impact on long-term resilience and performance.

How Leaders Can Move Beyond Their Upper Limits

One effective way to interrupt upper-limit behavior is through awareness and intentional redirection. When you notice worry, tension, or self-criticism arising:

  • Pause and redirect your attention to something grounding or calming.
  • Ask yourself, “What new level of responsibility or opportunity might be emerging right now?”
  • Allow yourself to remain open and steady rather than reactive.
  • Release the thought and return your focus to purposeful action.

So much of our success requires mindfulness.  The more we pay attention to our thoughts, the more we can create greater love, success, joy and abundance.

Leadership resilience is not about eliminating pressure. It is about expanding your capacity to operate effectively as pressure increases. By recognizing and moving beyond internal upper limits, leaders strengthen emotional steadiness, clarity, and sustained performance.

If this pattern has been showing up in your leadership, strengthening resilience isn’t just about mindset — it often benefits from structured support and guided practice. To see how leaders build greater emotional steadiness, clarity, and decision-making capacity under pressure, explore our Leadership Resilience Coaching program.

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Are Your Emails Alienating People?

Do Your Emails Come Across as Rude?

Apparently, how you start and end your emails makes a big difference.  You may think that sending a quick, curt response without saying Hello or Thank You is the best way to work.  But that’s not true.

Data scientists at Boomerang reviewed some 350,000 emails and found that tone in emails has a big impact on whether the recipient responds.

Here are the takeaways on sending emails:

• Start with a friendly, informal tone, and always say “Hello, Hey or Hi.”  They get a 15% greater response rate than “Dear.” Surprisingly, “Hey” is the most effective!

• End your emails with some kind of gratitude, like thanks, thank you, or In appreciation.  Using “Best” is the worst way to end an email (Woops- I’ve been guilty of this.)

• Be very careful with CC’s and group emails.  Nothing irritates people more than seeing everyone’s trivial response to a non-essential email.

• Try not to be too brief.  Always include something warm and friendly.  Something like, “Hi Bill, I understand. Thanks,” is more effective than “Got it” which may come across as sarcastic, according to Travis Bradberry.

• Avoid using Urgent or ASAP unless you’ve called them and not been able to reach them. Instead of using those words, say why it is urgent in your subject line: Ex: “Critical deadline for ad is at noon.  Please respond ASAP.”

• Never use email to berate someone in an email.  If you file a customer complaint, be specific and accurate.  Use positive language and suggest alternatives that will assist, not condemn them other person. “It would have been helpful if…”  “A good customer service agent does…”  If you are correcting am employee, talk to them in person.

You can make all your emails more successful and effective with these tips.  And if you have found something else that works especially well, please write me at orders@firedupnow.com

Snowden

Update to Our Privacy Policy

As you probably know by now, the European Union’s General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) has introduced new standards for emails.  We have updated our privacy policy, which can can see here.  We value you so much as a reader and an individual and we have never sold or given away our mailing list to anyone or any company and we never will.  We value you too much to ever do that.  Please consider this your notice of update.

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Could a Cold Shower Prevent Depression?

cold showersCold Showers Have Amazing Benefits

Cold showers and ice baths?  How could those help me?  About a month ago, I attended a 5 day workshop with one of the world’s leading personal development coaches and speakers, Brendon Burchard.  He coaches Oprah and her team.

In sharing various techniques for maintaining energy and vitality, he explained how he took ice baths every night during the training, to reduce his inflammation and revitalize.  He said it made him feel twenty years younger.

Anthony Robbins plunges in a 57 degree pool for one minute every morning.
Famous athletes and performers like Lebron James and Usher use the same technique after events.

A bit horrified and intrigued, I decided to investigate.  I must say, I’ve been taking cold showers for a month and they really make a difference.  There’s no question that you have to get used to them, and some days, all I want is a hot shower.  But even then, I finish with the bracing cold to get my energy up.  It works.  It takes a while, but it works.  Here’s why:

How Cold Showers and Ice Baths Heal Your Body

1. They reduce inflammation.  Most all of us have it, believe it or not.  Pain, soreness, tense muscles, illness- all of that usually has inflammation associated with it.  Just like you put ice on a swollen ankle, cold water and ice baths lower inflammation levels significantly.

2. They get your circulation going, really.  Ask anyone who’s done the Polar Bear dip in the middle of winter into freezing water.  Cold showers and ice baths boost circulation and reboot your system.  They help you be clearer and more alert.

3. They clear out lactic acid and toxins in your body, according to Dr. Ben Kim.  LeBron James says his legs feel much better and fresher the day after.

4. And yes- they do relive symptoms of depression. Cryotherapy releases endorphins, the feel good hormones, and creates an analgesic effect.

Check with your doctor before you start a cold water  shower or ice bath regimen.  Im still not ready for an ice bath, but I do derive great value from my cold showers.  Try it yourself.  You may well find that it becomes one of the most valuable tools to start your day.

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photo from Aweber library

How to Have Greater Influence

“We’re not who we say we are, we’re not who we want to be.  We are the sum of the influence and impact that we have in our lives on others.” Carl Sagan
 
How to have greater influenceWhen I was in second grade, I made it to the finals of the school poetry contest.  And I lost. I was devastated, but what got me through were kind words of encouragement from my second grade teacher, Mrs. Monroe.  She believed in me. Seven years later, when I received the Headmasters Award at that same school, she hugged me and said, “I always knew you were special.”  Influence grows through how leaders communicate, encourage, and model behavior, making it a core dimension of executive presence and effective communication. Mrs. Monroe had enormous influence in my life and she made a big difference.  You have that same ability.
 

Tips To Create Greater Influence

 
• Ask for help with something.  You never know whether you have influence until you ask for help. Get better at asking for specific assistance and at phrasing your requests. Benjamin Franklin recommended asking an enemy for a favor. He believed it would turn the tide of how they felt about you.
 
• Set a tone for good.  No matter what is going on in your company or organization, highlight the positive.  Research shows that when people focus on solutions to problems, they innovate and overcome the paralysis of negativity. They are 20% more creative in developing answers to issues.
 
• Start the day with positive input.  Research done by Michelle Gielan and Shawn Achor uncovered that just 3 minutes of negative news in the morning ups the odds of your having a bad day by 27%! Give your team, your employees and co-workers good news in the morning and set their tone for success.
 
• Start each conversation with something positive. This is especially effective with doubters and naysayers.  Ask them what good things are happening in their lives. It changes their thinking,
 
• Champion others.  Support their causes and initiatives. Give credit where it’s due.  Encourage others.  You never know the impact you will have.
 
• Teach people how to think and how to deal with today’s pressures. Brendon Burchard, in his new book, High Performance Habits, suggests you influence through questions like “What do you think about…?”  “What would happen if we tried…?” “How should we approach?” “What ideas do you have about..?”  Get others thinking and contributing.  Listen to their feedback and don’t shut them down.  Thank them and consider what they have said.
 
• Challenge others to grow. Whether it’s your employees, family members or friends, ask them what their next steps are, how they can get better at what they’re doing, how they can treat others better, how they can improve.
 
• Be a good role model.  Think about those who have been role models for you.  How can you be a role model for others?  What can you do differently? How can you live at a higher standard of excellence and add value to others?
 
Influence is progressive and cumulative. By believing in others, sharing a positive perspective, encouraging them and yourself to be better people, you  influence more than you can imagine.  Demonstrate excellence and others will emulate you.  Learn from others and share your wisdom.  Champion others and add value to their lives. You will absolutely have an impact.

Bounce Back from Trauma

Hurricane Irene brought trauma to many in Florida

Restoring Stability After Emotional Shock

Trauma can arise from many experiences: natural disasters, sudden loss, violence, accidents, or deeply personal events. Emotional shock does not always resolve quickly. Sometimes it resurfaces unexpectedly, even years later.

While professional support is often essential, there are stabilizing actions that can help restore balance in the moment.

Practical Steps to Regain Stability

  • Pause normal obligations when possible. Protect your energy and reduce external demands.
  • Reach out to someone you trust. Speaking your experience aloud reduces isolation.
  • Engage in physical movement to discharge stress from the body.
  • Practice mindful breathing, prayer, or quiet reflection to steady your nervous system.
  • Rest. Sleep allows emotional processing and neurological recovery.
  • Limit exposure to violent or distressing media while you are vulnerable.
  • Write down what you are grateful for to gently shift perspective.
  • Reconnect with supportive people and environments that restore a sense of safety.

Trauma responses are not weakness. They are physiological and psychological reactions to overwhelming events.

If trauma symptoms persist, intensify, or interfere with daily functioning, seeking professional therapeutic support is important.

For leaders navigating stress under pressure, strengthening structured recovery practices can reduce the long-term impact of emotional overload. Explore ways to prevent burnout, reinforce sustainable habits through the Leadership Resilience System, and apply practical stress management strategies.

Healing requires gentleness, patience, and support.

©2026, 2018, Snowden McFall, All Rights Reserved You may reprint with full credit and permission.

5 Out-of-the-Box Ways Leaders Can Cut Stress and Stay Effective Under Pressure


Stress is not just a personal issue. It is a performance issue. In high-responsibility roles, unmanaged stress quietly erodes focus, decision-making, communication, and resilience.

Over $300 billion is lost annually in American business due to stress-related productivity loss, absenteeism, and illness. More than 80 percent of doctor visits are stress-related. The question for leaders is not whether stress exists, but how to manage it without sacrificing effectiveness.

Here are five practical, science-backed ways to reduce stress that are simple, memorable, and easy to apply in real life.

5 Out of the Box Ways to Reduce Stress

flowers cut stress1. 1. Flowers in the workplace
Flowers do more than decorate a space. Studies show that women who receive flowers unexpectedly experience increased happiness for up to three days. The presence of flowers is also linked to reduced anxiety and increased creativity, whether the flowers were received personally or simply present in the environment. (Health.com)


2.  Listening to music 1 hour a day a week reduced symptoms of depression by 25%. Music, especially classical music, can cut stress dramatically. Anxious about an upcoming meeting or project? Listening to Pachelbel’s famous Canon in D helps avoid anxiety and lowers heart rate and blood pressure. Music can also elevate mood, improve immune system function, reduce fatigue and improve self-acceptance in people. (Journal of Advanced Nursing study)

3. Screaming kids in the car? Vanilla oil soothes restless children. It has a positive impact on the limbic center of the brain, which controls emotion, according to Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. A few drops on the wrists of a child can transform a cranky, whiny child into one who is happy and laughing. Try this on your next road tri .

4.  Eat walnuts to cut your stress and treat depression. Harvard Science Review published a study citing that walnuts are powerful antidepressants!  Pistachio nuts cut inflammation, lower cholesterol levels, and improve your body’s response to stress. Just 1.5 ounces of pistachios provides a boost of energy and can slow the absorption of carbohydrates when eaten together.

5. Soak your legs to cut your stress and sleep better. A study from the Journal of Physiological Anthropology found that women who soaked their legs up to their knees in hot water for 30 minutes slept better than those who did neither. No time for a bath? Try running warm water on your wrists.

These small stress-reduction practices matter because resilience is built through daily habits, not one-time interventions. Leaders who sustain performance under pressure learn to recognize stress early and respond intentionally instead of reactively.

For a deeper look at how leaders build resilience, manage stress, and maintain clarity under pressure, explore the
Leadership Resilience Hub, which connects stress management, communication, and leadership effectiveness into a practical system.

 

“Stress spelled backwards is desserts.”

— Loretta Laroche

We live in a stressful world, but stress does not have to run the show. Small, intentional actions practiced consistently can dramatically improve energy, clarity, and resilience.

Try one or two of these this week and notice the difference.

Snowden

photo credit:©Valerie Titoval/Dreamstime.com

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Become Your Best Self

Lincoln had a tremendous capacity for personal growth – more than any other American President.  Henry Louis Gates

Two friends helping towards personal growthAre You Who You Want to Be? The Personal Growth Opportunity

If you died tomorrow, what regrets would you have?  Were you the person you wanted to be for your spouse, your friends, your children, your co-workers,

and your employees?  There’s always time to change and for personal growth, and nothing works better than the present to start.

How to Develop Yourself

• Accept and Forgive I learned the hard way many years ago that righteous indignation against people who have wronged you will only hurt you. It certainly backfired for me.  Once I learned to accept what had happened, forgive myself and forgive others, I experienced a freedom I had never known.  Your don’t forgive for the other person, you forgive for yourself. Try it.

• Stop Faking  So many of us have been plagued by the fraud syndrome, where we tried to be someone we weren’t. Have you ever spent time with someone, only to discover they were nothing like who you thought they were?  Many people put up a facade, but it always falls away at some point and the real person shows up.  Why waste all that time and energy?  Just be yourself. Always.

• Work on Your Health – That means every aspect of your health, emotional, mental, physical, spiritual.  Develop yourself.  I have found that exercising nearly every day has made a huge difference in my emotional well-being. Meditation and prayer are important aspects of my life.  I continue to take courses on a variety of subjects to be learn and grow.  You can do the same.

• Demonstrate Integrity  Let your word be your bond.  When you make agreements or commitments to others, keep them.  Do the same with yourself. Be honest in your interactions and demand that of those close to you.

All you need to do is look at Lance  Armstrong to know how destructive  deception can be. Only through open, integral communication can real connections grow and develop.

I believe in you.  You are already terrific. Now take your personal growth to the next level.

Snowden

A few blog posts you may find of interest:

Are You an Authentic Leader?
Who are You Blaming?
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Image from Brendon Burchard’s new book
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How to Release a Bad Mood

 Do You Know How to Release a Bad Mood?

There are over 7 billion people on earth and you’re going to let 1 person ruin your day?

Yes, I am a motivational speaker and people see me as a positive, enthusiastic individual.  But I am also human and yes, I do have bad moods.

release a bad moodNot too long ago, I woke up groggy, had a small argument with my husband, which is very rare, tried to go work out but found the equipment all in use (3rd time this week,) learned someone had broken an agreement which impacts our taxes, and so I was angry and frustrated.  ARRGGHH**!!!

But I remembered hearing Christopher Reeves speak after his accident.  He said that although everything in his life was out of his control, the one thing he could control was his attitude, the way he treated his caregivers. Powerful.

 

5 Ways to Get Out of a Bad Mood 

• Get physical in a good way So I couldn’t work out at the gym.  I came home, jumped on my rebounder, turned on an exercise show on cable, did my lunges, and pushups and felt better. Exercise is a GREAT way to release upset and stress.

• Write it all down and burn it. I spent about 10-15 minutes writing all my frustrations down, free flowing without censoring anything, writing everything that came into my head.  Then I burned it! AHHH- release!

• Call a Friend I called a girlfriend and vented.  She is a wonderful support system and we do this for each other.  Sharing upset often releases it.

• Find Good Things to Look Forward To. I did some research on upcoming jazz shows, places to go ballroom dancing and comedy clubs. Laughter is a great healing agent.

•Meditate I’m a huge believer in meditation, and I know from my research how much it decreases stress. If you don’t know how, try deep breathing with your eyes closed and focusing on a beautiful scene in nature.

I’m much better now, thanks to these tools in my toolkit. Let me know what works for you.  Have a great weekend.

Snowden

A few blog posts you may find of interest:

Anger into Action
Clean Up Your Emotional Junk
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Image from Brendon Burchard’s new book
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