How to Truly Give Thanks at Home this Week

Giving Thanks: Thursday is More than Just a Day for Food and Football

Two friends giving thanks for each other In the United States, it’s Thanksgiving this week. As we prepare delicious food, plan on parades and games, take the time to give thanks and acknowledge others in special ways, especially at home.

• Do things for others without being asked. Go the extra mile to help clean, wash laundry, buy groceries. And get them something you know they will love.

• If you’re skillful with tools, ask if you may fix things around the house of the one you’re visiting. Ask what needs to be done.

• Listen to an older family member. Ask questions and give them your full attention. They don’t have it very often. Give thanks for their wisdom and knowledge.

• Use touch to convey your thanks and love. Giving a shoulder rub can ease tension instantly. Hugging your mother will melt her heart. Patting a child on the back and letting them know they did a good job elicits a smile.

• Cook with love. Make foods that you know people dear to you appreciate and crave.

• Do something unexpected but highly appreciated. Perhaps bring a new game for the kids or take everyone outside on a nature walk. Share photos of recent work you have done. Interview family for a future archived family video.

• Don’t take others for granted. If your family is small enough, write a hand-written card for each one letting them know what you specifically appreciate about them.

• Turn off your devices and be present with others.

Enjoy your holidays by expressing gratitude from your heart.

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Could Ecotherapy (Being in Nature) Relieve Your Stress?

Nature: Free and Easy Cure to Anxiety and Depression

Did you know that most Americans suffer from nature deficit disorder? A typical American spends 80-90% of their time indoors- and sadly too much of that time is spent sitting. The more time people spend inside, the more anxious an depressed they get. The solution is simple and free: spend time outside in nature. Doing so can:

• Cut anxiety and depression

• Boost feelings of well-being

• Improve your health and reduce blood pressire

• Increase your social interaction with others

• Improve your breathing and intake of Vitamin D if you spend 20 minutes in the sun

Gardeners have long understood this, as having your hands in soil relieves stress and connects you to the earth. Doing so helps you get out of your head and your worries, and enables you to focus on the present- one of the keys to being happier.

David Strayer, a psychologist at the University of Utah, takes students out in nature to reconnect with their creative problem-solving and mental clarity. With so many distractions and constant technological stimulation, our brains get tired and don’t function as clearly as they should. His backpacking group of Outward Bound participants did 50 percent better on creative problem-solving after only three days in the wilderness.1

So the next time you are feeling down or overwhelmed, get outside in nature. Just 20 minutes can revive your body, mind and spirit.

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http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2017/07/13/ecotherapy.aspx?utm_source=dnl&utm_medium=email&utm_content=art1&utm_campaign=20170713Z1_UCM&et_cid=DM150364&et_rid=2078706039

Are You So Busy That Nothing Gets Done?

“Busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to.” Rob Bell

Too Busy for Life?

My next book is on women and overwhelm, and I find that in general, with the digital world being on 24/7, we have so much more to do. And less time to do it. And than results in major stress and burnout. I know what it feels like to have worked hard for 8 hours and wonder at the end of the day, what did I get done? Here are a few cures:

The Solution to Busyness

• Do a Data Dump In the course Managing Accelerated Productivity, I learned how to do a data dump. Write down everything you have to get done in every area of your life. The list is usually several pages. Afterwards, organize it into categories: Urgent, Important, Someday Maybe, Next Week, Next Month, etc. And then schedule each item in your calendar. The Someday/Maybe need not be scheduled, but write it somewhere so your mind won’t have to carry it around. (Evernote is a great app for this.) )It helpa to actually write it all out and then highlight it in your favorite colored marker when you have assigned a time and date to it. Your little kid inside loves that!

• Evaluate your calendar Are you too busy because you want to be? Are there things you should be saying no to? How much of your day is driving your kids to activities or wasted in meaningless meetings? Take back your time.

• Use smarts tools Kanbanflow®, Sanebox® and other software can help with your time management, email and overwhelm. Try different apps and strategies to save yourself time.

• Accept the Inevitable We will never get it all done because there is not enough time in the day and because we want a good quality of life. Life balance is important. Realize some tasks are less meaningful and just won’t happen. And that’s ok. Delegate, decide not to do and enjoy your life.

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Overwhelmed? How to Regain Focus

Do You Have Cognitive Overload?

“Information overload is a symptom of our desire to not focus on what’s important. It is a choice.” Brian Solis

We receive so much data that we can barely comprehend all that is coming into our minds. Right now, you may be thinking about your next meeting, responding to a text, planning your tweets for the day and answering a call. Whew- no wonder we have information overload. Our brains are overwhelmed with all the distractions.

A recent Stanford study found that those who spend lots of time on social media, surfing the Internet and multi-tasking had poor cognitive skills. They could not distinguish well between what was important and what was trivial. “They are suckers for irrelevancy.”

How to Regain Focus:

In his book, Search Inside Yourself. Chade-Meng Tan of Google, shares some keys to regaining cognitive clarity.

• Monitor what you read and how you do it– If you find your mind wandering while reading, bring your attention back to what you are doing. Keep practicing this skill.

• Use active listening Have someone speak for 3 minutes and you listen, Then repeat back to the person with the preface ” What you said is important. Do you mind if I repeat it back to see if I have it right?” (People LOVE this- they love to be heard.)

A few tips from me:

• Do 1 thing at a time. That’s it. One thing and do it well and complete it. Take satisfaction and then move on to the next one thing. Your focus will improve. Multi-tasking is terrible for your brain.

• Go tech free for a day this weekend. Lots of research show the value of this. It’s like rebooting your brain.

• Get quiet and go outside in nature. Life becomes much simpler away from the office and computer.

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The Most Important Thing to Do Today

Is Not Necessarily What Your Boss Wants You to Do

Setting priorities in today’s world can be challenging. All of us have so many demands on us and managing multiple priorities can be like juggling with boxing gloves on- something’s sure to fall.

The place to start is with meaning. What is most important to you in your life? Is it taking care of your family? Making more money? Prestige? Being the top of your field? Showing your wife or husband that you love them? Getting a new promotion? Being there for your kids since your parents were not there for you? What drives you?

If it is taking care of your family, then it may well mean doing what your boss wants you to get done first and foremost, so long as you can leave work on time to get to your son’s baseball game. If you want to be the top in your field, you are going to have to work harder than others, study more, advance yourself and spend a good deal of time away from home. Is that Ok with you?

We recently took time off from work to visit my brother and his family for my nephew’s high school graduation. It was a lot of driving (16 hours) but it was worth it. That’s him with me in the photo. It was meaningful for me to be there.

The critical element here is you and your joy and purpose. Know what gives you meaning. Know what drives you. And then prioritize your day to fulfill that meaning. Otherwise, you will burn out and not be good to anyone.

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Give the Gift of Your Presence

: Me and Cinderella

Be Here Now

In the US, we celebrated Mother’s Day yesterday. My own mother died when I was 21, after a long terminal illness. I still miss her delectible meals, artistic talent and haunting beauty. While she ill, I was cared for by an incredible woman named Cinderella. I was so blessed to have her in my life. She gave me my love, my hugs, my values and my unconditional support. Sadly, she died a few years ago of Alzheimers. I am so grateful I got to see her before she died, and she knew who I was. Those moments meant everything.

We’re in the season of so many celebrations, weddings, graduations, birthdays.
Be sure you give a meaningful gift, one of your physical presence. Without distractions, your presence can meet more to someone than any store-bought gift.

How to Make Your Visit More Memorable

• Turn off your cell phone, beeper, and any electronics when you are with your loved one. No TV’s either.

• Make eye contact most all the time you are there. Lean in and let the person know you are truly listening. Feed back what they have said and ask them questions about it.

• Spend some meaningful time. 10 minutes is not enough. You know what is.

• Do things for this person that they can’t do themselves. Help them out with grace and dignity.

After this kind of visit, both of you will feel the love.

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Dignity and Respect- For Yourself and Others

Helping Others Needs to Be a Two Way Street

Most of us have been raised thinking it’s appropriate to be generous, kind, loving and helpful to others. In in today’s world with so much suffering, we are increasingly asked to reach out and help. And if we can and are willing to do so, without strings attached, we should. Sharing the wealth of heart and wallet is a good thing.

But the key here is to do so while allowing the other person to have dignity. Every human being has a sense of pride and self-worth, and truly no one wants to beg for assistance if they can help it. When giving aid in any form, whether it’s advice, money, clothing or food, be sure to allow the recipient to have dignity.

Kevin Hall, in his wonderful book Aspire, explains it eloquently when he tells the story of Pravin and “genshai.” Genshai means never treating another person in a way that would make them feel small. So if you are giving money to a beggar, you don’t toss a coin to them, you get down to their level, look them in the eye and smile. Then you give them the money and say “bless you.” You are treating them with respect.

An interesting twist on this is to practice genshai with yourself. Never treat yourself in a way that would make you feel small. And most of us do this regularly. We criticize ourselves mercilessly, judging our actions and finding fault. All that does is lower our self-esteem and create guilt and resentment patterns against ourselves. If you feel you did something in a less than perfect way, forgive yourself and move on. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others.

___________________

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Recharge Your Brain with Down Time

“We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly -spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.” Susan Taylor

Access Your Creativity Through Quiet Time

Most busy professionals have very little time for themselves. Deadlines, quotas, meetings, family, life obligations all take a toll on our personal time. Your brain never turns off. You probably have “cerebral congestion.”

Recent study by LexisNexis of 1,700 white collar workers in the U.S., China, South Africa, the U.K. and Australia showed employees spend more than half their workdays receiving and managing data rather than using it to do their jobs; 50% confessed that they were reaching a breaking point.
Most of our best ideas come from quiet time. Many great concepts that later became life-improving products originated in the shower. Several companies encourage employees to take one day a week to work on whatever project they want- whether it’s part of their job description or not. Some of these companies’ best innovations resulted. But if there’s no time, no quiet space, no daydreaming, there’s very little room for innovation.

How Can You Get More Quiet Time?

• cut down on meetings and shorten them. Ask- could this be accomplished in an email or memo? Make a guideline that all meetings get done in 15 minutes or less. Tell people in advance to laser their thoughts.

• exercise nearly every day-and instead of watching TV, talking on the phone or reading emails while you’re doing it, just be quiet. Play soothing environmental music. Or get outside. Let your brain wander while you are in nature.

• sleep at least 7 hours a night. Sleep is critical to your overall health, well-being and memory. In true restful sleep, your brain synthesizes through various levels of consciousness and replenishes itself. The quiet of sleep is absolutely necessary for sanity, not to mention performance and achievement.

• meditate. Even if it is only for 10 minutes a day, taking the time to be quiet and go inside, listen, and breathe deeply can give the brain a vital rest.

• take your vacation time. In 2013, most Americans left 4 vacation days on the table. No laptops or emails or phone calls on vacation. Be truly off the grid and come back refreshed and revitalized.

• get outside in nature. The new field of ecopsychology demonstrates that spending time in nature relaxes the brain, restores the body and spirit.

Your brain has great wisdom and gifts to share with you. It can only do so when it truly has a chance to recharge. Give it that time.

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It’s Not about YOU!

Other People’s Behavior is ALWAYS about Them!

I recently had lunch with two great women who have achieved substantial success in life and business. However, like so many people, they were taking way too much responsibility for others. As I speak around the country about burn-out, I see this trend over and over.

You are NOT responsible for the actions of others. If someone comes into work in a bad mood, it’s not your fault. Nor do you have to fix it. Women in particular are great “fixers.” Stop. Focus your energy and attention on being the best you can be, and let go of worrying about the behavior of others. You can’t control them anyway, and you certainly cannot change them. Let every individual make their own choices.

How to Stay Clear of Over-Responsibility

• Don’t Take it Personally If someone is rude, short-tempered or curt with you, recognize it’s about them. They may have been in a fight or lost a loved one or been cut off in traffic. It’s not about YOU.

• Take a Good Look at Your Schedule How much of it is taking on others’ tasks and responsibilities? Have you over-committed? Are you doing the work others should be doing? Stop, renegotiate those commitments, and don’t take on anything that isn’t yours.

• Lighten Up Life is so hard if you continually worry about others’ opinions and problems. Yes, it is appropriate to give back to the community and do service work. But not at the expense of your health and well-being. Focus first on your life, your needs and your issues, and allow yourself to relax and have joy, freedom and peace of mind.

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Women are More Stressed Than Men

According to American Psychological Association’s Work and Well-Being Survey,women are more stressed than ever.

• 37% of women feel stressed at work, versus 33% of men.
• Only 48% of women feel work is an equal playing field for both genders, while 54% of men do.
• Only 43% of women feel they are paid enough, compared to 48% of men.
• Only 35% of women feel they have the chance to move up, versus 43% of men.
•To manage their stress, 34% of women say they have enough resources to do so versus 38% of men.
Women are under greater pressure in part because they are responsible for an increased share of their households’ earnings and because they are still trying to juggle more of the home workload.

How to Reduce Your Stress:

• Get at least 7 hours of sleep a night. Any less and the World Health Organization labels it a carcinogen. You carry an extra 20 pounds of weight and are 3 times more likely to catch a cold or flu.

• Drink water- lots of it. 80% of North Americans are dehydrated, and that leads to overeating, high blood pressure, and sleep disturbance.

• Exercise in a fun way, preferably with a buddy- at least 4 times a week. All it takes is 15 minutes. Exercise is good for you on so many levels, especially as a stress reliever.

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