Evidence-based leadership resilience, executive presence, burnout prevention, and stress management for leaders under pressure. Keynotes, coaching, and practical systems by Snowden McFall.
A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of watching the jazz saxophonist Marion Meadows perform at a live concert in Florida. The performance was terrific, especially because of the incredible enthusiasm of the band members. Sometimes, the star of the show dominates every number and every song so thoroughly that you hardly notice the other band members. That was definitely not the case with Marion Meadows.
All three of his band members, a pianist named Will Brock, a base player nicknamed Chocolate Chip, and a drummer whose name I missed all played with such unbridled joy and authentic passion for the music. Their delight was absolutely contagious and it lit the audience on fire. And Marion let them. He showcased them. He gave Will an entire solo and smiled on as his friend took over the stage. He applauded the solos of each musician and appreciated their talents.
That takes confidence. It takes confidence to be the star and sit back and let others shine, too. It says volumes about who he is as a person. If you are well-seated in your talents and abilities, you know how great it is to promote others and let them have their day in the sun. It’s generous and it’s the sign of someone who knows how to share the limelight.
What about you? Where in your life can you take a step back and let others shine?
Who can you promote and rave about? Who can you build up? What employees, colleagues, friends or loved ones can you brag about and give an opportunity to? We live in such a negative world where people criticize others so quickly. It’s much healthier to encourage others, to help them know their own value and talents. Have the confidence to let others shine and you will know the deep satisfaction of helping bring more light to the world.
The latest research on happiness reveals something counterintuitive: the most successful business leaders, entrepreneurs, physicians, and professionals are not successful because they are stressed and driven. They perform better because they are happy first.
Optimism, happiness, and joy are not soft concepts. They are performance multipliers. When leaders operate from a positive emotional state, their thinking improves, their decisions sharpen, and their effectiveness rises—especially under pressure.
• Doctors placed in a positive emotional state before diagnosing demonstrate three times more creativity and make diagnoses nearly 20% faster than those in a neutral state.
• Optimistic salespeople sell 56% more than pessimists.
• Students who report higher happiness levels consistently outperform their peers academically.1
Happiness and optimism are not personality traits reserved for a lucky few. They are learnable states that can be cultivated intentionally and applied immediately in professional life.
Research from Yale University following over 600 individuals found that those who viewed aging and life circumstances with a positive outlook lived an average of 7.5 years longer than those who did not. Optimism, it turns out, is not only good for performance—it is good for longevity.
Optimism also produces measurable physical benefits. A Harvard study found that individuals with a more optimistic outlook had significantly better lung function and fewer respiratory challenges. Changing how we interpret stress and challenge can quite literally change how we breathe.
So how does optimism show up in leadership, especially during difficult economic or organizational periods?
Dr. Martin Seligman and researchers at the University of Pennsylvania studied over 350,000 executives across two decades and discovered a striking pattern. The top 10% of performers shared a common trait: they consistently interpreted challenges with optimism rather than defeat. Their mindset allowed them to stay effective while others stalled or burned out.
This is why optimism is now recognized as a core element of leadership resilience. Leaders who cultivate emotional steadiness and perspective think more clearly, communicate more effectively, and sustain performance when pressure does not let up.
To explore how optimism, emotional regulation, and clarity fit into a broader framework for leading under pressure, visit the Leadership Resilience Hub.
1 (Data from the book The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor)
One of the hardest things to do when you return from vacation is face your computer, your email, your inbox and your desk. Try these quick tips tips to get maximum effectiveness and productivity on that first day back.
1. Clean your space off. If your desk is overloaded with mail, reports, cards, etc. you won’t be able to concentrate. Quickly skim through the mail to see if there is anything critical from clients or vendors. Everything else put aside for review during downtime. Work with a clean space so your mind is focused and relaxed.
2. Email– scan it quickly to see if there are important client messages. Read these; everything else leave until lunch or a break.
3. Social Media- Skip it until you take a break. You can spend lots of time there.
4. Inbox– Again scan over all papers, reports, etc and focus only on those critical documents that have to be handled today and which impact your clients.
5. To Do List– Prioritize the top 6 most highly leveraged activities, those things which will bring in new business, service an important client, connect you to key people. What activities bring in money? Do those first.
Make your clients and your business acquisition work top priority. Do what your boss deems most critical as well. Attend to everything else at lunch, during your low productivity time. Do your highest leveraged activities first and you will find you have made the most of your return day back.
At this time of the year, it is easy to get wrapped up in buy, buy, buy. And that is neither smart nor economical. Through the years, the gifts that have had the most meaning to my loved ones have always been gifts from the heart. So what does that mean? What does giving from the heart look like?
• Really thinking about the person you are giving to and studying what they love, what they care about, what they are excited about. Gifts should be about the recipient, not about what you think the recipient should have.
Ex: my husband’s brother has spent years restoring an old Ford truck. He loves it. He spent hours working on it. So Spencer managed to find an original owner’s manual to that truck on line. His brother loved it and appreciated the thought behind it.
• Understanding the needs of the person you are gifting. If they are homegrown, down-to-earth, and organic in nature, they probably will not like the latest slick toy. On the other hand, if they have been playing computer games all their lives and are thrilled with new technology, that might make the perfect gift.
• Handmade is always appreciated. Even if you did not make it by hand. Commissioning an afghan in someone’s favorite colors is exactly what my sister-in-law did for me and I so appreciated the thoughtfulness. She helped an older woman who needed money and then blessed me with a sweet gift.
• Food from your kitchen is almost always a hit (provided it’s not fruitcake!)To make it more memorable, attach a special ornament to the delicious offering.
• Shared interests make great gifts. I am a kitty person, so I always love cat-related stories, stuffed animals that are cats, etc. I also love self-help books, so my friends sometimes give me those. If you share an interest with someone, reflect that in the gift.
• The gift of your time and care can mean everything. Sometimes, especially for seniors, the most important gift you can give is to spend quality time with someone and give them your undivided attention. In this hustle and bustle world, that is very rare. Having tea together and laughing and chatting can be the best gift of all.
•The gift of lifting burdens can be invaluable. It seems in my life that over the past few years, more and more people have cancer. So if I can help by cleaning their house, making them meals, spending time with them at chemo, helping them laugh(which is indeed the best medicine,) then I know I am on track. One friend has a long list ofhouse projects and she is a single woman. My husband gave her two hours of “honey-do” time this year for her present. She was delighted.
Whatever you do, give some thought to each person’s needs and dreams instead of just buying them the latest hot new thing. They will love you for it and know that you love them. And isn’t that what the season is all about, anyway?
Believe it or not , there are several foods which can help you manage your stress , cut your cortisol levels and even handle depression.
• Eat walnuts to treat depression. Harvard Science Review published a study by McClean Behavioral Genetics Laboratory citing that walnuts are powerful antidepressants! If you don’t like walnuts, try molasses or sugar beets instead. They have the same benefits. Always consult your doctor first. 1
• Honey is very good for you, since it is a natural antibacterial agent. Many countries use it medicinally to treat burns and wounds, and in the United States, it has been proven to be effective in treating stress, diabetes, Alzheimer’s and osteoporosis. Recent reports of honey coupled with cinnamon every day show an improvement in blood pressure and cholesterol levels. 2
• Eat 5-8 servings a day of fruits and vegetables, especially brightly colored ones. They’re full of antioxidants, vitamins and fiber. Vitamin C has been shown to lower blood pressure and help produce collagen, which keeps skin firm. Blackberries have more than double the amounts of vitamin C, calcium and magnesium than blueberries. Both boost your memory and are great for you! Choose organic ones to prevent pesticide ingestion.
• Eat pistachio nuts to cut inflammation, lower cholesterol levels, and improve your body’s response to stress. Just 1.5 ounces of pistachios provides a boost of energy and can slow the absorption of carbohydrates in the body when eaten together. One reason pistachios are so good for you is that they have large amounts of potassium.
•Have a cup of tea, especially green or white tea, several times a day. Drinking tea reduces stress and cortisol levels. Japanese women who drink lots of green tea live longer.3 Tea improves your concentration and prevents bone loss. A University of London study states one cup of tea can significantly reduce anxiety levels after suffering an upset.4
Whatever you eat this holiday season, be mindful. Instead of those Christmas cookies, have an apple instead. Watch empty carb intake, and instead eat whole grains, which boost seratonin levels “the feel good chemical”. And when you are really craving sweets, work out instead.
1. “Eat your way happy and healthy,” Woman’s World, May 5, 2008, p.12
Let go of expectations and protect yourself. Let’s face it – if your parents/siblings have not approved of you, your choices, your job etc until now, they are not going to change. Accept it and let go of the expectation that they will be different. Instead, protect yourself, focus on what you love about them, keep the conversations light and steer clear of family battles.
At this time of year, there is celebration, anticipation and STRESS!@X$! As wonderful as it is to get together with loved ones, it can also be a very difficult time for many of us emotionally. Here are some tips for taking care of yourself.
1. Advance Food Prep– Do as much as you can in advance and even consider
• making dinner a potluck
• ordering the turkey already cooked (many supermarkets like Publix will cook your whole meal)
• not cooking a turkey-having a brunch instead (less work)
• have the family do a service project instead of cooking
2.Alcohol dynamics. In many families, alcohol aggravates the family issues. Drunks can get loud, critical, mean, demeaning and embarrassing. Think about:
• an alcohol-free meal; use festive hot cider and interesting hot drinks
• serving punch which is lightly spiked instead of offering beer, wine & hard liquor
• serving coffee drinks which have very little alcohol
3. Let go of expectations and protect yourself. Let’s face it – if your parents/siblings have not approved of you, your choices, your job etc until now, they are not going to change. Accept it and let go of the expectation that they will be different. Instead, protect yourself, focus on what you love about them, keep the conversations light and steer clear of family battles. If your parent or sibling starts to criticize you, say “This is a holiday- I would appreciate it if you would be kind. If you can’t be nice, please don’t say anything.” Then walk away.
4. Before the family comes:
• get lots of sleep- at least 7 hours a night before they arrive
• hire a cleaning person if you can afford it
• take a hot bath with Epsom salts
• mentally shield yourself with a spiritual shield, prayer, protection or light.
• meditate, pray and move into gratitude for your blessings.
Don’t let your family bring you down. Choose to be positive and loving regardless of their behavior. And if they are really that dysfunctional, skip the holiday. Go away and be with people who appreciate you.
How many live events have you attended this year? Conferences, seminars, trade shows, expos, retreats, boot camps, workshops, one day programs- all of these are considered live events, where you actually go and meet people face to face. Live events help you overcome the stress of working alone on your business, trying to come up with all the answers yourself, and they energize you and help you stay fired up. These are enormously valuable for so many reasons:
1. You meet great new people who fire you up and can become friends, business associates, affiliate marketers, partners in new ventures, international contacts and more.
Here’s what I mean. I went to Mark Victor Hansen’s Megabook Marketing conference in Orlando in June 2009, which I attended because my new book Stress Express! was about to be published. There I listened to and met the wonderful Carrie Wilkerson, the Barefoot Executive, who became my internet marketing mentor and friend. She is extraordinary, and it was my privilege to be a guest speaker on one of her CD’s and participate in her webinars. I attended her Boss 2009 weekend, which featured speakers and fascinating folks from all over the world, several of whom I have since done webinars and teleseminars with throughout 2009-2010. I also got to know the terrific Paul Evans, speaker, and fascinating David Frey, internet marketer. Both of these men are great people, very successful and caring individuals who make such a difference in the world. It was my honor to be on Paul’s blogtalk radio show last week and I have referred him for some speaking engagements we may do for the same client. We are growing our friendship- all because of we both attended live events. Those kinds of connections get me totally Fired Up! and fill me with gratitude and inspiration.
2. You learn in a different way than if you attended a webinar or read a book. That keeps you fresh and helps relieve your stress.
There is nothing like a live event where you can see the facial expressions, witness the body language and understand the nuances of the content being delivered. Many times, comments are taken out of context and they don’t quite make sense. At a live event, you get to witness the speaker and participate in their laughter, foibles, poignant stories and fun. You are part of the experience because you are there, engaged and involved, and you will more likely retain what you heard far more than if you listen on CD later on.
3. You are privy to upcoming news, specials, giveaways and more- which are often launched or announced at live events. That always fires me up!
Joel Comm, NY Times bestselling author of Twitter Power and hugely successful i-phone app creator, autographed his new book, Kaching, for us at Boss 2010, which we received because of his and Carrie’s generosity.
4. You stretch out of your comfort zone and start thinking in new ways, which is great for preventing burnout, and challenging the status quo.
I had the joy of attending Bob Burg and Thom Scott’s event, Extreme Business Makeovers, last spring and again met such interesting people and learned so much. I took three legal pads full of notes and implemented a great many things based on what I learned there. Thom modeled marketing innovations through his creative coaching. Bob is a phenomenal man, filled with heart and wisdom, and he gave us all so much to think about. Each speaker made us think differently about our approaches. Most of all, Bob epitomizes adding value and being a “go-giver,” which is the way I choose to live my life. (He also gives great hugs- which you would only know if you attended a live event!)
What live events are on your calendar for the next year? Start planning now for new ways to learn, grow, connect, expand and make a difference. Whether it’s a business seminar or yoga retreat, be sure you get the most out of it by taking the time to really get to know the other attendees, add value to them wherever possible, helping them with their businesses and goals, soak up as much information as you can, act on what you learn and continually grow yourself and your business.
I received this poignant story via email today- I don’t know the author but it is inspiring. Let me know if it touches your heart, too.
A young man learns what’s most important in life from the guy next door.
It had been some time since Jack had seen the old man. College, girls, career, and life itself got in the way. In fact, Jack moved clear across the country in pursuit of his dreams. There, in the rush of his busy life, Jack had little time to think about the past and often no time to spend with his wife and son.. He was working on his future, and nothing could stop him. Over the phone, his mother told him, “Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday.”
Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days. “Jack, did you hear me?” “Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you.. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said
“Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mom told him. “I loved that old house he lived in,” Jack said. “You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,” she said “He’s the one who taught me carpentry,” he said. “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him… He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important…Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral,” Jack said.
As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.
The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time. Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture…..
Jack stopped suddenly. “What’s wrong, Jack?” his Mom asked. “The box is gone,” he said “What box?” Mom asked.. “There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he’d ever tell me was ‘the thing I value most,'” Jack said. It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it. “Now I’ll never know what was so valuable to him,” Jack said. “I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom.”
It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. “Signature required on a package.. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days,” the note read. Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was dif ficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. “Mr. Harold Belser” it read..
Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack’s hands shook as he read the note inside. “Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It’s the thing I valued most in my life.” A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box.. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.. Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover.. Inside he found these words engraved: “Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser.” “The thing he valued most was…my time”
Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. “Why?” Janet, his assistant asked. “I need some time to spend with my son,” he said.
“Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!”
Think about this. You may not realize it, but it’s 100% true.
1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.
4. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
5. You mean the world to someone.
6. If not for you, someone may not be living.
7. You are special and unique.
8. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won’t get it, but if you trust God to do what’s best, and wait on His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better..
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
11. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.
12. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
13 . Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you’ll both be happy.
14. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great. You will certainly brighten someone’s day and might change their perspective on life..for the better. To everyone I say “Thanks for your time and for taking the time to read this.”
Most of us have To-Do lists that never end, and when our day is over, we feel frustrated. Half-started projects, incomplete reports, books begun and never finished- all of these drain large amounts of energy and actually create stress.
Incompletions are a form of self-sabotage, which can create anxiety, worry and tension. Every day, each one of us makes commitments to do things. Saying you’ll be at work on time is an agreement. Setting up lunch with a friend at a certain time and place is an agreement. Promising to take out the garbage tonight is an agreement.
Most people are good at keeping agreements with others. People who don’t keep agreements don’t have many friends, because they aren’t trustworthy.
Broken agreements destroy relationships. The problem for many of us is keeping agreements with ourselves. Promising ourselves we will get up early to exercise and then rolling over when the alarm goes off is a broken agreement. Completion is Powerful
In The Path of Least Resistance, Robert Fritz describes the circle of completion. The three phases in this circle are germination, assimilation and completion. Germination is the initial start-up phase of a project. This is usually where you feel the greatest excitement and enthusiasm about your life. You’ll most likely share that contagious energy with others.
Assimilation is the phase where people take action, where you’re actually doing what needs to be done to make things happen. This is where many people get stuck and never completely finish projects. They get halfway done or they quit just short of realizing their goals. That is a big mistake because they lose out on all the joy and power that comes from Completion.
There is a distinct and special energy you experience every time you complete. Think about it. Reflect on the last time you finished some goal or project you’d been working towards for some time. How did you feel? Satisfied, pleased with yourself, perhaps even proud? That’s all part of the energy of completion and that energy gets you motivated to accomplish your next goal. It actually fuels the next project. How to Get More Completion in Your Life
• Walk through your house and notice what is incomplete. Is there a huge pile of laundry waiting to be done? Is the carpet filthy? Take 10 minutes right now and just do it. Feel the completion.
• Are there any old newspapers or half-read magazines in your home? Recycle them or throw them away.
• Look in your closet. Is there some article of clothing you know you will never wear again? Give it away.
Completions can fuel your energy for new projects and get you Fired Up! Start tackling your incompletions now and see how much better you feel.
Make time with friends a priority. Several years ago Ladies Home Journal reported many women were lonely. In 2007, more than 27 million Americans lived completely alone. 20% of people feel so cut off from others that loneliness is a major source of unhappiness.1
The danger of the Internet is isolation. Relationships with people online don’t fulfill the deep-seated need for human contact, touch and quality conversation. Working alone on the computer all day does not meet your needs for actual physical contact, hearing a friendly voice or looking into someone’s warm eyes.
Lonely people eat more fats, exercise less and are more apt to die young.2 The stress of social isolation contributes to breast cancer susceptibility.3 One Harvard Medical School Nurses’ Health Study says that not cultivating meaningful relationships can be as life-threatening as cigarettes.
The Solution: Schedule time with friends every week
Spending time with friends creates the release of oxytocin, a neurotransmitter that relieves stress and promotes euphoria. Those who had the most friends over a 9 year time period cut their risk of death by 60%.4 A recent study in Australia showed that people in contact with at least 5 friends on a weekly basis were 22% less likely to die in 10 years.5
Schedule in friend time; it could actually extend your life. Try to see at least 3 different friends every week and see how much better you feel. It could also boost your happiness quotient. Very happy people have good relationships. Whether with a friend, partner, a parent or relative, a key indicator in two different happiness studies demonstrate that strong friendships and connections lead to joy.
1. & 2 Kleinfield, Judith, “The effects of loneliness are serious, studies show,” Fairbanks Daily News Mirror, April 5, 2009
3. Harms, William, “Isolation and stress identified as contributing to breast cancer risk,” www.eurekalert.org http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-12/uoc-ias120309.php
4. Taylor, S. E.; Klein, L.C.; Lewis, B. P.; Gruenewald, T. L.; Gurung, R. A. R.; & Updegraff, J. A. “Female Responses to Stress: Tend and Befriend, Not Fight or Flight”, Psychological Review (2000), 107(3), p.41-429.
5. McCafferty, Megan, “Easy Ways to Add Years to Your Life” and “Where Did All My Friends Go?” Ladies Home Journal, Feb., 2009, p. 140 and Health.com, April 2008
