Is Lack of Boundaries Stressing You Out?

Posted on May 30, 2016 by Snowden McFall

You Must Set Limits on Your Time and Energy

Stress Express; Family FightingMary’s mother demanded enormous amounts of her time, even though she was perfectly healthy.  Instead of declining all the requested visits, Mary spent way too much time with her mother, ignoring her job, husband and health.  She ended up sick and could not work. She desperately needed boundaries.

I often see very bright, accomplished professionals who are completely overwhelmed by the demands on their lives- especially women.  With high pressure jobs, families, friends, volunteer work and aging parents, most of these folks are so stressed they are close to their breaking point.  How can this be fixed?  By setting healthy boundaries.

How to Set Boundaries:

• Start valuing your own time.  Before you commit to anything, personal or professional, ask yourself these questions:

1. Do I want to do this?
2. Am I capable of doing this?
3. Is it the highest and best use of my time?
4. What do I have to give up to do this?
5. What happens if I don’t say yes?
6. Will this stress me out further?

• Learn to say NO.  When yet another volunteer opportunity comes your way, say “I appreciate your thinking of me.,  I only want to give you my best effort, and right now, I can’t.  May I recommend…. for this?”

• Value Your Own Need for Downtime  You cannot be effective at your job, at home, as a parent, partner or friend if you are burnt-out. Play time, quiet time, nap time, meditation time- all of these give your brain critically needed detoxification.  Furthermore, you are more likely to come up with new creative solutions when you step away from the work and relax.

Set boundaries and don’t allow others to take advantage of you- you will be much happier and less stressed

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How’s Your EQ?

Posted on August 21, 2015 by Snowden McFall

The Key to More Effective Relationships at Home and Work

Listening handshakeOracle Vice President Meg Bear says empathy is the critical 21st century skill. In an article in Fortune Magazine, business experts cite emotional intelligence as one of the most needed business skillsets for the coming decades.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

It’s the ability to be aware of and manage the emotions of yourself and others, and constructively communicate as a good team member.

Those will poor self-awareness tend to be brusque, rude, narcissistic, critical and rigid . Those with poor self-management react strongly, yell, interrupt and disrespect others. Those with poor self-motivation procrastinate, blame others.

 Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

• Become an excellent listener. Don’t interrupt, have open body language and
don’t check your cellphone while listening.  Give full eye contact and attention. Summarize what they said and ask questions.

• Develop greater empathy.  Show caring, even if you haven’t have the same experience.  You can say things like “That sounds hard for you.” “I understand this is difficult.”

• Get to know yourself more.  There are great books out like Strengths-Finder
and plenty of free personality tests on line.  Discover your strengths and areas for improvement.  Often work conflicts are the result of personality differences.

Workplace problems• Pay attention to the body language of others.  What is not being verbally said?

• Be a source of positive encouragement to others. Find the good.

Those are just a quick start on how to improve.  Put them into practice and watch your life get better.

 

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Stress-Free Relationships at Work

Posted on March 6, 2015 by Snowden McFall

Fired Up presenterThe Golden Rule
as a Way to Reduce Stress

I hear all too often about backstabbing, selfishness, and silhos at work.
And the truth is, none of us can get our jobs done alone. We all need others to help and life is so much more pleasant, effective and profitable when we place nicely with others. People will go the extra mile for those they feel care about them. They will work late and do overtime and jump through hoops if they believe you truly care.

How to Build Better Working Relationships

• Be kind. You have no idea what others are going through in their personal lives.

• Smile and sincerely ask others how they are.

• Share news which will impact others quickly. Come up with solutions to a mutual problem before you even tell them. Be empathetic.

• Praise others specifically 92% of American workers say that when they finish a project, their boss says NOTHING! Don’t be one of those managers. Thank your people and acknowledge what they have done.

• Do it in writing- thanking others with a written note card goes a long way.

• Share openly with others and invite them to do the same. You don’t have to parade your personal problems, but show your vulnerability and authenticity. Be a real person and others will respond.

• Encourage laughter, not at anyone’s expense. People are more effective in a safe, fun work environment. Part of how you create that is to make the job enjoyable. Good will goes a long way.

 

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Want to Get Fired Up?

Posted on October 7, 2014 by Snowden McFall

October is International Fired Up! Month

Fired Up CoverLR“Enthusiasm is the greatest asset you can possess, for it can take you further than money, power or influence.” Dada Vaswani

 I created this month in 1997 to celebrate attitude and success. Your positive attitude determines your success in life, and we know from the research that optimists sell 56% more than pessimists, and are more effective leaders.

You can Host a Fired Up! week at work or in your community. employees, students or association members can:

• maintain a daily success list of all you accomplish
• share inspirational music, movies, quotesl books or stories (movies like Dolphin Tale 1 and 2 or the Blind Side, The Butler, Mr. Holland’s Opus are all good starters)
• talk about their dreams and goals, successes, victories
• form Fired Up! Inspiration Circles where they support each other’s dreams
• track group individual successes on a Fired Up! bulletin board/ victory wall.
• participate in a community service event on Make a Difference Day, Oct 25, 2014!

Be sure this is a sincere and meaningful exercise and give special attention to it. Let your people know you value them and encourage their positive attitude. People who know they are valued as human beings are more loyal and productive.

“Enthusiasm spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.” Norman Vincent Peale

Oct 25 Chamber All Council Community Involvement Project

If you live in the Jacksonville Fl area, participate with me in a park clean-up, painting and education project.

Playground EquipmentThis morning project will include:
• painting the picnic shelter
• building benches
• painting the utility building and
kids’ log cabin
• adding flowers to the playground
• converting the shuffleboard court into educational hopscotch areas with colorful paint and stencils.
Location is Home Gardens Park, 6367 Mockingbird Rd., Jacksonville. If you would like to join me, whether you are a chamber member or not, go here to sign up: http://www.signupgenius.com/go/60b0f4fa8ac2aa46-october

You can make a difference, too, and reap the rewards of volunteering. It’s an amazing stress reliever, You help others and you help yourself. It truly gets you Fired Up!

Have a great weekend and get Fired Up!
Snowden
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Never Be Late Again

Posted on July 28, 2014 by Snowden McFall

Clock from Stress ExpressAre you one of those people who is chronically late?  Who always rushes from place to place and leaves people waiting on you, creating tension before you even start?  Do you realize that being late is actually a broken agreement, that it says to the person you are meeting “You are not important enough to me to be on time.”  It’s unfair, insulting and unprofessional, and that’s so not like you.

How to Be on Time

• Choose and prioritize.  Make the decision to be early instead of late. Set your clock 15 minutes ahead, set your phone alarm to beep you 15 minutes before you have to leave and then 5 minutes so that you make it on time.  Use whatever little tricks you have to get out the door in plenty of time.

• Plan on delays, in traffic, in elevators, in subways, etc.  Life is like that, so build in a time cushion.  I have a meeting this morning that takes me 1/2 hour to get to- without traffic glitches.  So I will leave at 45 minutes before to give myself a 15 minute cushion. If you’re early, stay in your car and get things done before you go in.  Showing up 5 minutes early is fine, 15 is probably too much.

• Call when you are running behind.  Demonstrate respect for the person you are meeting. Give them an accurate assessment of when you will arrive.

• Prep for meetings and events the night before.  Have everything you need all set to go. That saves scrambling around at the last minute.

• Have one place in your house for keys, cellphones, etc.  Leave your keys there.  This prevents last minute rushing and looking for lost items.

Once you make the commitment to be on time, you will find the quality of your relationships improves and you will feel better about yourself, instead of guilt and ashamed.  You’re capable and competent, you know how to handle this.  Just do it and reap the rewards.

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It’s Not about YOU!

Posted on May 27, 2014 by Snowden McFall

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-business-woman-cubicle-overworked-stressed-image5934154Other People’s Behavior is ALWAYS about Them!

I  recently had lunch with two great women who have achieved substantial success in life and business.  However, like so many people, they were taking way too much responsibility for others.  As I speak around the country about burn-out, I see this trend over and over.

You are NOT responsible for the actions of others. If someone comes into work in a bad mood, it’s not your fault.  Nor do you have to fix it.  Women in particular are great “fixers.”  Stop.  Focus your energy and attention on being the best you can be, and let go of worrying about the behavior of others. You can’t control them anyway, and you certainly cannot change them.  Let every individual make their own choices.

How to Stay Clear of Over-Responsibility

• Don’t Take it Personally  If someone is rude, short-tempered or curt with you, recognize it’s about them.  They may have been in a fight or lost a loved one or been cut off in traffic. It’s not about YOU.

• Take a Good Look at Your Schedule  How much of it is taking on others’ tasks and responsibilities?  Have you over-committed?  Are you doing the work others should be doing?  Stop, renegotiate those commitments, and don’t take on anything that isn’t yours.

• Lighten Up  Life is so hard if you continually worry about others’ opinions and problems. Yes, it is appropriate to give back to the community and do service work.  But not at the expense of your health and well-being. Focus first on your life, your needs and your issues, and allow yourself to relax and have joy, freedom and peace of mind.

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The 1 Key to Great Presentations

Posted on April 16, 2014 by Snowden McFall

Do This and You Cannot Fail

AYP4LRSo many people ask me as a professional speaker how to overcome nervousness and anxiety about public speaking.

And the answer is really simple: PREPARATION.  The more you prepare in 4 ways, the more likely you will be confident, relaxes and effective in your speaking.

#1 Prepare your material
Know what you are going to say inside and out.  Research it, cite  sources, know your facts, and most of all, have great stories. People love stories and they remember them.

#2 Prepare your audience.  Get to know them in advance.  What are they worried about?  How you can help them with your material?  What are their victories and can you share about them?  Can you make them heroes? Ask questions, get their participation, enroll them in using social media, if appropriate, with hashtags, etc.

# 3 Prepare your space.  Know where you will be presenting and if possible, control the room set.  Make it easy for everyone to see you, and if you use AV, make sure it works. I don’t encourage people to use Powerpoint® because it can be so boring.  Instead, give action worksheets and get your audience involved with your speech.

#4 Prepare yourself. Practice what you are going to say in front of friends and get their feedback.  Don’t memorize- it’s fine to have notes.  Tell stories and demonstrate a sense of humor. Have lines ready for when you flub up.  Your ability to laugh at yourself shows confidence and relaxes the audience.  They want you to succeed. Pick professional clothes that show off your best features.  Be polished and ready.  Smile and be yourself.

Now go fire them up!

 

For more information about how to present , check out my latest new audio CD and mp3.

Fire Up! Your Presentation Skills!
(especially helpful for Introverts)

HAPPINESS CD1 artMost everyone gets nervous when they have to give a presentation. In this comprehensive audio, you’ll learn:

• how to overcome fear, no matter who you have to speak to
• the most important things to know as you prepare
• the best tools to relax while you are speaking
• how to harness the power of body language
• the winning formula for a good speech
• how even introverts can become excellent speakers

Only  $20.00 mp3

$20.00 mp3

 

 

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Easiest Way to Make More Money

Posted on April 11, 2014 by Snowden McFall

 

Businessmen HandshakeOne of the most important dimensions of any marketing plan should be customer retention. The best way to keep your business healthy and keep your business growing is to take excellent care of your existing customers.  They are your best source of referrals and future work.

Even if the primary work you have done for them has been completed, check in regularly- at least once every 4-6 weeks.  Educate your customers, send them articles, post information on your web site, send out ezines, stay connected through social media. Have lunch when you can.  Send them greeting cards. Be a constant resource for them.

Let them know you value you them. Always thank them for referrals- write personal notes and let them know how much you appreciate their business.

Never, ever, take them for granted.

 

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5 Ways to Fire Up Your Sales

Posted on February 3, 2014 by Snowden McFall

Ignite Your Sales with These Quick Tips 

Never push a prospect- add value.

Never force or manipulate- demonstrate listening and caring.

Businessmen Handshake1.Truly listen to your customers
Everyone wants to be heard, and appreciated. Ask what their needs and concerns are, find out what successes they have had, focus on them and do whatever you can to help, even if it means you don’t get the sale, this time.  Be a valued resource and trusted advisor.

2. Use stories and customer testimonials –   Give examples of real people who have had a problem you solved. Tell the truth. And use customer testimonials to back up your stories. Always get written permission.  Here’s an example from one of my speaking programs: “Snowden McFall, may I personally say what a fabulous speaker you are. We all enjoyed your keynote speech. Productivity is certainly the topic of the decade. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.” Mary Fisher – I asked her permission to use and she said absolutely.

3. WIFT Always focus on the benefits to that particular customer.  What is in it for them?  Why choose you over all the other competitors out there?  Demonstrate you understand their needs, fears and pain points and show you have
proven solutions for them.

4. Overcome objections by raising them yourself.
You know what the push-back is.  Overcome it by demonstrating why the objection is not valid, or how you have resolved it.  Show you think like they do.

5. Have genuine enthusiasm for your products or service. Nothing sells like genuine enthusiasm- it is rare and it is contagious.  Get Fired Up! about what you are sharing and keep that top of mind. Your Fire will spread and ignite theirs.

 

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The Ideal Jobs for Low Stress

Posted on January 7, 2014 by Snowden McFall

What Job is Right for You?

Do you thrive on uncertainty, love a challenge, and like the unexpected?
Or do you prefer consistency, even keel projects, predictable outcomes?
Your answer will determine which job style is right for you.

2 womenwhiteLRCareerCast.com has recently done a study on the jobs with the lowest stress levels.  Those include audiologists, dieticians, medical records technicians, hair stylists, university professors with tenure, multi-media artists, librarians and jewelers.

The ones with the most stress include jobs with unexpected and unpredictable conditions, like police, firefighters, airline pilots, military, newspaper reporter and taxi drivers.

For a complete look at the article, and expected growth in job categories,
go here: http://abcnews.go.com/Business/stressful-jobs/story?id=21441041#

For a free report on how to get and stay Fired Up!, go here http://firedupnow.com/top20tips/

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