Give the Gift of Your Presence

Be Here Now

In the US, we celebrated Mother’s Day yesterday. My own mother died when I was 21, after a long terminal illness. I still miss her delectible meals, artistic talent and haunting beauty. While she ill, I was cared for by an incredible woman named Cinderella. I was so blessed to have her in my life. She gave me my love, my hugs, my values and my unconditional support. Sadly, she died a few years ago of Alzheimers. I am so grateful I got to see her before she died, and she knew who I was. Those moments meant everything.

We’re in the season of so many celebrations, weddings, graduations, birthdays.
Be sure you give a meaningful gift, one of your physical presence. Without distractions, your presence can meet more to someone than any store-bought gift.

How to Make Your Visit More Memorable

• Turn off your cell phone, beeper, and any electronics when you are with your loved one. No TV’s either.

• Make eye contact most all the time you are there. Lean in and let the person know you are truly listening. Feed back what they have said and ask them questions about it.

• Spend some meaningful time. 10 minutes is not enough. You know what is.

• Do things for this person that they can’t do themselves. Help them out with grace and dignity.

After this kind of visit, both of you will feel the love. The ability to be fully present is a defining part of executive presence and trust-building communication, whether with family, colleagues, or teams.

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Stress-Free Relationships at Work

In today’s dog eat dog world, you will go farther faster by cultivating positive relationships at work. Use these tips to build rapport and create a better work environment.

The Golden Rule
as a Way to Reduce Stress

I hear all too often about backstabbing, selfishness, and silhos at work.
And the truth is, none of us can get our jobs done alone. We all need others to help and life is so much more pleasant, effective and profitable when we place nicely with others. People will go the extra mile for those they feel care about them. They will work late and do overtime and jump through hoops if they believe you truly care.

How to Build Better Working Relationships

• Be kind. You have no idea what others are going through in their personal lives.

• Smile and sincerely ask others how they are.

• Share news which will impact others quickly. Come up with solutions to a mutual problem before you even tell them. Be empathetic.

• Praise others specifically 92% of American workers say that when they finish a project, their boss says NOTHING! Don’t be one of those managers. Thank your people and acknowledge what they have done.

• Do it in writing- thanking others with a written note card goes a long way.

• Share openly with others and invite them to do the same. You don’t have to parade your personal problems, but show your vulnerability and authenticity. Be a real person and others will respond.

• Encourage laughter, not at anyone’s expense. People are more effective in a safe, fun work environment. Part of how you create that is to make the job enjoyable. Good will goes a long way.

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Surviving Winter Stress

About 1/2 of all Americans report feeling depressed in winter. Seasonal affective disorder can cause energy loss, grumpy moods and carb craving. Here’s how to beat the stress of winter!

Beat the Stress of Winter Blues

For over two decades, I lived in New England and battled the grey, cold, snowy winters every year. Then I moved to Florida where we have sunshine regularly- I love the sun! I have been infinitely happier. Not only because I prefer warmth, but because all that grey depressed me. And lately we have been having Northeasters in Florida which create similar grey days. Enough to give me the blues.

And I’m not the only one. About 1/2 of all Americans report feeling depressed in winter. Seasonal affective disorder can cause energy loss, grumpy moods and carb craving.

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” Steve Martin

How to Beat the Winter Blues

• Go outside. Yes- even if it is cold out, spending time in nature boosts your mood. Try 20 minutes a day without sun block. (After that, slather up.) Many people are deficient in Vitamin D3, which you normally get from the sun. This vitamin is critical to your overall health and mood. Consider taking D3 supplements and have your doctor test your levels. I get it in liquid form.

• Take vacations in the winter to someplace warm

• Try light therapy with a 10,000 lux lamp – 30 minutes a day significantly boosts mood and energy

• Exercise- A most powerful mood booster made even better when you do it with others. Socializing helps you feel better.

• Use aromatherapy. Peppermint boosts alertness, as do orange and lemon scents.

• Do something you love every day.

Remember, unless you live in Alaska, winter is only a few months long. Take care of yourself and get Fired Up!

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The $ Pizza Man

A Unique Way to Give Back

This morning on the Today Show, they featured a gentleman named Mason who owns Rosa’s Pizzeria at 25 S 11th St Philadelphia, PA 19107. What is extraordinary about Mason and Rosa’s is that they only charge $1 for a slice of pizza. But even more extraordinary is that people tend to buy more than one slice and then leave a post it note for anyone else to get credit for a free slice. This is designed to help the homeless have a chance to eat something healthy without begging. The walls are covered with sticky notes and yet most people pay for others. To date over 9000 pieces of pizza have been given out to those in need. Each of us can make a difference in our own way. Engaging in service and giving back restores perspective and purpose, both of which strengthen leadership resilience and help people stay grounded under pressure. Today I am setting up a ‘Dress for Success” event with Professional Women’s Council to help the Latina women of The Hill get back into the workforce. We have clean, good condition suits, blouses, accessories and interview techniques to help them get jobs. And tomorrow we will distribute them, with the goal of empowering these women with encouragement, confidence and lots of love. Volunteering is a terrific way to relieve stress, to feel better about yourself and to make a difference in your community. What will you do to make a difference? Kindly share this post if you liked it. Sign up for free tips on success, marketing, happiness and stress relief. http://www.firedupnow.com/kindlings ©2015 Snowden McFall All Rights Reserved. You may share this post and reprint with author reference and copyright. Follow my blog with Bloglovin

The NO, NO, NO Woman

Recently, I was shopping at a retail store which had a big sale. (This was a week before Black Friday.) I had half an hour before my meeting and zipped in, found what I wanted and stood in a looonnnng line where only two cashiers were working. (Personal pet peeve- when you have a sale, staff up for it.)

While I was waiting, a woman was trying to return some pastry making items. Very loudly, this older cashier said, “These caps don’t have a safety seal. ” The customer replied “They never had and they have not been opened.” The NO, NO, NO Woman said, “I have to call my supervisor,” which she did very loudly and said “This lady is returning pastry items with no safety seal. Can we take them back?” Want to guess what her boss said?

No. And then the NO, NO, NO woman proceeded to humiliate the poor customer further by shouting out- “No, we can’t take this back.”

The whole thing was completely unnecessary. And unpleasant! And time consuming. I never did get to buy those items that morning, as the time exceeded what I had allotted before my meeting.

Lessons here: Never put NO, NO, NO people in customer service. NEVER humiliate the customer. Don’t sell products that can’t be returned unless you notify people. And find some YES employees. Is it any wonder why some retailers are in trouble?????

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Dignity and Respect- For Yourself and Others

Helping Others Needs to Be a Two Way Street

Most of us have been raised thinking it’s appropriate to be generous, kind, loving and helpful to others. In in today’s world with so much suffering, we are increasingly asked to reach out and help. And if we can and are willing to do so, without strings attached, we should. Sharing the wealth of heart and wallet is a good thing.

But the key here is to do so while allowing the other person to have dignity. Every human being has a sense of pride and self-worth, and truly no one wants to beg for assistance if they can help it. When giving aid in any form, whether it’s advice, money, clothing or food, be sure to allow the recipient to have dignity.

Kevin Hall, in his wonderful book Aspire, explains it eloquently when he tells the story of Pravin and “genshai.” Genshai means never treating another person in a way that would make them feel small. So if you are giving money to a beggar, you don’t toss a coin to them, you get down to their level, look them in the eye and smile. Then you give them the money and say “bless you.” You are treating them with respect.

An interesting twist on this is to practice genshai with yourself. Never treat yourself in a way that would make you feel small. And most of us do this regularly. We criticize ourselves mercilessly, judging our actions and finding fault. All that does is lower our self-esteem and create guilt and resentment patterns against ourselves. If you feel you did something in a less than perfect way, forgive yourself and move on, this is the essence of resilient personal leadership. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others.

___________________

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Recharge Your Brain with Down Time

“We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly -spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.” Susan Taylor

Access Your Creativity Through Quiet Time

Most busy professionals have very little time for themselves. Deadlines, quotas, meetings, family, life obligations all take a toll on our personal time. Your brain never turns off. You probably have “cerebral congestion.” Creating intentional downtime to restore clarity, creativity, and energy is essential to leadership resilience under sustained pressure.

Recent study by LexisNexis of 1,700 white collar workers in the U.S., China, South Africa, the U.K. and Australia showed employees spend more than half their workdays receiving and managing data rather than using it to do their jobs; 50% confessed that they were reaching a breaking point.
Most of our best ideas come from quiet time. Many great concepts that later became life-improving products originated in the shower. Several companies encourage employees to take one day a week to work on whatever project they want- whether it’s part of their job description or not. Some of these companies’ best innovations resulted. But if there’s no time, no quiet space, no daydreaming, there’s very little room for innovation.

How Can You Get More Quiet Time?

• cut down on meetings and shorten them. Ask- could this be accomplished in an email or memo? Make a guideline that all meetings get done in 15 minutes or less. Tell people in advance to laser their thoughts.

• exercise nearly every day-and instead of watching TV, talking on the phone or reading emails while you’re doing it, just be quiet. Play soothing environmental music. Or get outside. Let your brain wander while you are in nature.

• sleep at least 7 hours a night. Sleep is critical to your overall health, well-being and memory. In true restful sleep, your brain synthesizes through various levels of consciousness and replenishes itself. The quiet of sleep is absolutely necessary for sanity, not to mention performance and achievement.

• meditate. Even if it is only for 10 minutes a day, taking the time to be quiet and go inside, listen, and breathe deeply can give the brain a vital rest.

• take your vacation time. In 2013, most Americans left 4 vacation days on the table. No laptops or emails or phone calls on vacation. Be truly off the grid and come back refreshed and revitalized.

• get outside in nature. The new field of ecopsychology demonstrates that spending time in nature relaxes the brain, restores the body and spirit.

Your brain has great wisdom and gifts to share with you. It can only do so when it truly has a chance to recharge. Give it that time.

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Turn Anger into Action Without Losing Your Clarity

Anger is a natural response to injustice, loss, or perceived threat. In moments of collective stress or personal frustration, anger often signals that something deeply matters. The challenge is not eliminating anger, but deciding what we do with it.

Unprocessed anger hardens into bitterness. Directed anger, however, can become fuel for meaningful action, leadership, and positive change.

Three Ways to Channel Anger Constructively

Take purposeful action. Energy that remains trapped becomes destructive. Energy that is directed becomes productive. Volunteer, support causes aligned with your values, mentor others, or advocate for change. Action restores a sense of agency and steadiness.
Be for something, not against everything. Leaders anchor themselves in what they stand for. Integrity, fairness, compassion, and responsibility are stabilizing forces. Constant opposition drains energy. Purpose-focused leadership builds it.
Train your attention toward what is working. There is always goodness unfolding alongside hardship. Seek stories of courage, cooperation, and kindness. What we repeatedly focus on shapes our emotional resilience and decision-making.

Leadership resilience is not about suppressing emotion. It is about regulating emotion so it informs action rather than overwhelms it. Anger, when guided by values and intention, can sharpen clarity rather than erode it.

To see how emotional steadiness fits into a broader framework for leading under pressure, explore the Leadership Resilience Hub.

Never underestimate the impact of thoughtful, committed action. Small, steady efforts—directed with purpose—are how real change happens.

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Want to Get Fired Up?

October is International Fired Up! Month

“Enthusiasm is the greatest asset you can possess, for it can take you further than money, power or influence.” Dada Vaswani

I created this month in 1997 to celebrate attitude and success. Your positive attitude determines your success in life, and we know from the research that optimists sell 56% more than pessimists, and are more effective leaders. Building enthusiasm, optimism, and shared purpose is a core theme of inspirational leadership speaking that energizes teams and communities to perform at their best.

You can Host a Fired Up! week at work or in your community. employees, students or association members can:

• maintain a daily success list of all you accomplish
• share inspirational music, movies, quotesl books or stories (movies like Dolphin Tale 1 and 2 or the Blind Side, The Butler, Mr. Holland’s Opus are all good starters)
• talk about their dreams and goals, successes, victories
• form Fired Up! Inspiration Circles where they support each other’s dreams
• track group individual successes on a Fired Up! bulletin board/ victory wall.
• participate in a community service event on Make a Difference Day, Oct 25, 2014!

Be sure this is a sincere and meaningful exercise and give special attention to it. Let your people know you value them and encourage their positive attitude. People who know they are valued as human beings are more loyal and productive.

“Enthusiasm spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.” Norman Vincent Peale

Oct 25 Chamber All Council Community Involvement Project

If you live in the Jacksonville Fl area, participate with me in a park clean-up, painting and education project.

This morning project will include:
• painting the picnic shelter
• building benches
• painting the utility building and kids’ log cabin
• adding flowers to the playground
• converting the shuffleboard court into educational hopscotch areas with colorful paint and stencils.

Location is Home Gardens Park, 6367 Mockingbird Rd., Jacksonville. If you would like to join me, whether you are a chamber member or not, go here to sign up: http://www.signupgenius.com/go/60b0f4fa8ac2aa46-october

You can make a difference, too, and reap the rewards of volunteering. It’s an amazing stress reliever, You help others and you help yourself. It truly gets you Fired Up!

Have a great weekend and get Fired Up!

Snowden

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Leaders and Sacrifice
Building Resilient Leadership

In his book Leaders Eat Last, Simon Sinek argues that true leaders are willing to sacrifice for their people. They protect those in their care. They put the needs of others ahead of personal comfort or recognition.

This idea is not sentimental. It is structural. Sustainable leadership depends on what a leader is willing to give up in order to create trust and stability under pressure.

Leadership sacrifice is not about working longer hours or taking on more tasks. It is about letting go of behaviors that undermine resilience, clarity, and long-term performance.

What Leaders Must Be Willing to Sacrifice

Micromanagement

When leaders cling to control, they limit ownership and suppress initiative. Sacrificing micromanagement builds trust, increases engagement, and strengthens team resilience under pressure.

Ego

Leadership is not a stage for personal validation. When leaders sacrifice ego and connect authentically, communication improves and psychological safety rises.

Image Protection

Backing your team during conflict sometimes requires sacrificing personal optics. Protecting people instead of appearances builds loyalty and long-term performance.

Short-Term Approval

Choosing long-term capability over short-term applause is another essential sacrifice. Investing in development may not yield immediate results, but it strengthens sustainability and reduces burnout.

Sacrifice and Leadership Resilience

Resilient leadership requires intentional decisions under pressure. Letting go of control, ego, and short-term thinking creates an environment where people can think clearly, act responsibly, and remain engaged.

When leaders sacrifice wisely, they protect both performance and wellbeing.

Learn more about building sustainable leadership through the Leadership Resilience System and practical burnout prevention strategies.

Leadership is not about what you gain. It is about what you are willing to give up for the good of those you lead.

Be Here Now

How to Make Your Visit More Memorable

The Golden Rule as a Way to Reduce Stress

How to Build Better Working Relationships

Beat the Stress of Winter Blues

A Unique Way to Give Back

Helping Others Needs to Be a Two Way Street

Access Your Creativity Through Quiet Time

Three Ways to Channel Anger Constructively

October is International Fired Up! Month

“Enthusiasm is the greatest asset you can possess, for it can take you further than money, power or influence.” Dada Vaswani

Oct 25 Chamber All Council Community Involvement Project

If you live in the Jacksonville Fl area, participate with me in a park clean-up, painting and education project.

What Leaders Must Be Willing to Sacrifice

Micromanagement

Ego

Image Protection

Short-Term Approval

Sacrifice and Leadership Resilience

The Golden Rule
as a Way to Reduce Stress