Kindlings: How to Deliver Bad News

A common issue I have encountered working with hundreds of speaking and training clients all over the US is failure to deliver bad news in a timely manner.

Most people don’t deliver bad news because they are afraid of the reaction. They know the co-worker, employer or customer will be unhappy, maybe even angry. And yet all of those reactions are so much worse the longer you delay. There are keys to delivering bad news quickly in a way that’s designed to minimize fallout and prevent big reactions.

What to Do:

• Prepare Do your homework. Get as much information as you can. Get all the facts and have solutions to the issue already in mind.

• In person and timely If at all possible, go and deliver the news in person and do it immediately. Never deliver bad news in snail mail or email. It’s cowardly.

• Be direct, clear and honest Tell them exactly what’s happening, why and what you can do about it.

• Demonstrate Empathy and Compassion Acknowledge that this is upsetting to them. Truly listen and say things like, “I understand.”

• Show them a way out- a positive solution. Spend most of the conversation on the solution and how this will help them. If you don’t have one, brainstorm with them about possible ways to resolve the issue.

• Key words to avoid and to say instead (from Kristin Robertson, KR Consulting)

AVOID THESE SAY INSTEAD

“ You should” “We can do this together- let me show you”

“ You can’t” “One alternative for you would be”

“ I can’t” “Here’s what I CAN do for you”

“ No” “I’m sorry- that’s not possible because”

Always reference what’s in it for them.

• Listen fully and correct any misunderstandings. Get your information and promises correct and keep them to the letter.

• Ask for their continued support and willingness to work with you. Express your sincere desire to have an ongoing positive relationship and ask them to give you the chance to make it right.

All of us face challenges and problems in our businesses, and we all have bad news to give at some time. The way you do it makes all the difference in the outcome.

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The Worst Boss You Ever Had

Could Teach You A Few Things

Over 30 years ago, I had a boss who regularly came in and yelled at the staff. For no reason. He just vented his anger at the world onto his staff. And yet he was brilliant, creative, andvery effective at sales. But he was not so good at managing and retaining employees. No matter how terrific the rest of the job is, if you’re being screamed at for no reason, that verbal abuse will drive you away. Few people can tolerate constant demeaning.

Here’s what I learned from him:

• NEVER be a yeller. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t days when you’re stressed and frustrated, but don’t take it out on the people you work with. If you’re that upset, go for a walk, go workout, get in your car with the windows up and yell there. Just not at people. Ever. Really. It’s abusive.

• Positive specific praise and reinforcement goes a long way. Most people like public recognition and like being told specifically what they did well. If you really want to thank someone, give them a written note as well; these are rare and amazingly effective. Sticky notes work, too.

• Financial reward only works so far. Continual humiliation, denigration, verbal abuse and difficult work environment will drive out even the most dedicated achievers away. If you want to retain good people, treat them well.
Find out what is important to them and reward accordingly.

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Make the Most of Your Millenial Employees

Millenials are one of the fastest growing employee groups worldwide, and they have the most customer interaction of any age segment. Managers often wonder how to motivate them, since they crave flexibility and meaning. Here are a few tips from expert Jason Dorsey:

• Give them at least 10 seconds of specific feedback a month from a senior person (they like communication)

• Make their first day at work memorable; start them on a less stressful day than Monday and pair them with a same gender peer for the office tour (they’ll ask better questions)

• Honor their birthday in a special way as they like to celebrate all month long

• Coach them to ask for opportunities to demonstrate their potential; they want to grow and move up

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Expect the Best of Others at Work and at Home

Are Looking for the Good or the Bad?

Remember the astonishing statistic that 88% of American workers NEVER receive thanks for the work they have done? Some managers expect the worst of their employees. They are constantly micromanaging them, looking for errors, hoping to catch them in a mistake. This is one of the most destructive ways to lead. Daniel Pink’s book Drive cites studies that show employees want autonomy, competence (the ability to improve) and a sense of purpose to their work. State very clearly in writing what you expect of your people, review it with them so they understand. Show them the purpose and meaning behind their work. Support and empower them to do their jobs and expect them to succeed.

The same is true at home. Expect the best of your children; don’t be suspicious and fearful. Let them know you believe in them, and their abilities. Become their cheerleader in all areas. You’ll be astonished at the results.

 ©2012 Snowden McFall All Rights Reserved. No duplication 
or reprinting without permission and author reference

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Sick Days Are Legitimate

Why Recovery Is a Leadership Responsibility

My husband once came down with a severe cold after working long hours under sustained pressure. Like many professionals, he rarely took sick days. But this time, he tried to push through and simply could not.

Twice he went to work, came home, and went straight to bed. He had no energy left to manage anything beyond recovery. And that was exactly what his body needed.

In many work cultures, pushing through illness is treated as commitment. In reality, it often accelerates exhaustion, resentment, and long-term burnout.

Why Sick Days Matter More Than We Admit

Sick days are legitimate. When someone is ill, recovering from surgery, or deeply exhausted, stepping away is not indulgence. It is necessary recovery. Time away from constant pressure allows the nervous system and immune system to stabilize.

For leaders and employers, this matters operationally as well. Supporting appropriate recovery reduces long-term health claims, prevents burnout-driven turnover, and protects institutional knowledge. Replacing an employee is far more costly than allowing them to recover fully.

Burnout often develops because recovery is delayed too long. Recognizing the legitimacy of rest is one of the earliest and most effective ways to prevent it.

Learn how leaders can intervene before exhaustion becomes burnout at Prevent Burnout.

Taking care of people is not a perk. It is leadership.

Fire Up Your People By Including Them

Appreciate Your Employees & Give Them Feedback

In a study conducted by USA Today a few years back, the top three things that employees want are: interesting work, appreciation and being “in” on things. The U.S. Dept. of Labor said 46% of all people who quit do so because they felt they are not appreciated for the work they do. And James Howard discovered that when asked what their boss or supervisor says when they finish a task or project, 92% said their supervisor said nothing! 88% of Americans say they are never thanked for their work.

What all this data means is that employees are HUNGRY for positive feedback. And so are we as human beings. We have a tendency to be very hard on ourselves and judge ourselves severely.

Daniel Pink, the author of Drive, says humans are motivated by autonomy, mastery and purpose.

Sometimes, the greatest thing you can do in a given day is give your employees or co-workers a few minutes of sincere, specific praise. Try something as simple as “Thanks for the good work on that project” or “I really appreciated your comments in the meeting today-they were valuable.” All too many employers save up their kind words for bonus time, instead of sharing them throughout the year. Connect their work to the greater purpose they have, give them greater control over what they do, and help them become better at it.

Employees hate to be ignored, to be left out, and to feel unappreciated. Be sure you take excellent care of your people, or you may lose them.

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 ©2011 Snowden McFall All Rights Reserved. No duplication 
or reprinting without permission and author reference