Empathy is Key to Emotional Intelligence

Why Empathy Matters

empathy in actionImagine being a homeless teenager on the streets and no supplies.  Your food stamps don't cover them. Appalled and empathetic, Jan Healing created a non-profit called Renewing Dignity.org to provide period products to impoverished populations.  Her empathy resulted in action.

Empathy enables you to put yourself in someone else's shoes and to communicate that understanding back.  It's a critical skill in business and in life; you need  empathy for your clients, employees, co-workers, loved ones, and others in the world if you want to greater success and meaning.

How to Develop Greater Empathy

1. Cultivate curiosity about those different from yourself.  Ask questions, learn about their culture, their interests, their issues.

2. Challenge your own biases. Ask yourself why you think the way you do about certain people, or groups of people.  Is it valid, necessary or appropriate?

3. Volunteer at places where people are less fortunate than you.  You'll suddenly have much more compassion and gratitude for your blessings,

4. Travel outside your country and see how others live.  It can be very eye-opening.

5. Listen carefully to others' lives and experiences and share some of your hardships and concerns.  Be real.

6. Treat others as important, the way you want to be treated.

7. Ask if it's ok to offer help.  Some people will say no and some will be grateful.  Be humble and value them.

8. Always look others in the eye and treat them with dignity.

You can have better relationships in every area of your life if you take the time to develop empathy.

To watch a video on empathy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmuSZVTQWFg&feature=youtu.be

Learn more about Renewing Dignity

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©2019, Snowden McFall, Fired Up! You may reprint if you credit me with content.Follow me on social media @snowdenmcfall

Reduce Your Stress Around Email

stressed out woman from Stress ExpressHow to Cut Down On Email Clutter

The Average employee gets over 12o emails ad day, most CEO’s receive 300+.  Eeks!!  How can you cope with that deluge of email on a daily basis.

Here are a few tips from my friend Dianna Booher, whose new book Faster, Fewer, Better Emails came out this week.

What to do:

  1. Read each email only once and either delete, put into action, reply or send to right person.
  2. Ask coworkers not to cc all.
  3. Don’t prolong responses with personal commentary that is meaningless.  Women often try to build relationships with email; this is not the place.
  4. Acknowledge receipt and respond with a plan: "I will get that report to you after I hear from Tom; you will have it by 3:00pm."
  5. Bow out after introductions.
  6. Don’t forward jokes, stories, etc. We all have enough distractions.
  7. Unsubscribe to ezines.
  8. Turn off alerts.A tip from me:
  9. Only check email 4-5 times a day.  First thing when you start work, before lunch, after lunch, mind-day and at end of day.  Don't take it home and don't read it before bed- it will wreak havoc with your sleep.  You train people how to expect your response.  If you respond immediately, they will always expect it.

You can handle your email in a way that works for you. Try these techniques and let me know if they helped!

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©2019, Snowden McFall, Fired Up! You may reprint if you credit me with content.Follow me on social media @snowdenmcfall

Seek and Celebrate the Good

A Month of Good News!

In a world all too frought with tragedy, bad news and polarization, it's critical to celebrate milestones and achievements.  Doing so reminds us of the essential goodness of the human spTop Women Igniting Successirit, and our ability to overcome. It shows us that our hard work has been worthwhile, and that we do, indeed, make a difference.

What in your life have you been celebrating? What has been exciting and meaningful in your world?

This month has been especially busy, with many great events and opportunities to be thankful. My nephew, Quint, graduated from college. I hosted the Top Women Igniting Success Awards, and volunteered for Read USA.

Honoring Those Who Contribute

The Top Women Igniting Success Awards. accompanied by the First Coast Symphony and Tara Winds from the Atlanta Symphony celebrated 35 women who have made outstanding contributions to our community.  We also acknowledged 4 Top Achievers who have gone above and beyond. Those women include Ellen Wiss, co-founder and CEO of Read USA Inc.,  Helen Jackson, founder of the Women of Color Cultural Foundation, Chris Schwing, Chairwoman/co-founder of the Jacksonville Women's Leadership Forum, and Ju'Coby Pittman of the Clara White Mission, which has made great strides in feeding and employing the homeless.

Ending Poverty

Did you know that 2/3 of children who struggle to read by the 4th grade end up in jail or on welfare!!!!  And 2/3 of impoverished homes have no books.  Ellen Wiss Read USA Inc at Hyde Parkand Vanessa Tussey co-founded Read USA Inc. years ago to address this very issue.   I had the privilege of volunteering this week at school book fairs where each child receives 3 free books to own! Donations are made from the community (we raised over $165,000) to pay for the books.  Amazingly, this only costs $10 per child for 3 free books.   We got books into the hands of 16,000 children this week,which means they will have books to read over the summer and stay engaged with learning!

This month, I witnessed the power of hard work, tenacity, learning and community fellowship.  Every day members of your community, my community, every community throughout the world, are making a difference.  Celebrate that and let that knowledge inspire and fire you up as you go forward.

 

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©2019, Snowden McFall, Fired Up! You may reprint if you credit me with content.Follow me on social media @snowdenmcfall

Do You Know the Signs of Burnout?

Are you on the edge of burnout?

stressed out woman from Stress Express

Today is National Stress Awareness Day, and people who are severely stressed on an on-going basis burn out. Burnout is a major problem all over the world. Japan has a term called “death from overwork” (karoshi) and over 30,000 deaths have been attributed to it.  Over 2000 Japanese workers committed suicide.

Americans work even longer than the Japanese. According to the American Psychological Association, 60% -80%of work absences are due to issues such as layoffs, longer work hours, stress and burnout. This accounts for over $300 billion of economic loss in lost productivity and health care costs.

Take this quiz to see where you are:

Check any that apply to you right now:

  1. You come home regularly dead-tired with little or no energy.
  2. You stay awake at night thinking about all the things you have to do.
  3. The concept of vacation is inconceivable to you- you have way too much to do to go away.
  4. You don’t have time to exercise regularly or participate in your favorite hobbies.
  5. You don’t have time for massages, haircuts, or personal care like doctor’s and dentist’s appointments.
  6. You snap at your loved ones and co-workers fairly often.
  7. You have very little patience with others and expect them to work as hard as you do.
  8. You are very critical, especially of yourself.
  9. You feel your life is out of control.
  10. You eat on the fly, often junk or fast food.
  11. You don’t like change and wish things were like the way they used to be.
  12. You feel unappreciated, unloved and undervalued.

If you checked 5 or more, you could be heading towards burnout.
©2019, 2000 Snowden McFall All Rights Reserved

What to Do About it?

  1. Get help.  See a counselor, therapist, or coach.  Many of my coaching clients are hovering on burnout when I start working with them.  Change takes awareness and having an accountability partner.
  2. Go away for a technology break as soon as possible- like this weekend.  And plan a vacation within a month- again technology-free.  Trade houses if you need to, just take at least 7 days off from work.  Your brain and body need down time.
  3. Laugh as often and as much as possible.  Watch funny movies, listen to comedy stations, ask people about their funny stories.  One good belly laugh is workth 45 minutes of stress relief.
  4. Get more sleep- at least 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in a cool dark room with no technology. (Are you sensing a theme here?)

For more stress tips, consider Stress Express 15 Instant Stress Relievers!  It's a quick read, inexpensive and all tips are researched backed.

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©2019, Snowden McFall, Fired Up! You may reprint if you credit me with content

Overcoming One of the Biggest Stressors

Fear of the Unknown Creates Significant Anxiety

fear of the unknown is a big stressor

Fear of the unknown often plagues employers and employees alike, as well as parents and teens. Whether you're a CEO concerned about payroll, or a caretaker wondering how to handle your parent's latest medical crisis , fear of the unknown can absorb far too much of your time and energy. Not knowing what will happen and then projecting worry, or worse, catastrophizing, is a huge stressor for those who don't know how to handle it.

Here's what you can do to handle this stressor:

  1. Do a reality check. Worried about cash flow? Check your numbers carefully. Analyze receivables and projections, bills and outflow. If there truly is an issue, consider renegotiating agreements with vendors, tapping into a line of credit, or asking for help. Whenever you contract about money, make a written list of all you are grateful for right now. What are all the blessings in your life? Review them. That will shift your focus off of lack and into abundance. We create more of what we focus on.
  2. Put your attention on the present moment. One of the biggest stressors is worrying about the future, of what could happen. Most of the time, we cannot control what is going on in the world; we can only control our attitude. Stay optimistic and handle what you can right now, in your immediate future. Visualize a good outcome. The more progress you make today on your highest ROI activities, the better tomorrow will be.
  3. Take control of something small where you can see an immediate result. That might mean cleaning off your desk and filing all your documents. Or washing the dishes. Or completing a short report. Do something that gives you a sense of completion, and that will help you reframe your sense of futility and powerlessness. It will also get your moving physically, which shifts the negativity.
  4. Analyze challenging times in your past. How did you prevail? What or who got you through them? Reference previous successes and coping strategies, and employ them now to help you deal with the most recent stressor.

Know that you are incredibly resourceful, capable and powerful, when you set your mind and heart to it. Get clear about what's happening, ask for help, tap into your resources and previous strategies and you will thrive, no matter what the future brings.

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©2019, Snowden McFall, Fired Up! You may reprint if you credit me with content

Amazing Women Making a Difference

Today is International Women's Day and there has never been a better time to recommit yourself to having an impact. Whether you know it or not, you do touch lives and inspire others, often without realizing it. By acting with integrity, being true to yourself, leading with courage and expressing kindness, you are a role model and an instrument of change.

A Few Great Women Doing Just That

One of the exciting new aspects of my life is the Ignite Success TV Show I am shooting every week, where I get to profile inspirational women leaders and provide a 5 minute motivational message.

Last week's show was so powerful because each of these women has made a huge difference in the world and continues to.

Kristin Keen, who started Rethreaded, a non-profit which gets women who have been human trafficked off the streets, into a full-time job, with support and therapy, was completely Fired Up! She shared that Project Runway All Stars had featured her non-profit on the show that aired in January, and Southwest Airline had donated enormous quantities of supplies for her women to turn into saleable merchandise . Rethreaded is now selling gorgeous gifts and accessories which change lives. And they have a new corporate gift program..https://www.rethreaded.com

Ju'Coby Pittman has been the CEO/President of the Clara White Mission for 25 years and is the incumbent Councilwoman for District 8. She has been working to improve Jacksonville for over 30 years; by feeding the homeless and implementing vocational training programs for veterans, ex-cons, and the homeless with amazing results. With projects like Clara's at the Cathedral, a meal service catered by her people, and White Harvest Farm, an organic farm on the north side, Ju'Coby's work has impacted thousands! She's appeared on Oprah and the Today Show.http://theclarawhitemission.org/

You, too, make a difference every day, whether you realize it or not. Every smile, every kindness, every time you help another, you are changing lives. Never forget that you have an impact and a purpose. I believe in you!

Ellen Wiss, philanthropist and president of Homekor Florida, is the co-founder of Read USA, which is dedicated to eradicating poverty through literacy. 2/3 of all children who struggle to read by 4th grade end up in jail or on welfare. This organization mitigates the problem by proving book fairs where children get to pick out their own books which they get to keep. This is so critical because 2/3 of homes in poverty have no books at all. This year the organization will host 35 book fairs and they need volunteers and donations.$10 will provide 3 books to a child. $100 willl provide books for 30 children. To donate or volunteer, go to https://www.readusainc.com

Snowden

If you'd like to watch any of my tv shows, go to my youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/SnowdenMcfall/videos

4. Jacksonville-based Rethreaded featured on ‘Project Runway’

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©2019, Snowden McFall, Fired Up! You may reprint if you credit me with content

Fire Up! Your Networking Skills!

Networking is About People and How You Make them Feel

I recently attended three networking events in one day, breakfast, lunch and dinner, and I observed some interesting behaviors.  At the evening reception, I encountered a woman I had met a few times and I smiled and said hello.  She greeted me with great enthusiasm and we hugged.  She then kindly introduced me to her group, saying nice things about me. She immediately put me at ease and I wanted to know all about her and her group.  We connected on Linked in after the event and I sent her a follow-up email.  She was an excellent networker and was delightful!

That was in contrast to a woman I saw at the networking luncheon, whom I said hello to.  We had a shared learning experience in common and I asked her about it, and she distractedly looked around the room, never really answered my question and made it abundantly clear she did not want to talk to me.  So I moved on.  Which woman made a bigger impression on me?  Who would I be more likely to refer business to?

Do's and Don'ts of Networking

Do come prepared.  Know who will be attending, research the group, have business cards, breath spray or mints.  Wear appropriate clothing- nothing too wild. Smile often.

Don't try to get as many business cards as possible -aim for quality not quantity.

Do aim to meet 3-5 people and have meaningful conversations where you ask them meaningful questions like:
- How long have you been in that industry?
- What do you like best about it?
- What trends or changes do you see happening?
- Describe your ideal client
- What would you say to someone entering the field?
- Have you got any vacation plans?
- Anything exciting coming up at work or home?

Do get their business card and follow up. A hand-written note is very rare and highly prized.  Reference what you learned abut them in the conversation.

Don't spend the whole conversation talking about yourself, even if they ask.  Keep redirecting the talk to them.  Add value. . Offer to connect them to others.  Find out what they need and refer others to them.  Be the source for them.

Don't gossip or speak ill of others, particularly your competition.  Take the high road.  If you don't have anything good to say, don't say it.

Stay in touch every 3-4 weeks.  Add value.  Send an article they might be interested in, invite them to lunch, send them a referral.  Build the relationship.

Networking can lead to great business opportunities or friendships, if you do it right. Come with the idea of helping others and you will always come out a winner.

Last two episodes of Ignite Success TV Show:

Global leader for women Teresa Meares

Protecting your family,

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©2019, Snowden McFall, Fired Up! You may reprint if you credit me with content

Train Your Brain for Success and Long-term Health

You Can Change and Improve Your Brain

get fired up with Daniel Amen

Dr. Daniel Amen is one of the world's leading authorities on the brain and how you can improve it to be happier, healthier and more effective.  Having done over 80,000 brain scans, he's learned some remarkable techniques that you can apply right now to your life.  If you're like me and want to prevent Alzheimer's and be more productive and joyful, you'll appreciate these tips.

Train Your Brain

1. Breathe deeply and slowly three times from your diaphram whenever you're feeling stressed. Your brain needs oxygen.

2. Meditate regularly at least 10 minutes a day.  There are great apps for that.

3. Eat organic blueberries instead of sugar.  They are one of the highest anti-oxidant fruits available.

4. Stand away from the gas nozzle when pumping gas so as not to breathe in toxic fumes.

5. Eat beans of some form every day.

6. Get a minimum of 7 hours of restful sleep in a cool dark room free of electronic devices and blue light.

7. When hit with negativity, go for a walk in nature and think of something else. Nature heals.

8. Try to spend time in sunshine every morning.  If you can walk outside in the sun, you're much more likely to sleep better that night.

9. Have two playlists for your car, work, and life.  One gets you fired up and ready to go and one soothes you and calms you down.  Use them whenever necessary.

10. Practice the hand-warming technique in your mind to relieve stress and migraine headaches.  Close your eyes and imagine you are warming your hands in front of a fire, or holding a warm cup of hot chocolate or green tea. Breathe deeply and count to 20.  You can actually raise the temperature of your hands doing this and it is great for your brain.

Your brain is integral to everything you do. Take excellent care of it.

I've been away from you for a while traveling and then working on my new project. I am now hosting a new TV Show called Ignite Success! for women about women.  It will start airing on tv in Feb. but you can get a sneak peak here: https://vimeo.com/310880565  Unfortunately I was very sick for the first taping but my guests were great.  Love your feedback.

Snowden

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©2019, Snowden McFall, Fired Up! You may reprint if you credit me with content

Tap into a Sense of Wonder

Last night, my husband and I celebrated an annual wonder tradition- driving around looking at twinkling holiday lights. A church in St. Augustine has a fantastic light show accompanied by music.  Dozens of different scenes are captured in lights, including the nativity, and then at least 6 gorgeous trees change color in time with Amazing Grace.  It never ceases to create a sense of awe inside me. And gratitude.

Looking at photos of animals of different species loving each other does the same thing.  So does spending time in nature and watching the majesty of a coral hued sunset.  What creates awe and a sense of wonder for you?

Awe and wonder are part of innocence.  Spend time with a young child this season and you will capture it.  It connects us back to something greater than ourselves and fills us with appreciation.  What can you do to connect with wonder?

Wishing you a glorious holiday season and a terrific new year.  And if you want to join me for my Jan. 12 workshop, the discount  ends tomorrow.

Happy Holidays!

Snowden

 

Imagine a year of success, prosperity, joy, and excellent good health. In this highly interactive, fun, and informative workshop, you’ll learn how to:

• identify what you truly want to happen in 2019
• create a compelling vision of your success
• develop realistic, measurable goals & chunk them into achievable steps
• track your successes easily in a way that makes you feel terrific
• overcome limitations and negative self talk!
• stay Fired Up! even when you get discouraged
• tap into physical anchors to re-energize yourself daily
• use a dream collage to stay focused on achievement
• maintain long-term success with Fired Up! Accountability Circles

We’ll cap off the program by getting started on our own dream collages and share lunch at Bonefish Grill.

“I can’t tell you how much value I get from Snowden’s programs. Her excellent speeches and terrific audios are filled with great information and authentic motivation.?She has a way of tackling complex issues and providing clear, practical and easy to implement strategies which make you feel great, renewed and empowered. I love her work.” Anne Urban, Owner, Destination Planning, Center Stage, and Florida Wedding Supplies

“Snowden’s workshops, speeches, books and products have made such a difference in my life. Her incredible wisdom, backed by research, and her warm, inspirational, interactive approach make learning fun. Her material is so useful; I have applied it throughout the years and it has truly helped my career. You don’t want to miss out – register for any of her programs today.” Christina Elmore, Vice President, Fidelity Bank

Date: January 12,2019
Time: 10:00-2:00pm
Place: Bonefish Grill, San Jose Blvd. Jacksonville,Fl
Registration: $149 per person;
         save $50 if you register by Dec. 20, 2018
(Discount will show on the cart page)
All materials for collage included; lunch is paid by each person
REGISTER HERE:    
Call 904-200-6995 to register or for group discounts

Your Personal SWOT Analysis

Once a year, at least, take the time to assess where you are in your life, in all key areas: mental, physical, financial, spiritual, relationships, family. Take note of improvements you want to make and changes that need to happen.

yoga from Stress Express by Snowden McFall

As we approach the end of another year, we do all sorts of planning and strategizing about our work and companies. But what about a personal assessment of where you are? Consider doing a SWOT analysis of your own life.
As a reminder, SWOT stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. Take a few hours on your own to do this. Here's how:

Strengths:

• What strengths have you developed this year? Acknowledge areas where you have grown and expanded your capabilities. Reflect on personal and professional successes and what was required to achieve them. Which strengths did you employ? What 3 areas you would like to develop more? Include those in your plan for 2019.

Weaknesses:

• Where have you fallen short, personally and professionally? Which emotions or self-destructive habits have sabotaged your achievements? Are you impatient, quick to judge, self-critical? Do you procrastinate or linger in indecision? Pick 3 weaknesses you choose to change in 2019.

Opportunities:

• Consider the roads not taken. What personal and professional opportunities you have denied yourself? Is there a course you want to take? Is there a hobby you want to pursue? Is there some place you want to travel? Set an intention for 2019 to take advantage of those opportunities.

Threats:

• What threatens your happiness and success? It might be your health or not taking care of yourself. It might be your negative self-talk or attitude. It might be a lack of support. It might be the people you are spending your time with. Resolve to do something about those threats to ensure you have a great 2019.

You have the chance to make 2019 an incredible year. You are in control of your destiny and you are extraordinary. You deserve a great new year. Make it happen.

 

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image from Dreamstime stock photography

©2018, Snowden McFall, Fired Up!