How to Truly Give Thanks at Home this Week

Giving Thanks: Thursday is More than Just a Day for Food and Football

Two friends giving thanks for each other In the United States, it’s Thanksgiving this week. As we prepare delicious food, plan on parades and games, take the time to give thanks and acknowledge others in special ways, especially at home.

• Do things for others without being asked. Go the extra mile to help clean, wash laundry, buy groceries. And get them something you know they will love.

• If you’re skillful with tools, ask if you may fix things around the house of the one you’re visiting. Ask what needs to be done.

• Listen to an older family member. Ask questions and give them your full attention. They don’t have it very often. Give thanks for their wisdom and knowledge.

• Use touch to convey your thanks and love. Giving a shoulder rub can ease tension instantly. Hugging your mother will melt her heart. Patting a child on the back and letting them know they did a good job elicits a smile.

• Cook with love. Make foods that you know people dear to you appreciate and crave.

• Do something unexpected but highly appreciated. Perhaps bring a new game for the kids or take everyone outside on a nature walk. Share photos of recent work you have done. Interview family for a future archived family video.

• Don’t take others for granted. If your family is small enough, write a hand-written card for each one letting them know what you specifically appreciate about them.

• Turn off your devices and be present with others.

Enjoy your holidays by expressing gratitude from your heart.

Kindly share this post if you liked it.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

How’s Your EQ?

The Key to More Effective Relationships at Home and Work

Oracle Vice President Meg Bear says empathy is the critical 21st century skill. In an article in Fortune Magazine, business experts cite emotional intelligence as one of the most needed business skillsets for the coming decades.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

It’s the ability to be aware of and manage the emotions of yourself and others, and constructively communicate as a good team member.

Those will poor self-awareness tend to be brusque, rude, narcissistic, critical and rigid . Those with poor self-management react strongly, yell, interrupt and disrespect others. Those with poor self-motivation procrastinate, blame others.

Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

• Become an excellent listener. Don’t interrupt, have open body language and
don’t check your cellphone while listening. Give full eye contact and attention. Summarize what they said and ask questions.

• Develop greater empathy. Show caring, even if you haven’t have the same experience. You can say things like “That sounds hard for you.” “I understand this is difficult.”

• Get to know yourself more. There are great books out like Strengths-Finder
and plenty of free personality tests on line. Discover your strengths and areas for improvement. Often work conflicts are the result of personality differences.

• Pay attention to the body language of others. What is not being verbally said?

• Be a source of positive encouragement to others. Find the good.

Those are just a quick start on how to improve. Put them into practice and watch your life get better.

Kindly share this post if you liked it.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Give the Gift of Your Presence

: Me and Cinderella

Be Here Now

In the US, we celebrated Mother’s Day yesterday. My own mother died when I was 21, after a long terminal illness. I still miss her delectible meals, artistic talent and haunting beauty. While she ill, I was cared for by an incredible woman named Cinderella. I was so blessed to have her in my life. She gave me my love, my hugs, my values and my unconditional support. Sadly, she died a few years ago of Alzheimers. I am so grateful I got to see her before she died, and she knew who I was. Those moments meant everything.

We’re in the season of so many celebrations, weddings, graduations, birthdays.
Be sure you give a meaningful gift, one of your physical presence. Without distractions, your presence can meet more to someone than any store-bought gift.

How to Make Your Visit More Memorable

• Turn off your cell phone, beeper, and any electronics when you are with your loved one. No TV’s either.

• Make eye contact most all the time you are there. Lean in and let the person know you are truly listening. Feed back what they have said and ask them questions about it.

• Spend some meaningful time. 10 minutes is not enough. You know what is.

• Do things for this person that they can’t do themselves. Help them out with grace and dignity.

After this kind of visit, both of you will feel the love.

Kindly share this post if you liked it.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Dignity and Respect- For Yourself and Others

Helping Others Needs to Be a Two Way Street

Most of us have been raised thinking it’s appropriate to be generous, kind, loving and helpful to others. In in today’s world with so much suffering, we are increasingly asked to reach out and help. And if we can and are willing to do so, without strings attached, we should. Sharing the wealth of heart and wallet is a good thing.

But the key here is to do so while allowing the other person to have dignity. Every human being has a sense of pride and self-worth, and truly no one wants to beg for assistance if they can help it. When giving aid in any form, whether it’s advice, money, clothing or food, be sure to allow the recipient to have dignity.

Kevin Hall, in his wonderful book Aspire, explains it eloquently when he tells the story of Pravin and “genshai.” Genshai means never treating another person in a way that would make them feel small. So if you are giving money to a beggar, you don’t toss a coin to them, you get down to their level, look them in the eye and smile. Then you give them the money and say “bless you.” You are treating them with respect.

An interesting twist on this is to practice genshai with yourself. Never treat yourself in a way that would make you feel small. And most of us do this regularly. We criticize ourselves mercilessly, judging our actions and finding fault. All that does is lower our self-esteem and create guilt and resentment patterns against ourselves. If you feel you did something in a less than perfect way, forgive yourself and move on. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others.

___________________

Kindly share this post if you liked it.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

It’s Not about YOU!

Other People’s Behavior is ALWAYS about Them!

I recently had lunch with two great women who have achieved substantial success in life and business. However, like so many people, they were taking way too much responsibility for others. As I speak around the country about burn-out, I see this trend over and over.

You are NOT responsible for the actions of others. If someone comes into work in a bad mood, it’s not your fault. Nor do you have to fix it. Women in particular are great “fixers.” Stop. Focus your energy and attention on being the best you can be, and let go of worrying about the behavior of others. You can’t control them anyway, and you certainly cannot change them. Let every individual make their own choices.

How to Stay Clear of Over-Responsibility

• Don’t Take it Personally If someone is rude, short-tempered or curt with you, recognize it’s about them. They may have been in a fight or lost a loved one or been cut off in traffic. It’s not about YOU.

• Take a Good Look at Your Schedule How much of it is taking on others’ tasks and responsibilities? Have you over-committed? Are you doing the work others should be doing? Stop, renegotiate those commitments, and don’t take on anything that isn’t yours.

• Lighten Up Life is so hard if you continually worry about others’ opinions and problems. Yes, it is appropriate to give back to the community and do service work. But not at the expense of your health and well-being. Focus first on your life, your needs and your issues, and allow yourself to relax and have joy, freedom and peace of mind.

Kindly share this post if you liked it.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

5 Ways to Fire Up Your Sales

Ignite Your Sales with These Quick Tips

Never push a prospect- add value.

Never force or manipulate- demonstrate listening and caring.

1.Truly listen to your customers
Everyone wants to be heard, and appreciated. Ask what their needs and concerns are, find out what successes they have had, focus on them and do whatever you can to help, even if it means you don’t get the sale, this time. Be a valued resource and trusted advisor.

2. Use stories and customer testimonials – Give examples of real people who have had a problem you solved. Tell the truth. And use customer testimonials to back up your stories. Always get written permission. Here’s an example from one of my speaking programs: “Snowden McFall, may I personally say what a fabulous speaker you are. We all enjoyed your keynote speech. Productivity is certainly the topic of the decade. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.” Mary Fisher – I asked her permission to use and she said absolutely.

3. WIFT Always focus on the benefits to that particular customer. What is in it for them? Why choose you over all the other competitors out there? Demonstrate you understand their needs, fears and pain points and show you have
proven solutions for them.

4. Overcome objections by raising them yourself.
You know what the push-back is. Overcome it by demonstrating why the objection is not valid, or how you have resolved it. Show you think like they do.

5. Have genuine enthusiasm for your products or service. Nothing sells like genuine enthusiasm- it is rare and it is contagious. Get Fired Up! about what you are sharing and keep that top of mind. Your Fire will spread and ignite theirs.

Kindly share this post if you liked it.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Speak Kind Words- Avoid Gossip

Have you ever noticed that some words impact you very differently than others? As Stephen Covey writes in the introduction to Aspire by Kevin Hall : “words sell and words repel, words lead and words impede, words heal and words kill.”

What words do you use in your conversations with co-workers, employees, loved ones? How about what you say to yourself? Out of the 70,000 thoughts we have a day, many of those are negative and judgmental, especially towards ourselves. Become aware of the words you use and the tone with which they are delivered; you could make or break someone’s day.

And before you share some juicy piece of gossip, ask yourself these three questions:

– Is it truthful?

– Is is necessary?

– Is it uplifting?

To sign up for Snowden’s ezine newsletter on stress, happiness, marketing and motivation, go to: https://firedupnow.com/firedupemailregister.html

A Good Customer Service Story

All it Takes is Kindness and Attention

A few weeks ago, between appointments, I ran into Dillards to return something and stopped by the Estee Lauder counter. Surprisingly, I had a delightful time. Karen greeted me warmly, inquired as to my needs and then went a step further. She got to know me. She observed I had bought some new suits, and I explained I was a professional speaker. We had a great conversation about stress, and she said, “Let me check your previous sales slip.” Seems I was entitled to a 10% discount that had not been taken by the other salesperson. She voided out everything, reentered it and saved me over $20 on a variety of purchases. She took my name and contact info for future sales, and gave me a card. It was a wonderful experience. She demonstrated a personal interest, valued me, made my shopping more positive and memorable. That’s what I call customer service. How are you doing that for your customers?

Communicate Well by Asking Open-Ended Questions

And Actively Listen to the Answers

At work, one of the best ways to improve your relationships with your colleagues, superiors and direct reports is to ask meaningful open-ended questions and then sit back and listen- actively. In an earlier blog post, I described active listening as the state where you focus completely on the other person, don’t speak, have open body language and nod encouragingly as you listen.

When you do that after asking questions which require more than a yes or no answer, amazing things happen to your communication.

Here’s an example. Let’s say you’re workingon a major project with many components and several colleagues. Try asking a question like “Could you please give me your perspective on the status of the project?” If they answer, “It’s going fine,” say “Tell me more. Could you give me an overall update on thehighs and lows and any concerns/ suggestions you may have?” That way, you will receive much more detailed information and gain some new insights. It’s much more effective than saying, “How’s the project going?” because that might yield only a one or two word answer. Thank the colleague for sharing their perceptions and decide what you want to do with the information. Either way, you’ll have shown the colleague that you value them and their input, and you may very well have gained new data you didn’t have before.

Need a great Christmas present for the woman in your life? Get the Fired Up Woman’s Guide to Success™ Audio Series – see more

To sign up for Snowden’s ezine newsletter on stress, happiness, marketing and motivation fill out our form to the right.

 ©2011 Snowden McFall All Rights Reserved. No duplication 
or reprinting without permission and author reference

Express Gratitude for the Small Things

Acknowledge Each Other Regularly

Taking the time to thank your loved ones for their small acts of kindness goes a long way. It’s a key to a good marriage, friendship or family.

Certainly, one spouse may do most of the cooking and the other take out the garbage, but sharing your appreciation of each other throughout the week can help keep the love alive. Making requests, rather than demands, is far more effective at keeping the love flowing.

Be Aware of Your Own Gratitude

Consider keeping a gratitude journal, where you record 5 things you are grateful for each day. Some days it may be your health, other days it may be your home and loved ones, sometimes it may be that you made it home safely after a grueling trip. What’s important is to acknowledge verbally that you have been blessed. Some people prefer to do this once a week; either way is fine, so long as you acknowledge the good things in your life.

Gratitude teaches us not to take people or life for granted. It’s one of the lessons the great late Christopher Reeves shared when he spoke- to appreciate every moment while you have it. He was a very smart man.

To sign up for Snowden’s ezine newsletter on stress, happiness, marketing and motivation, go to: https://firedupnow.com/firedupemailregister.html

 ©2011 Snowden McFall All Rights Reserved. No duplication 
or reprinting without permission and author reference