stress management Archives - Page 2 of 3 - Motivational Speeches and books by Snowden McFall

Let Go of Control and Relieve the Stress in Your Relationships

Ignite the Fire of Good Communication with Others

Human beings are master control freaks; we all want what we want when we want it the way we want it- myself included. The problem is that other people have their own timetables and needs, and frequently, they conflict with ours.

An important lesson I continue to learn is to let go of control- on any level. Any attempts to cajole, manipulate, demand or force your needs on friends or loved ones will most likely be met with resistance and negativity.

Consider this: how do you feel when a parent or relative demands you visit them or forbids you to do something? Like most people, you probably bristle and want to rebel. The same is true of your loved ones. No adult wants to be told what to do when by a loved one or friend. At work. we are constantly dealing with pressure and we have built in resilience to that pressure but at home, we different expectations.

The solution: let go of control.

Release expectations and demands on others. If you need something, make a request, ask them if they would be willing to do such and such at a time that works for them, and then give them complete space to say yes or no. If they say no, accept it gracefully and back off. They may opt to do it on their own time or never. Be OK with that.

No one wants to be controlled. People want to be loved, appreciated and respected. Letting go of control and demands will improve your relationships.

To sign up for Snowden’s ezine newsletter on stress, happiness, marketing and motivation, go to: http://firedupnow.com/firedupemailregister.html

 ©2011 Snowden McFall All Rights Reserved. No duplication

Burnout Prevention Tip: Just Say No

One of the most effective burnout prevention strategies is also one of the hardest skills to practice: saying no.

Many people who appear calm, effective, and resilient are not managing more than everyone else. They are managing their boundaries better.

Why Saying No Protects Your Energy

If you have a demanding professional life and want to sustain performance without sacrificing your health or family life, limits matter. Evenings filled with constant commitments quickly erode recovery time. More than two nights a week of work or community obligations often begins to tax both energy and relationships.

When pressure is already high, adding new responsibilities compounds exhaustion. Saying no is not avoidance. It is discernment.

How to Say No Without Burning Bridges

An especially effective way to decline additional leadership or board work is to be clear and respectful:

“I only want to give you 100% effort, and right now I can’t do that with all my current commitments. Please ask me again next year so I can re-evaluate.”

Most people appreciate honesty. They would rather have you at your best than overextended and disengaged.

Learning when and how to say no is one of the most reliable ways to prevent burnout before it takes hold. Explore additional strategies leaders use to protect energy and performance at Prevent Burnout.

Sustainable leadership requires limits. Protect yours intentionally.

Do You Just Want to Scream You’re So Angry?

Have you ever watched a young child have a really spirited temper tantrum – where they jump up and down, stomp their feet, make fists and holler? And then ten minutes later, they’re just fine. They let go of the frustration, move on and get back to being happy. Wouldn’t it be nice if we adults could deal with our anger that quickly?

Your body reacts when you are angry, from tense muscles to increased hart rate to accelerated breathing, soaring blood pressure, drops in blood sugar and more. It takes a long time for your body to return to its natural resting state. Prolonged stress and anger can lead to : heart attacks and stroke, memory impairment, stomachaches, irritable bowel syndrome, and even vision problems.

Tips for Handling Anger

1. Count to 10. Try it. Just take time to simmer down and think about the consequences of losing your temper or reacting badly.

2. If you want to hit something, hit a punching bag at a gym or pound pillows.

3. Breathe deeply at least 5 times. Put your hands on your abdomen, fill it up all the way and let it out…slowly. Do this several times to regain control and calm your system.

4. Take a time out. Those of you with young children in your life know how effective this can be. When you are really upset or angry, remove yourself from the situation.

5. Get moving. The Scandinavian Journal of Medicine & Science in Sports reported that runners were 70 percent less likely to experience high stress and life dissatisfaction. So go work out somehow and let off your steam.

6. Forgive yourself and others.This is one of the most dramatic and liberating ways to release anger. Liberate yourself from the energy it takes to hold negative resentments or hurt feelings against someone. You don’t forgive for the benefit of the other person, you forgive for yourself.

For your Free Report: Top 20 Tips to Get and Stay Fired Up sign up to the right

#1 Stress Tip

According to a late 2008 report in Forbes, if you get less than 7 hours of sleep at night, you are at a “cognitive disadvantage;” your brain does not function properly. People who get less than 7 hours of sleep are three times more susceptible to colds and lack of sleep is a major cause of obesity and diabetes.

The biggest contributor to stress is lack of sleep.

According to a late 2008 report in Forbes, if you get less than 7 hours of sleep at night, you are at a “cognitive disadvantage;” your brain does not function properly. People who get less than 7 hours of sleep are three times more susceptible to colds and lack of sleep is a major cause of obesity and diabetes. Those who sleep between 7 and 8.9 hours a night on average have healthy weights; those with less do not. Typically, this is an extra 20 pounds of weight.
Entrepreneurs are also very stressed. 13% of those polled by Fortune Small Business reported having trouble getting to sleep every night. So how do we handle it? What do we give up? All too often, we sacrifice precious sleep, which has become increasingly dangerous

So go to bed earlier, do NOT check email & social media before bed, do not take your cellphone to bed prepare yourself to sleep in a quiet, dark room. You’ll be more effective in everything you do.

Stress Free Holidays: Surviving the Family

Let go of expectations and protect yourself. Let’s face it – if your parents/siblings have not approved of you, your choices, your job etc until now, they are not going to change. Accept it and let go of the expectation that they will be different. Instead, protect yourself, focus on what you love about them, keep the conversations light and steer clear of family battles.

At this time of year, there is celebration, anticipation and STRESS!@X$! As wonderful as it is to get together with loved ones, it can also be a very difficult time for many of us emotionally. Here are some tips for taking care of yourself.

1. Advance Food Prep– Do as much as you can in advance and even consider

• making dinner a potluck

• ordering the turkey already cooked (many supermarkets like Publix will cook your whole meal)

• not cooking a turkey-having a brunch instead (less work)

• have the family do a service project instead of cooking

2.Alcohol dynamics. In many families, alcohol aggravates the family issues. Drunks can get loud, critical, mean, demeaning and embarrassing. Think about:

• an alcohol-free meal; use festive hot cider and interesting hot drinks

• serving punch which is lightly spiked instead of offering beer, wine & hard liquor

• serving coffee drinks which have very little alcohol

3. Let go of expectations and protect yourself. Let’s face it – if your parents/siblings have not approved of you, your choices, your job etc until now, they are not going to change. Accept it and let go of the expectation that they will be different. Instead, protect yourself, focus on what you love about them, keep the conversations light and steer clear of family battles. If your parent or sibling starts to criticize you, say “This is a holiday- I would appreciate it if you would be kind. If you can’t be nice, please don’t say anything.” Then walk away.

4. Before the family comes:

• get lots of sleep- at least 7 hours a night before they arrive

• hire a cleaning person if you can afford it

• take a hot bath with Epsom salts

• mentally shield yourself with a spiritual shield, prayer, protection or light.

• meditate, pray and move into gratitude for your blessings.

Don’t let your family bring you down. Choose to be positive and loving regardless of their behavior. And if they are really that dysfunctional, skip the holiday. Go away and be with people who appreciate you.

The Powerful Value of Naps

Are You Getting Enough Sleep?

Most Americans are not. In fact, 40% of the US population is sleep-deprived. According to the World Health Organization, less than 7 hours a night is considered a carcinogen, cancer-causing agent.

If you get less than 7 hours, you are:

•3 times more likely to catch the cold or flu
• likely to carry an extra 20 pounds of weight
• 4 times more likely to have a stroke over age 45.

What’s the solution? For many people and more and more companies- naps!

I love naps. I hated them when I was a kid, but today, I find them rejuvenating and energizing. Naps work! And there is a great deal of research to support it.

Naps of half an hour or less don’t interfere with sleep patterns, and can restore clarity, alertness, and memory. Albert Einstein was a big fan of naps. Zappos.com has a nap room and employees are encouraged to use it regularly. More and more corporations are providing nap rooms. Many railroads have them, and even Ben and Jerry’s believes in naps.

An exhausted employee is an ineffective and possibly dangerous employee. Both Chernobyl and Three Mile Island were related to sleep deprivation.

Sara Mednick, author of Take a Nap, Change Your Life, says a 20 minute power nap is very light and easy to wake from, and good for your motor memory. A nap of 20 – 60 minutes is slow wave sleep, which is restorative. It promotes muscle and tissue growth, as well as memory performance.

“Sleepiness alone costs the American economy and employers about 18 billion dollars a year,” says Darrel Drobnich of the National Sleep Foundation in Washington, DC. So why not address that proactively and provide a nap space at work?

Kindly share this post if you liked it.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Are You Burnt-Out? The Top Ways to Find Out…

One third of Americans say they are living with extreme stress.¹ Career Builder.com says that 78% of all American workers feel burned out (not just stressed.) Nearly 80% of all doctor visits are stress-related and 43% of all adults have ill health because of stress.

Stress is linked to the six major causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung disease, accidents, cirrhosis, and suicide.² How about you? How are your stress levels?

Check any questions that apply to you:

– You come home regularly dead-tired with little or no energy.

– The concept of vacation is inconceivable to you- you have way too much to do to go away.

– You don’t have time to exercise regularly or participate in your favorite hobbies.

– You snap at your loved ones and friends fairly often.

If 3 of the above are true for you, you may be hovering near burnout.

1. Being continually exhausted. Whether you are getting less than the 7 hours a night of sleep (the minimum to prevent cancer according to the World Health Organization) or you are working very long hours, this symptom is a wake-up call. Get a medical check-up, consider vitamins and supplements, and spend more time in play, in addition to getting more sleep.

2. Vacations: Expedia found that 34% of Americans don’t go on vacation at all!What’s scary about that is for women aged 45-64, two weeks of vacation cut their incidence of heart attack in half! 3 Expedia found most people feel rested and rejuvenated after vacation, are more productive and more satisfied with their marriages. A coach in Canada discovered that when his clients doubled their vacation days, they doubled their income.⁴

3. Exercise- You know exercise is good for you, improves your memory and slows the aging process. But did you know that it can also reduce stress reduction and increase joy? The Scandinavian Journal of Medicine & Science in Sports reported that runners were 70 percent less likely to experience high stress and life dissatisfaction. You don’t have to run, but do something physical at least 30 minutes 4 days a week. Tufts Health and Nutrition Letter says even a sometime workout can reduce the risk of heart failure by 18%.

4. Relationships are key. Snapping at loved ones destroys relationships. Whether they’re family or friends, they are critical to your health and well-being. Spending time with friends creates the release of oxytocin, a neurotransmitter that relieves stress and promotes euphoria. Those who had the most friends over a 9 year time period cut their risk of death by 60%.⁵ Whether with a friend, partner, a parent or relative, a key indicator in two different happiness studies demonstrate that strong friendships and connections lead to joy.⁶

Whatever you can do to change your life, reduce your stress levels and increase your joy is going to make a big difference, both in the short and long-term. Take care of yourself and the rest of your life will come into much better balance.

Sources:

1. “Stress in US Rises, Causes Health Problems,” The Scoop, The Meeting Professional, March 2008, p.442.

2. Anschuetz, Barbara L. Dr, “The High Cost of Caring- Coping with Workplace Stress,”http://www.epilepsyontario.org/client/EO/EOWeb.nsf/web/The+High+Cost+of+Caring+-+Workplace+Stress

3&4. Brown, Sarah, “Clean Break,” Vogue, June 2003

5. &6. Taylor, S. E.; Klein, L.C.; Lewis, B. P.; Gruenewald, T. L.; Gurung, R. A. R.; & Updegraff, J. A. “Female Responses to Stress: Tend and Befriend, Not Fight or Flight”, Psychological Review (2000), 107(3), p.41-429.

Top Five Stress management Tips

Stress express book cover Most of you know I have just written a new book Stress Express! 15 Instant Stress Relievers!(http://www.stressexpressbook.com) After researching burnout for over a decade, partly due to having experienced a great deal of stress personally, I have found several stress management techniques that really make a difference in terms of decreasing anxiety, preventing burnout and helping you feel better fast.

Here are my top 5 stress management tips! Let me know which works best for you!

Sleep!The World Health Organization is considering labeling less than 7 hours of sleep a carcinogen- a cancer-causing agent! That’s how dangerous it is! If you get less than 7 hours, you are at a cognitive disadvantage, and are prone to weight gain and sugar issues. 40% of Americans get less than 7 hours a night- are you one of them? Try going to bed earlier- no phones, no TV, just a quiet dark room and settle in 1 hour before you want to sleep so your mind can quiet down.
DO NOT check your email before bed!

Laugh! Little children laugh 400-500 times a day; most adults laugh 7-10 times. One study showed that one big belly laugh is equal to 45 minutes of stress relief. Laughter also extends your life by improving your immune system, lowering your blood pressure and improving your brain function. We could all up our laughter quotient. Try listening to comedy channels on satellite radio, watching the comedy channel, or asking friends if anything funny has happened to them recently. Play comedy CD’s in the car when driving in rush hour traffic and watch your tension melt away.

Optimism Did you know that optimists live 7 years longer than pessimists,have better lung function and are far less likely to die young or die from cancer? Several studies from NIH and Yale demonstrate this. Pessimists are 25% more likely to develop heart disease. And since optimism is 75% learned, you can shift if you have been a negative thinker up until now.

Creative Expression! No matter how you like to express your creativity, from dancing, painting, singing, playing an instrument, writing, gardening, woodworking, scrapbooking, etc., creative expression keeps you in the present moment, free from worry about the past or future. Women with creative jobs have the cardio-vascular fitness of someone 6 years younger. And listening to music can reduce your depression by 25%, according to a study in the Journal of Advanced Nursing.

Volunteer. Doing something for someone else less fortunate instantly changes your perspective and makes you grateful for your life. Research shows that volunteerism, relieves depression, improves interpersonal skills, increases your longevity and strengthens the community. There are infinite ways to volunteer, from helping your neighbor care for their pet to working in a soup kitchen to building houses for Habitat for Humanity. Get involved and see what a difference it makes in your life.

Have a fantastic week, filled with good stress-relieving activities. Stay Fired Up!

Manage Your Stress through Volunteering

Different hands placed on construction beam

One of the last things you might think of doing when you are very stressed is to take the time to help someone else. But it can truly be the best thing you can do. I know this from my own personal experience.

Not too long ago, I was tired, frustrated and upset over a business issue. Heading home with my husband that night, we turned down our street. My husband said, “There’s a girl sitting on the corner crying.” We immediately stopped the car and I got out to talk to her. Turns out, she was working for one of those magazine sales companies where they drop off youths and pick them up at the end of the day. She had no phone and no money. Her ride was two hours late. So we called her manager from my cell phone and he said a ride was on its way. She waited in the car with us, shared her tragic life story, and when no ride arrived after 45 minutes, we turned around and drove her the half hour distance to her motel. When we arrived, I spoke to the manager about taking better care of this young woman (she was 20,) gave her some money and hugged her goodbye with some encouraging words. As we drove home again, all thoughts about my problems had completely vanished. My concerns were for her and how I could help others like her in the future. I realized my problems were far less pressing and there are those who are struggling to get by every day on the streets. It gave me a whole new appreciation of how fortunate I am.

That’s the value of volunteerism. It gives you instant perspective, awareness of how blessed your life really is, and it gets you out of the worry and anxiety of stress.

The Benefits of Volunteerism

There are several benefits of community service. It:

• promotes connection and sharing

• decreases stress and depression

• improves interpersonal skills

• enhances communication skills

• increases gratitude and empathy

• improves understanding of community issues¹

• strengthens your ability to cope

• makes you feel good about yourself and your gifts

• increases how long you live²

• provides a sense of fulfillment and purpose

• strengthens the community

Next time you are stressed, think about all those less fortunate and instead of giving into depression, worry or fear, take some action. There are infinite ways to volunteer. Here are a few:

• mentor a child

• help a neighbor repair their home

• work at a soup kitchen

• walk a friend’s dog

• make a meal for someone in crisis

• be kind to a complete stranger

• help at a homeless shelter

• participate in a “clean up your park” project

• volunteer at an animal shelter

• read to seniors at a senior center or hospital

• collect diapers for newborn centers

• help out at an elementary school

• collect books for literacy programs and then read for them

• run a food drive for local food banks

• teach some craft or art skill to children or seniors

Volunteering has a huge impact on your health, longevity and stress levels. For me, it is absolutely one of the best instant stress relievers around, and you can do it at any time, any place, anywhere.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia

1. “National Survey of Giving, Volunteering and Participating: The Benefits of Volunteering,” Canadian Centre for Philanthropy research Program, 2000 http://www.nationalservice.gov/about/volunteering/benefits.asp

2. “The Health Benefits of Volunteering,” Corporation for National & Community Service, from the Office of Research and Policy Development April 19, 2006

http://www.worldvolunteerweb.org/fileadmin/docdb/pdf/2007/07_0506_USAbenefits_health.pdf

Staying Healthy as a Way to Keep Fired Up!

Warren Whitlock, author of Twitter Revolution, wrote of my last post that he wanted more information about how to prevent illness. So for my friend Warren and the rest of my friends, new and old, here are some stress management tips and health tips to help prevent illness.

• be proactive, especially when it comes to your teeth. A recent tough lesson for me came when I ground my teeth so badly that I abraded my front tooth. My dentist told me it was infected and required a root canal in a few weeks! Uggh! Teeth grinding is a very common problem, and it results in broken teeth, TMJ, headaches, neck aches and shoulder problems. Fortunately, it can be treated with cranial-sacral work, massage, mouthguards and good dental care.

• Find a way to exercise that’s fun for you, and do it three-four times a week for 30 minutes. The best way is one that does not feel like work. Get an exercise buddy and go to the gym together, go for walks and catch up on your day, or do a sport you love. My husband and I are ballroom dancers, and it’s a great workout that is fun and challenging. Find what you enjoy.

• Watch your food consumption, especially sugar and sugar substitutes. Over 1 billion people worldwide are obese, and many of them are diabetic. Read Sugar Blues by William Dufty to learn about the dangers of sugar, and check on-line studies on how sugar substitutes can damage your liver and kidney. I have a sweet tooth, so I use stevia, which is an herb with no calories and no side effects. Check with your doctor for what works best for you.

•Get enough sleep- 7 hours of more. The World Health Organization says less than 7 hours may be a carcinogen- cancer-causing agent!¹ Less than 7 hours lowers your immune function, makes you 3x more susceptible to colds, contributes to diabetes and creates a large drop in concentration and productivity. 40% of Americans are sleep deprived, are you one of them?²

• Be careful of dependency on outside stimulants, whether they’re caffeine, alcohol, prescription drugs, or sleep aids. All of these can wreak havoc on your immune system and you body’s ability to relax naturally. A study published in Harvard Science Review said that walnuts and molasses may be just as effective at fighting depression as prescription drugs!³

• Spend time in nature. Nature is soothing to the system on so many levels, from the physical contact of bare feet on sand, to the soothing relief of negative ions from oceans or waterfalls. Drink in the beauty of a crimson sunset on a lake, giggle as sea gulls dive for a piece of bread, or inhale the soft fragrance of a fresh rosebud. Nature is healing; spend time outside.

This is part one. Share your suggestions with me for more tips on staying healthy! Write me at orders@firedupow.com
1 Fisher, Anne, “ Make sleep work for you” Fortune Small Business, Sept. 2008, p.86-90
http://money.cnn.com/2008/08/19/smallbusiness/make_sleep_work_for_you.fsb/index.htm

2 Schwab, Dave, “Study: Naps improves brain power,” La Jolla Light, CA, April 1, 2009

3 . “Eat your way happy and healthy,” Woman’s World, May 5 2008, p.12
http://www.harvardscience.harvard.edu/medicine-health/articles/food-ingredients-may-be-effective-antidepressants