It’s Not about YOU!

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-business-woman-cubicle-overworked-stressed-image5934154Other People’s Behavior is ALWAYS about Them!

I  recently had lunch with two great women who have achieved substantial success in life and business.  However, like so many people, they were taking way too much responsibility for others.  As I speak around the country about burn-out, I see this trend over and over.

You are NOT responsible for the actions of others.
 If someone comes into work in a bad mood, it’s not your fault.  Nor do you have to fix it.  Women in particular are great “fixers.”  Stop.  Focus your energy and attention on being the best you can be, and let go of worrying about the behavior of others. You can’t control them anyway, and you certainly cannot change them.  Let every individual make their own choices.

How to Stay Clear of Over-Responsibility

• Don’t Take it Personally  If someone is rude, short-tempered or curt with you, recognize it’s about them.  They may have been in a fight or lost a loved one or been cut off in traffic. It’s not about YOU.

 Take a Good Look at Your Schedule  How much of it is taking on others’ tasks and responsibilities?  Have you over-committed?  Are you doing the work others should be doing?  Stop, renegotiate those commitments, and don’t take on anything that isn’t yours.

• Lighten Up  Life is so hard if you continually worry about others’ opinions and problems. Yes, it is appropriate to give back to the community and do service work.  But not at the expense of your health and well-being. Focus first on your life, your needs and your issues, and allow yourself to relax and have joy, freedom and peace of mind.

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Having a Pet Could Save Your Life

Pets Heal on So Many Levels

CatbeingheldLR“Cathy, Eric and their son Michael Keesling had retired early after handling a flooded basement and setting up a gasoline pump to empty it. Their beloved mellow cat, Winnie, sat in the window enjoying the sounds of the evening. All of sudden, Michael passed out in the hallway. Cathy and Eric soon lost consciousness as well, because of a gas leak. The normally gentle Winnie sprang on Cathy, pulled her hair and yowled in her ear to wake her up. Cathy kept blacking out, but Winnie insisted. Finally, Cathy called 911 and the family was rescued. If Winnie had waited 5 more minutes, they would all be dead!”

Pets are amazing healing agents and powerful lifesavers.  Trained dogs today can detect bladder cancer by sniffing urine and fire dogs can identify arsonists by smelling gasoline on their hands.  Service pets save the lives of their owners every day. They are also great stress relievers.

One study cited on WebMD found that 48 stockbrokers who adopted a pet had lower blood pressure readings under stress than non-pet owners. Another study found that those suffering from serious diseases, such  AIDS or cancer, are far less likely to be depressed if they have a strong tie to a pet.

According to the the University of Minnesota’s Stroke Research Center, simply owning a cat can cut the risk of heart attack. After studying subjects for 10 years, those who owned a cat were 40% less likely to die from heart attacks.

doglickcatLRPet ownership:

• lowers blood pressure
• prevents depression
• reduces incidence of stroke
• helps improve physical activity
• helps people be more social
• reduces loneliness.

So if you are battling stress like 80% of Americans, consider adopting a pet at a shelter.  It could save two lives- yours and theirs.

 

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The Surprising Source of Most Pain

Lack of Sleep Causes Many Serious Issues

sleepless

New research out of England shows that lack of sleep is the strongest predictor of pain for those over 50. Pain obviously causes more stress and makes you sleep poorly.  It’s a vicious cycle. Restless or insufficient sleep has so many negative consequences and severely impacts wellness:

• the World Health Organization has considered labeling less than 7 hours a night of sleep as a carcinogen- cancer-causing agent
• increased risk of heart disease
• fewer new brain cells created
• premature aging
• excess weight- 20 pounds usually
• 3x more susceptible to colds and flu
• greater stress and less ability to respond well to problems

Three factors influence your ability to get a good night’s sleep:
• timing- try to go to bed at the same time every night
• duration- you need at least 7 hours of sleep
• intensity- which is impacted by whether you got 30 minutes of sunshine during the day and whether your room is nice and dark at night

Be careful not to look at your ipad®, phone screen or computer before bed- leave at last an hour before bed when you shut down exposure to visual stimulants from computer screens. Your overall health and wellness depends so much on good rest.   Getting a good night’s sleep every night has a huge impact on your health, your stress levels, your body’s pain and more.  Make it priority. Your body will thank you.

 

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De-stress with Plants

Nature  relieves your Stress and Bringing the Outdoors in Also Helps

 

Fired Up! bamboo

Many of us know that nature
soothes the soul.  Spending time
outside by trees, listening to
the wind, perhaps water
trickling nearby.  All of that is restful and
calming in a stressed-out world.

But what you may not realize is
that having plants in your
workspace can make a huge
difference in your stress levels.

Benefits of being around plants
include:

• improved memory

• better concentration
• more patience
• better relationships

The bamboo plant I have in my office is thriving, along with my jade tree and pathos.  I highly recomment you use plants indoors and remember that you must take a break from all that technology!

Here’s the full article:

http://www.kare11.com/story/life/home-garden/2014/01/22/green-plants-in-the-workplace-and-home/4780935/

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Your Nose and Stress: How Scent Can Help

lemon & sliceLRBelieve it or not, the scent of lemon in the workplace cuts keyboard
mistakes by 50%! And while keyboard mistakes are not a huge source
of stress, they can lead to major problems when the wrong data is
put into a contract, or the wrong digit is typed into a mortgage agreement.

Fragrance is powerful. It can make a huge difference in
how you deal with 
stress.

Peppermint, cinnamon, orange or rose  fragrance revitalize you while lavender, marjoram and sandalwood relax you.
Peppermint extract on your forehead or temples can help relieve pain
immediately. It’s also great for concentration. A University of Cincinnati
study found that people who breathe in peppermint oil are immediately
more alert and better able to focus. Children who eat a peppermint
before tests score better. Athletes who inhale peppermint scent
have more energy. Try it the next time you work out.

Vanilla oil is a refreshing way to soothe restless children. It has a positive impact on the limbic center of the brain, which controls emotion, according to a study done at Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in NY. A few drops on the wrists of a child can transform a cranky, whiny child into one who is happy and laughing. Try this on your next road trip.

So the next time you’re stressed out, try reaching for a fragrant oil and see what a difference it makes.

For a free report on how to get and stay Fired Up!, go here http://firedupnow.com/top20tips/

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The Ideal Jobs for Low Stress

What Job is Right for You?

Do you thrive on uncertainty, love a challenge, and like the unexpected?
Or do you prefer consistency, even keel projects, predictable outcomes?
Your answer will determine which job style is right for you.

2 womenwhiteLRCareerCast.com has recently done a study on the jobs with the lowest stress levels.  Those include audiologists, dieticians, medical records technicians, hair stylists, university professors with tenure, multi-media artists, librarians and jewelers.

The ones with the most stress include jobs with unexpected and unpredictable conditions, like police, firefighters, airline pilots, military, newspaper reporter and taxi drivers.

For a complete look at the article, and expected growth in job categories,
go here: http://abcnews.go.com/Business/stressful-jobs/story?id=21441041#

For a free report on how to get and stay Fired Up!, go here http://firedupnow.com/top20tips/

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Can You Really Feel Better By Helping Someone?

Relieve Your Stress and Depression through Volunteering

Holding the hand of another“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia

One of the last things you might think of doing when you are very stressed is to take the time to help someone else, volunteering. But it can truly be the best thing you can do. I know this from my own personal experience.

Not too long ago, I was tired, frustrated and upset over a business issue, not sure what to do about it.  I was very stressed. Heading home with my husband that night, we turned down our street. He said, “There’s a girl sitting on the corner crying.” We immediately stopped the car and I got out to talk to her. Turns out, she was working for one of those magazine sales companies where they drop off youths and pick them up at the end of the day. She had no phone and no money; her ride was two hours late. So we called her manager and he said a ride was on its way. She waited in the car with us, shared her tragic life story, and when no ride arrived after 45 minutes, we turned around and drove her the half hour distance to her motel. When we arrived, I spoke to the manager about taking better care of this young woman (she was 20,) gave her some money and hugged her goodbye with some encouraging words. As we drove home again, all thoughts about my problems had completely vanished. My concerns were for her and how I could help others like her in the future. I realized my problems were far less pressing. There are those who are struggling to get by every day on the streets. It gave me a whole new appreciation of how fortunate I am.

A new study by Dr. Suzanne Richards and the University of Exeter Medical School, UK, confirms what other studies have said in the past:  volunteering is associated with lower depression, increased well-being, and a 22 % reduction in dying.

There are infinite ways to volunteer:
• mentor a child • help a neighbor repair their home
• organize a fundraiser for the arts
• work at a soup kitchen
• help at a homeless shelter
• participate in a “clean up your park” project
• volunteer at an animal shelter
• read to seniors at a senior center or hospital
• collect diapers for newborn centers
• help out at elementary schools
• collect books for literacy programs and then read for them

Try it.  No matter how upset you are about your life, you will experience an instant turn-around.  Always come from your heart and volunteer for something that matters to you.  And just like that, your problems will seem insignificant.

For a free report on how to get and stay Fired Up!, go here http://firedupnow.com/top20tips/  This will also subscribe you to Kindlings, my weekly email newsletter.

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Don’t Let Email Run Your Life

Manage Your Email Time and Reduce Stress

Say No

You don’t have to look at your email all the time….

I’ve heard so many professionals tell me in my speeches that they get hooked by their email and get stressed out.  Some even have an alarm that rings or chimes every time a new email comes in.  Turn that OFF!  No wonder your stress levels are skyrocketing through the roof!
Here are some simple ways to destress your email.

1. Remember Snail Mail?  You know, you go to your mailbox, pull out the letters, flyers and junk mail and trash about half of it before you even get home?  Do that with email.  Organize it into folders: important action, read later, associations,etc. and trash the rest.

2. Only check email 3-4 times a day- Do your HIGHEST PRIORITY money making tasks first always every day. Then check email at lunch, when you take breaks.  No alarms or flashes when you get a new one.  It’s probably spam anyway.

3. Use a SPAM FILTER.  One of my many email addresses (yes I get hundreds of emails every day) has no spam filter.  And now in addition to the Viagra ads, I get Asian character emails which I cannot read.  I keep that email only because I want to make it easy for people to reach me, but I have spam filters on all the others.

4. Have No -Email times every day.  Sunday, my husband and I went to the beach.  Ahh- glorious sunshine, surf, quiet and peace.  No email.  None- just focused time on my family.  Take time like that everyday.  Don’t make your children resent your phone.  It can wait.

 

For a free report on how to get and stay Fired Up!, go here http://firedupnow.com/top20tips/ 

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4. Have email-free times everyday.  We were at the beach on Sunday, and even though I have a smartphone, I did not read my email at all until late in the day. It was wonderful to have that freedom.  It lowers your stress and frees you to appreciate the people around you.

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Water is Critical to Your Health & Productivity

Are you massively dehydrated?

Glass of water from Stress ExpressIn many parts of the world, water is a rare and precious commodity. 780 Million people lack access to clean water. And yet in the Western world, we take it for granted, waste it on our lawns and forget to hydrate ourselves.

Every cell in our body depends on water to function properly.  Every day, we lose about 8 cups of water, which must be replenished.

A 2% drop in body water can trigger lack of concentration, short-term memory problems and trouble focusing.  A 5% drop in body fluids will cause a 25-30% loss in energy; a 15% drop causes death.  

80% of North Americans are suffering from dehydration, which causes:

• energy loss
• mental and physical exhaustion
• headaches and stiff joints
• anxiety and stress
• kidney stones
• cancer and diabetes

Even mild dehydration will slow down your metabolism by 3%!

A recent report says drinking 5 glasses of water daily cuts the risk of colon cancer by 45%, and the risk of breast cancer by 79% .  Imagine what would happen if you drank 8 glasses of water a day!

Caffeine dehydrates you as a diuretic, so for every cup of coffee or tea you drink, have two glasses of water. Avoid drinking soda.  The active ingredient is phosphoric acid, which leaches calcium from your bones, causing osteoporosis.

Carry around a glass water bottle, fill it regularly from the purified fountain at work, and drink it every hour.  You’ll be amazed by how much more energy you have and how much better you feel.

 

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Savor the Present Moment

 Increase Your Happiness with this Technique

tropicalbrookLR

After battling pneumonia, I was recently on vacation in the islands.  I had one focus: to enjoy the present moment.

That’s not quite as easy as it sounds. Our brains are wired to continually think, and many of us project about the future (work, money, family, commitments, etc.)

But I tried hard to silence my brain and just be.  Looking at the exquisite turquoise water, I absorbed the beauty.  Walking past a brilliantly hued hibiscus, I appreciated the vibrant color.  Listening to chattering  parrots, I enjoyed their unique way of communicating.  And a funny thing happened.  I became more peaceful inside.  I truly relaxed and felt the simple joy of the moment.

 

A new study featured in this month’s Prevention magazine explains it: Savoring the moment rather than analyzing or critiquing it gives you a huge boost in happiness.  So what does savoring look like?  Part childlike exuberance with whooping or whee kind of glee, and part adult wisdom of “enjoy life while you can.”  This meant all the more to me since I had just been so gravely ill, but it worked.  For the most part, I spent all vacation in the present moment and it brought me such joy and peace.  So yes – your life can be better right now: just savor the present moment.

 

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