Clean Up Your Emotional Junk

Release Your Anger Before the Holidays

With the holidays upon us, it is easy to let family anxiety come between you and your spouse or partner.  Emotional “junk”  like anger, frustration, petty annoyances, can  build up in your relationships  when you are not willing to talk about the issues. Fear about seeing family members can intensify the tension.Then one day, you explode, because they have all accumulated.

Often, this has the exact opposite effect than what you wanted.

Your partner is usually shocked and hurt and feels like this came out of nowhere. The solution is to mention the little things as they show up, make requests and own your reactions to things.
“I know this might sound petty, but it really bothers me when you leave the cap off the toothpaste. Could you please try to put it back it on?”

That is a reasonable request, shows your need and asks for a solution. Ask- not demand. Share your feelings, explain what bothers you and don’t blame. Encourage your spouse to share their petty annoyances, too and explain that your goal is to have a more loving relationship where stuff does not get in the way. If  you clean up the little things as they arise, you won’t have BIG problems later on.


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