At Work, At Home, Made Your Needs Clear
So many times, we get upset because someone did not do what we wanted how we wanted it, and we did not get our needs met. The easiest way to overcome this is to be crystal clear about what you want and ask for it. Most people are grateful to have clarity and to know how to help and support you. They want to participate in your life but may not know how.
I have found at home that my wonderful husband cannot read my mind. So I ask, “The garbage is really smelly- could you please take it out now?” He responds very well to requests. (Rather than complaints- most of us are like that.)
When you are swamped at work, at the end of your rope and so stressed, you are snapping at others, ask for help. Try a request like ” This week is going to be difficult for me because I am overwhelmed with the new regulations. Could you please help me by following up on the___ project? I don’t want to slow down our progress. Thanks so much for your assistance with this.” Others will be happy to help when you clue them in.
©2012 Snowden McFall All Rights Reserved. No duplication or reprinting without permission and author reference
Keeping It In Can Be Very Unhealthy
Anger can make you ill. When small children have a temper tantrum, they get it all out and are fine half and hour later. Adults tend to not be so lucky. They site and fume and let the anger build until they explode, often at a loved one. This is clearly not the way to build healthy relationships.
Your body reacts in all sorts of ways when you get angry:
• your muscles tense up
• your heart rate increases (average heart rate of 80 climbs to 180 beats per minute)
• your blood pressure soars (120/80 quickly rises to 220 over 130)
• your blood sugar drops (dangerous for diabetics or hypoglycemics)
Prolonged stress and anger can lead to many health disorders: heart attacks and stroke, memory impairment, stomachaches, irritable bowel syndrome, etc. Don’t sit on your anger; defuse it.
Here are 3 ways to release it safely:
1. Write it all down and then tear up the paper into teeny pieces and flush it. Or burn it in a fireplace. This is very satisfying.
2. If you want to hit something, hit a punching bag at a gym or pound pillows. Stand with feet hip width apart and raise your hands over your head to really put the anger into the pillows.
3. Use empathy. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person and try to see from their viewpoint. Have compassion and use forgiveness to process through it. Forgiveness is always the best healing agent.
Ask yourself, what is the anger costing you? Usually, it isn’t worth it. Let it go. You’ll be healthier and happier.
©2012 Snowden McFall All Rights Reserved.
No duplication or reprinting without permission and author reference
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