Resolving Conflict with Non-Violent Communication

Non-Violent Communication as a way to reduce stressOne of the most profound and powerful books I have ever read is Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Written by a man who has negotiated between Palestinians and Israelis, gang war members, business associates and married couples, this book holds the key to getting what you want out of good relationships.

Seemingly simple, his concept has 4 major components for any meaningful conversations.

1. Observe what the other person is doing or saying without judgment or blame ex: "I heard you had a loud discussion with that customer. Sounded like everyone was upset."

2. State how we feel when we observe this action: "I get nervous when I hear difficult customer conversations because I am worried about us losing the business. Maintaining good relationships is very important to our work."

3. State your needs. "We need to keep every customer happy and add new business. Satisfied customers refer other customers.That's how we keep this company going. "

4. Make a request: "I'd like to help you deal with those difficult customers.  Next time an upset customer calls, would you be willing to simply listen,  let them know you understand and will get back to them and not lose your temper?  Then you can come discuss the issue with me and we'll resolve it."

The technique requires honesty, thoughtfulness and empathy, but it has very powerful results.  When I first started using the technique with my husband, we were amazed. Both of us used the tools, and  felt deeply honored and cared about. It has deepened an already rich relationship and I have seen the same thing with my clients.

Read the book and put it into practice- and let me know your great results.

@2011 Snowden McFall.  All Rights Reserved. No duplication without permission




Celebrating Small Successes for Stress Relief & Happiness

At the end of each day, record 10 small successes you’ve had that day. Anything you intended to do and did is a success. Catch yourself in the act of doing things right and see how much
happier and more fulfilled you are.

My birthday is in July and it was a joy to celebrate twice, once with women friends at lunch and then at a party my husband threw for me.  Celebrating life's little moments of success and joy is so important to our stress levels, happiness and overall performance at work.  It's rare that the huge successes happen; what matters is to acknowledge all the small achievements you have every day.

Cheering women
I love this quote from Norman Lear:

“Success is how you collect your minutes.
You spend millions of minutes to reach one triumph,
one moment,
then you spend maybe a thousand minutes
enjoying it.
If you are unhappy through those millions of minutes,
what good are the thousands of minutes of triumph?
It doesn’t equate.
Life is made up of small pleasures,
Happiness is made up of those tiny successes.
The big ones come too infrequently.
If you don’t have  all those
zillions of tiny successes,
the big ones don’t mean anything.”
Norman Lear
Here's a tip: at the end of each day, record 10 small successes you've had that day. Anything you intended to do and did is a success.  Catch yourself in the act of doing things right and see how much
happier and more fulfilled you are.

Cut Your Stress by Eliminating Clutter

Are you aware that every pile of clutter in your office or home is sapping your energy? ? Every book you have not finished reading, every article you not have finished, every corner of clutter registers inside as an incomplete.

These incompletions drain you and your energy, which could be better used on highMan overwhelmed by clutter- he needs Stress Express results tasks.

There are several books on the market which can help.  Julie Morgenstern and I shared the platform in  NY, and her bestselling book Organizing From the Inside Out is a great place to start.

For the future, create file folders every time you pull an article, label it and file it away in a reference file cabinet.

Go through your mail just once and create a reading file.  Take that file with you on airplanes and throw out what you don't want.

Give clothes you haven't worn in a year to Good Will or Dress for Success.  We have a garage section at the recycling center where we can take good items we no longer have a need for. I've donated old rugs, chairs, lamps, etc. and within 5 minutes, someone else has taken it for themselves.

Free up the space around you and you will find your mind is freer to handle all your important business matters.

@2011 Snowden McFall.  All Rights Reserved. No duplication without permission