Guest Post- Feeling Overwhelmed

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-business-woman-cubicle-overworked-stressed-image5934154You are not alone. Many friends and clients have said they are feeling overwhelmed right now. I am right there with you too. This past month if not longer, time seems to be moving faster, opportunities are growing, projects to be completed are increasing, and the flurry of activity seems to be everywhere and growing at light speed. It has been challenging. I searched for and tried many different techniques to handle everything on my plate. What I discovered is the power of two seemingly opposite ideas: discipline and letting go.

Discipline is the obvious choice for handling chaos. The more things get out of control, the more one needs to be disciplined in their actions. This is a time for routine, checklists, scheduling, and time management. This is a time to be aware of distractions and to recommit one’s focus to what is important. This is a time to maintain those practices which aid execution and resist the easy bandage quick fixes which actually slow things down.

This is also the time for letting go. Let go of the idea you need to do it alone. Let go of the idea that you are solely responsible for the results. Let go of any emotional investment in the outcome. Let go of the thought that it has to be hard. Let go of the attitude that it is too much. Let go of thinking that once this is all over then you will relax. Let go of the belief that you have to put your life on hold to take care of the tasks at hand.

Discipline and letting go are about listening to your needs. When things get busy, it is an easy choice to give up those things that are for our wellbeing in exchange for time to accomplish something of value. Let me be clear. Taking care of your self is the highest value. Do not give up lunch for a meeting. Do not give up your exercise routine to make more time for work. Do not exchange good healthy food for quick and easy junk food. Trading what is good for your wellbeing may give you a temporary boost in productivity, but it will not last. The healthier you are, the more clear and productive you are. I often quote Gandhi who said, “There is so much to do today. I must meditate twice as long.” The better we take care of ourselves, the more we can accomplish.

Next time you are feeling overwhelmed. Regain your discipline. Note your true priorities. Ensure your daily practices of self care are in place. Then let go of everything else. You can only accomplish so much. Trust you will finish what truly needs to be done by you at this time. Oh, and don’t forget to breathe.

Guest blog by stress reduction expert Melissa Heisler. Download a free chapter from her new book From Type A to Type Me: How to Stop “Doing” Life and Start Living It

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It’s Not about YOU!

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-business-woman-cubicle-overworked-stressed-image5934154Other People’s Behavior is ALWAYS about Them!

I  recently had lunch with two great women who have achieved substantial success in life and business.  However, like so many people, they were taking way too much responsibility for others.  As I speak around the country about burn-out, I see this trend over and over.

You are NOT responsible for the actions of others.
 If someone comes into work in a bad mood, it’s not your fault.  Nor do you have to fix it.  Women in particular are great “fixers.”  Stop.  Focus your energy and attention on being the best you can be, and let go of worrying about the behavior of others. You can’t control them anyway, and you certainly cannot change them.  Let every individual make their own choices.

How to Stay Clear of Over-Responsibility

• Don’t Take it Personally  If someone is rude, short-tempered or curt with you, recognize it’s about them.  They may have been in a fight or lost a loved one or been cut off in traffic. It’s not about YOU.

 Take a Good Look at Your Schedule  How much of it is taking on others’ tasks and responsibilities?  Have you over-committed?  Are you doing the work others should be doing?  Stop, renegotiate those commitments, and don’t take on anything that isn’t yours.

• Lighten Up  Life is so hard if you continually worry about others’ opinions and problems. Yes, it is appropriate to give back to the community and do service work.  But not at the expense of your health and well-being. Focus first on your life, your needs and your issues, and allow yourself to relax and have joy, freedom and peace of mind.

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©2014 Snowden McFall All Rights Reserved. You may share this post and reprint with author reference and copyright.

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Your Life is a Choice

Choose Wisely

 
Jack WhitingLRNot long ago, we celebrated my father-in- law’s 80th birthday in Boston.  A successful businessman who’s mostly retired, he’s a vital, vibrant man who has chosen to live life on his terms.  He plays tennis several times a week, square dances regularly and participates fully in the lives of his children and grandchildren. He has a keen mind, a loving heart, a positive attitude and is an inspiration to me and so many others. 
 
In contrast, I recently met a woman who has chosen to be miserable.  She focuses on the negative, consistently.  As we discussed families and I shared that my father had passed away a few years ago, she declared vehemently that whatever I had gone through, her experience was 10 times worse.  I wasn’t aware that is was a competition. How sad.  My heart went out to her, because she was so attached to her drama and negativity.
 
We can all get caught up in our drama and problems.  But is that truly where you want to put your focus?  What you focus on, you create more of.  I would rather create more joy, success, love and peace.  How about you?
 
“To win or lose,
To love or hate,
To try or quit,
To risk or withdraw,
To accelerate or hesitate,
To dream or stagnate,
To open or close,
To succeed or fail,
To live or die.
Everyone of these starts with a CHOICE.”

Snowden McFall

 

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Having a Pet Could Save Your Life

Pets Heal on So Many Levels

CatbeingheldLR“Cathy, Eric and their son Michael Keesling had retired early after handling a flooded basement and setting up a gasoline pump to empty it. Their beloved mellow cat, Winnie, sat in the window enjoying the sounds of the evening. All of sudden, Michael passed out in the hallway. Cathy and Eric soon lost consciousness as well, because of a gas leak. The normally gentle Winnie sprang on Cathy, pulled her hair and yowled in her ear to wake her up. Cathy kept blacking out, but Winnie insisted. Finally, Cathy called 911 and the family was rescued. If Winnie had waited 5 more minutes, they would all be dead!”

Pets are amazing healing agents and powerful lifesavers.  Trained dogs today can detect bladder cancer by sniffing urine and fire dogs can identify arsonists by smelling gasoline on their hands.  Service pets save the lives of their owners every day. They are also great stress relievers.

One study cited on WebMD found that 48 stockbrokers who adopted a pet had lower blood pressure readings under stress than non-pet owners. Another study found that those suffering from serious diseases, such  AIDS or cancer, are far less likely to be depressed if they have a strong tie to a pet.

According to the the University of Minnesota’s Stroke Research Center, simply owning a cat can cut the risk of heart attack. After studying subjects for 10 years, those who owned a cat were 40% less likely to die from heart attacks.

doglickcatLRPet ownership:

• lowers blood pressure
• prevents depression
• reduces incidence of stroke
• helps improve physical activity
• helps people be more social
• reduces loneliness.

So if you are battling stress like 80% of Americans, consider adopting a pet at a shelter.  It could save two lives- yours and theirs.

 

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Women are More Stressed Than Men

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-business-woman-cubicle-overworked-stressed-image5934154According to American Psychological Association’s  Work and Well-Being Survey,women are more stressed than ever.

• 37% of women feel stressed at work, versus 33% of men.
• Only 48% of women feel work is an equal playing field for both genders, while 54% of men do.
• Only 43% of women feel they are paid enough, compared to 48% of men.
• Only 35% of women feel they have the chance to move up, versus 43% of men.
•To manage their stress, 34% of women say they have enough resources to do so versus 38% of men.
Women are under greater pressure in part because they are responsible for an increased share of their households’ earnings and because they are still trying to juggle more of the home workload.


How to Reduce Your Stress:

Get at least 7 hours of sleep a night.   Any less and the World Health Organization labels it a carcinogen. You carry an extra 20 pounds of weight and are 3 times more likely to catch a cold or flu.

Drink water- lots of it.  80% of North Americans are dehydrated, and that leads to overeating, high blood pressure, and sleep disturbance.

Exercise in a fun way, preferably with a buddy- at least 4 times a week. All it takes is 15 minutes.  Exercise is good for you on so many levels, especially as a stress reliever.

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Are You Getting Enough Hugs to be Healthy?

You Need More Than You Think!

 

Me and Cinderella

Me and Cinderella- the woman who gave me my hugs growing up!

According to noted American pyschologist and educator, Virginia Satir, we need 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 hugs a day for maintenance, and 12 hugs a day for growth.

Most people are lucky if they get 1 or 2 hugs a day.

So up your intake and give hugs freely.  Recently, I was visiting one of the non-profits I volunteer for and talking to a little boy, stroking his back. He just leaned in for a hug, which I was more than happy to give.  We all need touch, and in this day and age, hugging can heal so much.  Take the time to give full-on, heart-felt hugs to others as a way of sharing.  The rewards for everyone are so worth it.

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Are You Stuck in a Rut instead of Fired Up?

chargebkcoverHumans Need NEW to Keep Growing 

In his  book The Charge, Brendon Bouchard has some great suggestions about staying Fired Up!   The brain is hardwired for novelty and challenge and needs to be engaged to keep thriving.  Here are a few ways to incorporate new into your life and have a Fired Up! life, filled with motivation and fun:

90 day getaway – every 90 days go away and explore someplace you have not been, doing new activities. It does not have to be expensive- it just needs to be different.

Restaurant tour; explore dining establishments  you’ve never visited, try different kinds of food.  Exploring new places will keep you motivated

Spend time with new people - go to different networking or social events and broaden your circle.

Develop new skills – At home, my husband and I just installed a new glass tile backsplash in our kitchen.  It was challenging but fun, and we love the results.

To feel more Fired Up! about life, to keep growing and keep motivated, try doing new things.

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The Surprising Source of Most Pain

Lack of Sleep Causes Many Serious Issues

sleepless

New research out of England shows that lack of sleep is the strongest predictor of pain for those over 50. Pain obviously causes more stress and makes you sleep poorly.  It’s a vicious cycle. Restless or insufficient sleep has so many negative consequences and severely impacts wellness:

• the World Health Organization has considered labeling less than 7 hours a night of sleep as a carcinogen- cancer-causing agent
• increased risk of heart disease
• fewer new brain cells created
• premature aging
• excess weight- 20 pounds usually
• 3x more susceptible to colds and flu
• greater stress and less ability to respond well to problems

Three factors influence your ability to get a good night’s sleep:
• timing- try to go to bed at the same time every night
• duration- you need at least 7 hours of sleep
• intensity- which is impacted by whether you got 30 minutes of sunshine during the day and whether your room is nice and dark at night

Be careful not to look at your ipad®, phone screen or computer before bed- leave at last an hour before bed when you shut down exposure to visual stimulants from computer screens. Your overall health and wellness depends so much on good rest.   Getting a good night’s sleep every night has a huge impact on your health, your stress levels, your body’s pain and more.  Make it priority. Your body will thank you.

 

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Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Tune into the Vibration of Happiness to Boost Yours

laughing bk preschool girl

For the past few weeks, I have been listening to the song from Despicable Me 2 called Happy by Pharrell Williams. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Sxv-sUYtM    It is almost impossible for me to listen to this song without dancing to it.  It brings up my mood and brings my focus right back to the present. And according to the Journal of Positive Psychology, it works for others, too.

What works for you?  In this article are a wide variety of researched-backed tips to help you be happy.  My favorites are go on  vacation, play with pets, and volunteer. Check out the full article below.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/07/boost-happiness_n_4532848.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

For a free report on how to get and stay Fired Up!, go here http://firedupnow.com/top20tips/

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Asking For Help is Smart

Don’t Deny Others the Chance to Assist

Holding the hand of anotherRecently, I heard from a  friend in the hospital who is critically ill.  She had been there for 5 days and was calling to let me know.  I was so grateful to know what was going on, to be able to pray for her and check on her.  I only wish she had let me know sooner. Another dear friend recently learned he has cancer, but reached out to me weeks after the diagnosis.  Those are weeks I could have been there for him, helping him sort through solutions, fear and pain.

Most of us have a tendency to put others first, and to not ask for help. And that’s a mistake.  Martyring ourselves by saying we don’t want to bother others or trouble them denies us the gifts of love and support.  We also deserve help, especially in difficult times.

Some people prefer to go off and isolate themselves while they figure things out,
and I respect that.  However, isolation can lead to depression and negative thinking, at a time when loved ones could provide compassion and understanding. Scientists have shown that reaching out to other people during a stressful event is an effective way to improve your outlook.  So your perspective could improve dramatically.

You never know- you might get some great solutions to problems you are having, connecting you with valuable resources you never knew existed.  Share your life, share with your loved ones, and allow yourself to be supported. You are worthy of it.

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