Are You A Control Freak? Like Most of Us…

Human beings are master control freaks; we all want what we want when we want it the way we want it- myself included.

The problem is that other people have their own timetables and needs, and frequently, they conflict with ours.

An important lesson I continue to learn is to let go of control- on any level. Any attempts to cajole, manipulate, demand or force your needs on others will most likely be met with resistance, and negativity. Letting go of control and making respectful requests instead of demands is a defining skill of executive presence and effective communication that strengthens trust at work and at home.

Consider this: how do you feel when a parent or relative demands that you visit them or forbids you to do something? What’s it feel like when your boss tells you no or blocks your vacation time or orders you to do something?

Like most people, you probably bristle and want to rebel. The same is true of your employees, co-workers and loved ones.

The solution: let go of control.

Release expectations and demands on others. If you need something, make a request, ask them if they would be willing to do such and such at a time that works for them, and then give them complete space to say yes or no.

If they say no, accept it and back off. If it is a work situation, find another way to enroll their participation.

No one wants to be controlled. People want to be loved, appreciated and respected.

Letting go of control and demands will improve your relationships at work and at home.

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Unlimited Choice is NOT a Good Thing…For Your Business

Have you ever been to a restaurant with a huge menu? I have and it just frustrates me because there is too much to focus on.

Most of us think that “more” is always better. But recent research indicates that is not the case. In the book Switch by Chip and Dan Heath, authors of Made to Stick, cite several researchers demonstrating that too much choice paralyzes buyers.

• Too many choices overwhelm Iyengar and Lepper share several studies where too much choice is “demotivating.” A gourmet store featured a line of exotic, high quality jams. Customers tasted samples and received a discount coupon to buy a jar. 6 varieties were used on one trial; another featured 24 varieties. 30% of people in the 6 choice trial bought the jam; only 3% of people with 24 varieties bought the jam.

What does this mean for you and your business ?

• Limit the options If you have a variety of services or products, cut down on the choices. Make them no more than 6, if possible. Make it easy for buyers, patients and customers to decide.

• Be crystal clear about the value they will receive. Differentiate between each option so they can choose what it exactly correct for them.

The old KISS method applies here. Keep it simple & straightforward.

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Savor the Present Moment

Increase Your Happiness with this Technique

After battling pneumonia, I was recently on vacation in the islands. I had one focus: to enjoy the present moment.

That’s not quite as easy as it sounds. Our brains are wired to continually think, and many of us project about the future (work, money, family, commitments, etc.)

But I tried hard to silence my brain and just be. Looking at the exquisite turquoise water, I absorbed the beauty. Walking past a brilliantly hued hibiscus, I appreciated the vibrant color. Listening to chattering parrots, I enjoyed their unique way of communicating. And a funny thing happened. I became more peaceful inside. I truly relaxed and felt the simple joy of the moment.

A new study featured in this month’s Prevention magazine explains it: Savoring the moment rather than analyzing or critiquing it gives you a huge boost in happiness. So what does savoring look like? Part childlike exuberance with whooping or whee kind of glee, and part adult wisdom of “enjoy life while you can.” This meant all the more to me since I had just been so gravely ill, but it worked. For the most part, I spent all vacation in the present moment and it brought me such joy and peace. So yes – your life can be better right now: just savor the present moment.

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Is Your Job Worth Your Life?

When Work Stress Becomes a Health Risk

Chronic work stress is not just exhausting. Over time, it becomes physiological. When pressure remains constant and recovery never happens, cortisol stays elevated, sleep erodes, decision-making declines, and immune resilience weakens.

Burnout is not a character flaw. It is a biological response to sustained overload.

If you are seriously asking whether your job is harming your health, that question deserves careful attention. Leaders often ignore early warning signs until performance, relationships, or health force a reckoning.

Unchecked stress does not plateau. It compounds.

What to Do When Stress Has Crossed the Line

Interrupt the pattern immediately.
If possible, take structured time away. Even a short reset allows the nervous system to calm enough to restore perspective.

Clarify what you actually need.
Many professionals discover that title, compensation, or expectations are misaligned with their wellbeing. Define your non-negotiables for sustainable leadership.

Rebuild clarity before making major decisions.
Extreme stress creates urgency. Clarity creates strategy. Stabilize first. Then evaluate options from a grounded position.

Leaders who develop structured recovery habits early are far less likely to reach crisis levels of burnout. Sustainable performance is built intentionally, not reactively.

If work stress is becoming unsustainable, explore practical leadership strategies to prevent burnout before it escalates at Prevent Burnout.

Learn more about building long-term resilience through the Leadership Resilience System and practical stress management strategies.

Choosing your health is not weakness. It is disciplined leadership.

The Why Do It List- TIme Management Tool

Exhausted woman on files — THis woman needs a nap!

What are your true priorities?

Most of us are overwhelmed at work every day with “To Do” lists that never end. Mike Vardy, author and blogger, says to approach your list differently.

He says make a list of the top things you need to do this week, including work, family, personal, etc. with the answers to the question “Why do it” after each. Knowing the WHY instantly clarifies what has greatest value in your life. Then schedule your week.

All too often, we let the real priorities in our lives, people, loved ones, exercise, fun, slide under the overwhelm of work. And then we end up unhappy and unhealthy and resentful. Once you know why you want to do something, you can prioritize what is most important and be sure your to do list is meaningful for you.

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The Six Words that Can Change Your Life

What Are Your Six Words?

There’s a great exercise in Brendon Burchard’s book, The Charge, that can have a big impact on your life and your year. An exercise to build leadership resilience into your everyday world. It’s called six words.

A. List all the words to describe the way you think of yourself

B. Pick 3 to make as your goal this year as to how you want to be

C. List all the words that describe how you interact with others

D. Pick the top 3 to serve as your goal this year as to how you want to be with others

This is very powerful. Once you have them, bring them to mind daily to determine how you are doing. Check in with yourself at night to see how well you are living those six words. How is your life changing? For me, my top six are fit, effective and expansive and with others, my three are loving, accepting and empowering.

Let me know what the magic six words are for you at orders@firedupnow.com

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Speak Kind Words- Avoid Gossip

Have you ever noticed that some words impact you very differently than others? As Stephen Covey writes in the introduction to Aspire by Kevin Hall : “words sell and words repel, words lead and words impede, words heal and words kill.”

What words do you use in your conversations with co-workers, employees, loved ones? How about what you say to yourself? Out of the 70,000 thoughts we have a day, many of those are negative and judgmental, especially towards ourselves. Become aware of the words you use and the tone with which they are delivered; you could make or break someone’s day.

And before you share some juicy piece of gossip, ask yourself these three questions:

– Is it truthful?

– Is is necessary?

– Is it uplifting?

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Watch your Negative Self-Talk

Stop Judging Yourself. Strengthen Your Inner Dialogue.

Entrepreneur Barbara Corcoran has spoken openly about early struggles with learning and sensitivity to being labeled “dumb” or “stupid.” Rather than allowing criticism to define her, she retrained her internal response.

When confronted with doubt or condescension, she tells herself: “I have a right to be here. I have a right to be successful.”

This is not denial. It is cognitive discipline.

Why Negative Self-Talk Matters

The language we use internally shapes performance. Harsh self-criticism increases stress, narrows thinking, and reduces confidence. Over time, it erodes resilience.

Leaders under pressure cannot afford an internal narrative that undermines clarity.

How to Interrupt Destructive Self-Talk

Say “Stop” when you notice harsh internal judgment.
Forgive the mistake or imperfection quickly.
Replace the thought with a constructive statement.

Examples of constructive replacements:

“I can improve this.”
“I am capable of solving this.”
“I belong here.”
“This setback does not define me.”

The key is speed. The faster you interrupt destructive language, the less damage it does.

If negative internal dialogue is increasing stress or performance anxiety, explore practical ways to prevent burnout, reinforce cognitive stability through the Leadership Resilience System, and apply practical stress management strategies.

Your inner voice shapes your outer leadership.

The Absolute Best Stress Reliever

The #1 Stress Reliever: Fun Exercise

We all know exercise is important, and truly all the research points to exercise as the best panacea for relieving stress, extending life, removing toxins from your body and preventing serious diseases like obesity and diabetes. The key to sticking with exercise is to make it FUN and find a way to squeeze it into your day.

For my husband and me, the big three are salsa dancing, bicycling, andyoga. And when we don’t have time for anything else, walking for 15 minutes will do.

How to Fit Exercise Into Your Busy Day

I recently started a short-term consulting project that takes most of my day, and it means my healthy habits have been pushed aside for meetings, etc. I’ve been trying to incorporate more exercise into these busy days and here’s what I have learned so far:

– take the stairs whenever possible

– park far away from the entrance to increase your walking

– get up every hour from sitting (sitting too long is sooooo bad for you)

– go to bed earlier and do an exercise video before work; often it is 20 min of yoga

– take a long walk at lunch time

– find an exercise class at lunch or early morning.

(And if I plan ahead and take a healthy lunch to work, I am less likely to eat the wrong things.)

What do you do to sneak exercise into your life? Love to hear from you – please share any suggestions you may have. Email them to me at orders@firedupnow.com and with your permission, I will share them in future posts.

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More Ways to Achieve Your Goals

It’s now February. How are you doing on your resolutions? Usually, 75% of resolutions don’t make it.

Last post I gave you 4 ideas about how to achieve success with your goals. Here’s one more that is very powerful.

Track Your Progress

For years, I have maintained a healthy habits chart for my goals with different items I check off daily. Things like exercise, meditation, eating right, contacting friends, etc. are all there and I check them off.

Find a tool that works for you- there a plenty of great apps on smart phones or you can just customize your own chart. The key is daily tracking with rewards at monthly increments.

One of my weaknesses is sugar. Just have not been able to give it up! So that’s on my goals chart now and every day I don’t have sugar is a big win.

If you would like a blank chart, just email me at orders@firedupnow.com

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