Category: Leadership Resilience

Kindness : Good for the Giver & the Receiver

You Can Touch Lives with One Small Acts of Kindness

It’s World Kindness Day and that’s a great reminder that being kind can change lives, in small but powerful ways.  Indeed, research shows that kindness is great for both giver and receiver and it tends to multiply and expand. Resilient leaders look for opportunities to give back, to experience satisfaction in the face of our daily stresses.

I remember being in line in the grocery store and a woman and I chatted about a specific cookbook for sale.  She looked at it longingly and said her children would love making those recipes.  I saw her count out small change for her limited groceries, and decided to buy her the cookbook. She was stunned, but very grateful.  I told her to have a wonderful time with her children – that thinking about it made me smile.  It made us both feel good.

Kindness is also good for your health.  Here’s how:

  1. Empathy towards strangers increases the oxytocin (feel good hormone) in your body by 47%! (Claremont Graduate University study)  This lowers your blood pressure and helps your heart function better.
  2. Being kind at least once a week increases your happiness.
  3. Kindness and empathy reduce inflammation in your body, by its impact on your vagus nerve.
  4. Kindness is contagious.  People tend to pay acts of kindness forward, such as when someone pays for your toll on the highway.  The tendency is you pay for the next person, etc., etc.
    A poignant example in the NE Journal of Medicine: a 28 year old donated a kidney at a clinic.   It created a ripple effect where the loved ones of kidney recipients donated one of theirs to others waiting for a kidney. The ‘domino effect’,  spanned the entire United States, with 10 people receiving a new kidney thanks to that anonymous donor.

Here are a few ways you can demonstrate kindness:

Pay for someone’s parking meter, buy someone a cup of coffee, put a post it note with kind words on someone’s desk, sweep your neighbor’s walkway, give sincere and specific praise, carry an elderly person’s groceries to their car, let someone into traffic, cuddle animals at a shelter, say thank you to the maintenance crew, smile.  There are infinite ways to be kind to others, and it can make your day as well as theirs.

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Boost Your Productivity in 3 Quick Steps

Productviity Clock from Stress ExpressDistractions are Everywhere; Productivity Suffers

In screaming color, moving fast, making noise, distractions fly across your computer screen, your phone, your office such that it’s tough to concentrate and maximize your productivity.  In fact, new research from the book, Hyperfocus by Chris Bailey, says most people focus on one thing for 40 seconds and get distracted.  Then it takes you 50% longer to get back to work and between 25-27 minutes to return to thoughtful concentration. Learning to protect focus and attention is a foundational part of leadership resilience, especially in a world designed to fragment it.

So how do you turn off the distractions and amp up resilience under pressure?

  1. Psychologist Larry Rosen says most of us check our phones every 15 minutes. Change your settings on your phone so that everything is grayscale.  The phone is much less distracting without color and movement happening.  Also- when you really need to focus, turn off your phone completely and turn off any alerts on your computer.  60-90 minutes of uninterrupted work means you are getting things done. Productivity goes up!

The internet can hurt your productivity

2. Disconnect at night- say between 8 pm and whenever you wake up.  Turn your phone off or put in airplane mode.  You will focus more on your family and loved ones, and you will sleep better without the blue light wreaking havoc with your brain.

3. Track your time for a whole week.  Record somehow- whether using an app or a timesheet for every 10 minutes of every day.  You’ll probably discover you’re spending way too much time on social media and not nearly enough time with your loved ones.  One woman discovered she spent much too much time cleaning her house and got an automated vacuum. Really study your sheet at the end of the week.  Are you doing what you want to do in your day?  What could you eliminate to boost your productivity and also have more time for fun?

Focus means letting go of distractions. It requires awareness, discipline and choice.  Years ago, Barbara Sher had a phrase that I love: “I’m choosing between the best and the best in my life.”  So not choosing between the bad and the good, or the good and the better, but the best and the best.  You can make the same choice.

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Is Lack of Trust Costing You Business?

“Lack of trust is your biggest business expense.” David Horsager

“Trust, Not Money, is the Currency of Business and Life”

lack of trust creates stressThink about it.  What products do you buy consistently?  Why?  Because you trust that they will deliver their promise every time.  And what happens when they don’t?  You change products and they lose your business.  The same is true for everything in your life.  When someone you respect breaks agreements with you, you no longer trust them.

Growing your trust edge is one of the best ways to get more business, grow your clientele, sustainable leadership performance, and improve your life.  So how do you do that?

In his book, the Trust Edge, David Horsager describes 8 qualities of trustworthiness, all of which can be developed and honed.  These include:

• Clarity- people trust the clear and mistrust the ambiguous

• Compassion– people trust those who demonstrate caring for others

• Character– people value those who do the right thing rather than the easy thing

• Competency – people have confidence in those who stay current and knowledgeable in their industry

• Commitment– people believe in those who are reliable and steadfast through adversity

• Connection– people want to follow and do business with those they like and have a relationship with

• Contribution– people want to work with those who get results

• Consistency– people love to see small things done consistently; it builds trust.

As you work on growing your business, spend time thinking about how you can develop each of these qualities, both in yourself and in your culture.  The way you train your employees in how they deliver goods and services can make a huge difference.  Do they meet their deadlines consistently?  Do they treat others well with compassion and caring?  Do they have clarity about exactly what they’re supposed to do for whom by when? Do they know what they’re doing?  All of these qualities are key to building trust internally and externally. You can cultivate greater trust in your organization and it will pay off in countless ways.

“Trust multiplies influence and impact.” David Horsager

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Avoid 5 of The Biggest Public Speaking Mistakes

Don’t Be That Speaker

Fire up your public speaking skills
© Can Stock Photo / AndreyPopov
Conferences, workshops, company meetings.  We’ve all been to presentations that did not fulfill expectations.  The speaker doesn’t deliver, his content falls flat, and everyone is disappointed, feeling like they wasted their time. When you’re asked to present for whatever reason, don’t be that speaker. Strong presentation skills are essential for leaders, executives, and professionals who need to influence, inspire, and communicate with clarity under pressure.

Here are the key mistakes to avoid in public speaking

  1. Being Boring.  There’s nothing worse than a dry, monotone speaker who has zero enthusiasm.  Avoid that by getting excited about your content, by varying your pitch, speech rate, volume and vocal tone.  Your energy and passion is contagious: show it and fire up your audience.
2. Relying on AV.  “Death by PowerPoint,” means standing there and reading your slides.  If you must use slides, have big photos and very few words.  Use funny slides. Videos are great, but audio can fail. Let your material stand on its own. 3. Letting Anxiety Win  Everyone gets nervous- effective speakers convert that adrenaline into steady energy and confident presence. Instead of giving into the nerves, do this: • Breathe deeply from the belly • Swallow rather than clearing your throat • Shrug your shoulder and roll your neck • Smile and realize everyone wants you to succeed • Practice and “own” your message • Visualize a successful outcome – Believe in the value you offer 4. No eye contact and no smiles.  Audiences don’t trust speakers who won’t look them in the eye.  Smiling at people shows you’re confident. 5. No audience involvement.  Today’s audiences have very short attention spans, and if they can look at their phones while you’re speaking, they will.  Engage them every 10 minutes.  Use dyads, small groups, ask questions, do surveys, play games. Get them on their feet engaging with your material. Sooner or later, almost every professional has to do public speaking.  Know your content well, practice, get the nerves out before you go on, and smile.  Get everyone involved, having fun, and they are sure to remember you and your message – in a good way. Snowden has delivered professional keynote talks and corporate presentations for more than 25 years, and also works with leaders who want to strengthen their presentation confidence and audience impact. Contact her at 904-200-6995 or email her at orders@firedupnow.com to schedule your session.
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Coping with Natural Disasters

Overcoming Fear and Worry and Moving Into Action

hurricanes and stressUnfortunately, with global warming, we live in a time when natural disasters occur more and more frequently, whether it’s the recent fires in California, or the pending hurricanes all over the globe.  At times like this, it’s easy to go into fear and panic, neither of which will help you cope effectively. Staying calm, focused, and action-oriented during crisis is a hallmark of leadership resilience, especially when fear and uncertainty are high.

Here’s what you can do about natural disasters.

  • Get as much legitimate information as possible but do not get glued to TV updates.  The news thrives on crises and catastrophes.  But the more you watch, the more upset you will get.  Stay informed and then get moving.
  • Be proactive rather than reactive.  Pack emergency bags, even if the storms, fires, etc. seem far away. Include passports, documents, medicines, a week’s worth of clothes.Be ready to move as soon as you need to.
  • Take photos of all important papers, wills, documents, insurance policies, passports, etc. and send them to the cloud. Do the same thing with children and pets’ medical records.  Put harnesses on your animals and have leashes nearby- even cats.  Put id on your pets.
  • If you have to leave, take your pets with you or they may very well die.  They are part of your family- don’t neglect them. Give them Rescue Remedy or Homeopet anxiety drops in their water. If you’re scared, they’re scared. Bring toys and food, litter and doggies bags with you, and any medicine.
  • Listen to officials.  If they give you a mandatory evacuation, do it.  People who don’t and stay behind create added stress for first responders.
  • Reach out to loved ones and tell them you love them.  If you are in a danger zone, let them know you are ok.  Post that you are safe on social media. Have a central number to call into.
  • Don’t let fear take over.  Pray, meditate, ask for help, assist others.  This is not the time to panic. This is the time to stay calm and take necessary action.
  • Remember that your life is what’s important.  Yes- we value our homes and material possessions.  But your life is what matters, and the lives of those you love.
  • Check on single people, particularly elderly neighbors and be sure they are ok.
  • Stay positive and upbeat, focus on gratitude and be a positive force in your area.What you focus on manifests, so don’t put your energy into worry and fear. Focus on the good- there is always plenty of good.You have so much more strength and courage than you know.  You can get through a natural disaster and bounce back.  You are powerful beyond measure.  Tap into your innate wisdom, courage and ability to lift others and thrive in the midst of chaos.  You can do this.

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Are You Giving Yourself Enough Credit for Completion?

Celebrate and Acknowledge the Big Steps to Success!

celebrating completionLast week had two major milestones for me.  I finished the full draft of my 7th book on women and overwhelm.  And I experienced the completion of my book proposal as I sent it out to my book scout and agent. (That has to happen before it can be shopped with publishers.) Whew!!!  That was a year and a half of work there and it felt amazing.

Those of you who have heard me speak know that I talk about the power of completion, how everyone gets excited when they start a new project but tend to slow down momentum in the actual doing.  Some never get to completion, and that’s a shame.  Because there’s a special energy and momentum that comes forward when you do complete, when you do finish, when you come to a milestone.  And that energy fuels future projects and gives you an enormous sense of satisfaction.  This is at the core of Resilient Leadership under pressure. Most of you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Celebrate the Milestones

I celebrated most of Labor Day weekend.  My husband and I went out to dinner and watched the sunset on the Intercoastal waterway.  The next day, I did three of my favorite things, I went to yoga, went to the beach (my favorite place on earth) and out to dinner and board games with dear friends.  And on Sunday, I rested in a way I hadn’t in months.  I watched movies at home, read a novel and napped.  It was a great weekend and a wonderful way to acknowledge progress.

Your Why Fuels Completion

And now I’m on to the next phase.  When the changes came in (which I knew they would) to my proposal and I had to cut over 40 pages (eek!) I got busy.  But I’m almost done with that, too.  That’s because I have a bigger goal driving me.  That goal is to liberate women everywhere from overwhelm and help them embrace their magnificence.  It fuels me as I move forward on this book.  It fires me up everytime I meet an exhausted, amazing woman who is overloaded with responsibility.  It’s my Why.

What’s yours?  What’s driving you? What completion can you achieve and celebrate this week?  You have so much wisdom, talent and ability inside.  You are unique and no one else can bring your rare and special perspective to what you do.  You touch so many lives, whether you realize it or not.

Celebrating progress and completion builds momentum and clarity, which are foundational to leadership resilience under sustained pressure. Give yourself the gift of completion and celebrate each milestone. It’s powerful and you will feel fantastic.

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Rebooting Your Year

What Else Do You Want to Happen in 2018?

relieve stress by celebrating successIs it time to reboot your year? As children return to school in the United States, there is a sense of new beginnings and opportunity. There are only 4.5 months left in the year, and that is more than enough time to achieve goals and move forward on important dreams and initiatives.

I am in the throes of finishing the first full draft of my seventh book (on women and overwhelm) as I prepare to send it off to my agent.  It’s been a huge undertaking in my life for the past year and a half and I can feel the energy of completion.

Achievement thrives on completion.  Every new project has a beginning, middle and end, and each phase has its own special energy.  Completion fuels new opportunities and new projects.  What’s still on your agenda for 2018?  What dreams do you have? What could you reboot and complete?

How to Reboot the Last Few Months of 2018

Examine every area of your life and assess what goals and dreams you have, what you want, and what progress you have made.  Often, we are so busy getting things done, we don’t give ourselves the chance to celebrate the small successes along the way

A. Physical Goals  –  Are you eating healthy food?  Have you lost weight or finished a run you’ve been training for?  Congratulations! Celebrate that win and recalibrate what else you might achieve this year.  If you’ve sitting a great deal, get yourself a stand-up desk. Or take a half hour walk in the morning.  Increase your sleep.  Drink 1/2 your body weight in ounces of water and be sure to replenish your electrolytes.

B. Financial Goals- How’s your cash flow?  Have you increased your savings?  Do you know what your balances and interest rates are on your credit cards?  Could you pay them off or do a balance transfer at a lower rate?  Could you curb spending? How are your investments?

C. Mental Goals- What are you feeding your mind?  How many books have you read this year?  How do you spend your leisure time?  Have you attended any workshops, seminars or taking new courses?  The mind stays sharp when you’re learning and growing.

D. Emotional Goals– How’s your happiness level?  How often do you see dear friends? Are you doing things you love that bring you joy?  Do you spend time with family that you cherish? Are you having any fun?  If not, prioritize the things that make you happy.

E.Professional Goals– How’s your career going?  Are you learning, growing, contributing or just spinning your wheels?  Is a new job in your plans for this year or are you spearheading a new project? How can you best use your talents and abilities?

F. Spiritual Goals- Do you feel a sense of calm and inner peace?  Are you connected to God, the Universe, your Higher Power?  Do you pray, meditate, spend time in nature connecting with other aspects of the earth? Do you know your life purpose and live according to that?  Delving deeper into your sense of meaning is important.  Purpose fuels happiness and is core to living a  fulfilling life.  Find yours and live yours more this year.

You have everything you need inside you to achieve what you want.  There are untapped reservoirs of greatness inside you, untapped strengths and talents which will helps you progress on your goals and dreams.  Assess where you are now and where you want to be, start making a plan to achieve those goals and dreams, write them down, look at them daily and take massive action.  You can do it.  I believe in you!

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Is Your Status Based On Being Superbusy?

“Beware of the barrenness of a busy life.”

Socrates

Busy people imageAccording to Eric Schmidt, the former CEO of Google, five exabytes of data were created between the dawn of civilization and 2003, and now that much is created every two days. And we try to process it all, on the phone, the iPad®, the laptop, in the car. Between information overload and crazy, hectic schedules, most people are burnt-out, overloaded and running at breakneck speed, being superbusy.

However, many people are now bragging about how busy they are; it’ s become a form of status. People don’t take vacations because they’re too busy. They eat at their desks if they eat at all. They sacrifice their sleep to get it all done and find themselves trying to play catch up. And this is especially true for women, who still carry the greatest burden of housecleaning and childcare. Society projects that’s it’s cool to be busy. But is it really?

The costs are enormous- to your health, your family and even to your brain, which is actually shrinking from constant overwhelm, according to the Yale Stress Center.

How to Reclaim Your Life

• Check Your Schedule – What’s there that is not contributing to your personal higher good, that takes you away from your highest leveraged, greatest ROI activities? What could you delegate? What could you say no to? Who could you ask for help? Start clearing at least an hour a day for yourself- alone.

• Spend time in Nature – Being outside is healing. And yet we spend only 8% of our time there. Running water (oceans, rivers, streams) releases negative ions, which help us feel better. Trees have an natural grounding quality. The sun is critical to our intake of Vitamin D. Get outside for at least 20 minutes every day.

• Cut out the distractions – Tony Schwartz recommends 90 minutes of solid uninterrupted time to work on a high level project. No phones, no texts, no beeps, no interruptions, no emails, no music, no TV. It’s amazing how much you can get done.

• Lose Yourself In A Great Hobby – Have you ever been so caught up in doing something you love that you lost track of time? That’s called flow. For me, when I am making fused glass or ballroom dancing, I don’t think about anything else. I am completely present, totally focused, and always happy during those moments. Find them and schedule them in. They’re key to your peace of mind.

Getting over the need to be constantly busy takes focus and choice. Breaking the cycle of constant busyness is a core part of leadership resilience, especially for people carrying sustained responsibility and pressure.You can do it! And reap great rewards as a result!

Snowden

Marketing and the Art of Asking

Before Asking, What Value Are You Giving Your Customers and Followers?

I had never heard of Amanda Palmer or her music before I read her book the Art of Asking. But whether you like indie punk rock or not, you will be a fan of Amanda Palmer and her ability to connect with her fans and ask for what she needs.   One of the most impressive facts about Amanda is that she was the first musician in history to get $1 million in funding for her music from Kickstarter.  And she has over 1 million followers on Twitter, all organically acquired.

Asking is All About Value, Transparency and Love

What lessons can we all learn from what she did?

    1. Get to know your customers, your fan base, your clients really well- even intimately, when you’re asking.   Starting in Harvard Square as a still statue of a bride complete with white face makeup, she gave away flowers to those who donated to her performance.  The actual act of connecting with the person through the flower was amazingly intimate.  She gazed into their eyes and connected deeply.  She learned to form those same deep connections through Twitter and all her social media.

 

    1. Be vulnerable and real with your customers.  Amanda is utterly transparent with whatever is happening in her life.  She shares it all very publicly.  And as a result, she creates real trust.  After Kickstarter, she had to postpone part of her world tour because her dear friend, Anthony, had cancer and she needed to be near him for treatments.  She told the truth to her fans and they understood, so much so, they sent love and letters and gifts to Anthony.

 

    1. Asking specifically for what you need when you need it is key. Amanda toured the world by couch surfing while performing. Whether she needed to borrow an electric piano or a place to sleep, she’d ask her fans for it.  She’s post on Twitter that she needed a place to stay that night, and someone would offer a sofa, a bed, or some other place to sleep.  She was always safe and she always had what she needed.

 

    1.  Love your customers and demonstrate that love in dozens of ways.  Amanda showed them how much she loved and trusted them by continually sharing, giving, expressing and reaching out.  She responded to comments, emails, tweets and shared her passion through love.  Her fans knew it was genuine and they responded in kind.

 

  1. The single most important lesson from Amanda about asking is to give incredible value back and loving her fans.   When she sold her Kickstarter packages, she gave so much more than the average artist.  She sold $5000 house party performances for no more than 50 people, and included $1000 worth of merchandise as well as performing for an hour or two.   And then she mingled and had one to one intimate conversations with her fans. They told her painful stories from their lives, they shared vulnerably because she had and because she loved them.  She accepted them.
    And she usually spent the night, so she had extra time with the hosts.  Love is a keynote to all her interactions.

What can you do to add extra value to every customer and client experience? How can you demonstrate more transparency and intimacy in the interactions you have?  How can you show your love for them before you do any more asking?  Think about it.

Wishing you great success, joy and love,
Snowden

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The Destructive Force of Negativity

A negative thinker sees a difficulty in every opportunity and a positive thinker sees an opportunity in every difficulty- Anonymous

Image

Have you ever seen a child trying something new and getting belittled? And then, as he fails, he is ridiculed and doesn’t want to risk again.

That’s how negativity works. It seeps into the consciousness and makes you doubt everything, especially yourself. We are surrounded by it. Someone called CNBC the Constant Negative Business Channel and most news is like that. It takes great courage to adopt an optimistic positive outlook and ignore the catastrophizing.

But it’s so worth it! Optimism pays off in countless ways, at work and at home. Optimists live nearly a decade longer, they breathe easier and they sell 56% more than pessimists! They recover better from illness, are sick less often and are more successful.

How Negativity Destroys Success

• It’s highly contagious If you have one negative player on your team, it can truly spoil the whole bunch. Instead of looking for solutions to client problems, a Debbie Downer will present gloom and doom scenarios and stifle progress.

• It disempowers people If you don’t think there’s a chance to win, you won’t try. I recently coached an all star performer who was ready to quit her job because the system seemed rigged against her. We just had to brainstorm solutions and look for a way to make things work. She’s back on track now.

• It creates a sour work environment No one wants to share good news because it gets shot down. People are afraid to achieve because others will heckle them. So business comes to a standstill.

• It Makes You Sick When you get a questionable test result from the doctor, instead of asking for more information or another opinion, you jump to the worst possible conclusion and make yourself sicker.

Channel Positivity Instead

• Fire the negative nellies If you have coached a constant complainer and they still won’t change, let them go. They will poison your workplace.

• Reference past successes and use those to fuel future ones.

• Celebrate achievements visibly and often. Praise performers at staff meetings and be very specific. Celebrate team wins. Focus on the good.

• Be a shining example Demonstrate good will, positive spirit and optimism in your work style, attitude and behavior.

• Use motivational tools, books, audios, videos. Keep your focus where you want to go. The essence of resilient leadership.

October is International Fired up! Month- a great way to celebrate what gets everyone Fired Up!. For more information, see below.

Snowden